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Metro
12-08-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
This is why you keep getting ghosted after a good date
You meet a handsome date in a bar and he's perfectly charming. You hit it off, he compliments your eyes, and after a few drinks discussing your dreams of travelling and sharing pet photos, he walks you to the station and kisses you goodnight. But the next morning there's no message. That's okay, he's probably playing it cool. But morning turns to evening, which stretches into a few days, and all you have is tumbleweeds. You've been ghosted. Now, I'm certainly not projecting here (it's the last time I trek to Paddington for a date), being ghosted is becoming somewhat of a universal experience. It was a sore point for one listener on Metro's Just Between Us podcast, who wrote in asking for advice on what to do when she'd been ghosted. She said: 'I went out with a guy – best date ever! He asked me to go on another date during our first date, texted me after the date saying goodnight and how much he enjoyed it. 'But it's been silence since then – I've been ghosted.' X Factor icon Diana Vickers and Metro's dating expert Alice Giddings dive into your wildest sex, love, and dating dilemmas – every Tuesday. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. And be sure to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also join the fun on our WhatsApp Group Chat here – share your dilemmas and Diana and Alice may just give you a call. If this has happened to you, we can confirm that if the date went great, it's likely your date had a case of the 'identity wobbles'. Relationship psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani explains this is much more common than we think. 'It happens when a date goes so well that it unexpectedly triggers an identity crisis, or when someone feels it is 'too good to be true',' she tells Metro. 'So, they may end up self-abandoning by sabotaging the connection, especially if they hold a deeper belief that it is not going to work out.' She adds that people who experience this reaction usually have anxious or avoidant attachment styles. At least you know it's not a you problem. In fact, Dr Suglani, dating expert for eharmony, explains: 'If someone's self-image is rooted in being single, emotionally unavailable, or 'not ready for a relationship,' the sudden possibility of real connection can feel destabilising. 'Rather than confront these feelings, they may withdraw abruptly.' After a date, ghosting becomes the quickest way to restore emotional equilibrium and regulate their nervous systems,' she adds. Essentially, ghosting is the brain choosing the 'flight' part of the flight-or-fight response to the emotional risk – no matter how enjoyable the date was. It's a total bummer, but there are some signs you can look out for to try and avoid those who are likely to have an identity wobble. With 29% of daters admitting to being a ghoster, you might have your work cut out for you. Dr Suglani says: 'They might make self-deprecating jokes about being 'bad at relationships' or 'emotionally unavailable.' 'They could be vague about their recent dating history or say they 'aren't looking for anything serious' while still agreeing to a date. 'Or they might seem charming but slightly avoidant when asked personal or future oriented questions.' In short, no. It sucks, but you may just have to let that dreamy Prince Charming get away. 'There is little you can do to change someone's readiness for intimacy or a relationship,' the therapist explains. 'It is about their internal landscape and their level of self-awareness, not your behaviour.' If you really want to try and break their pattern, then Dr Suglani suggests: 'Pace the emotional intensity of early dates and create space for them to opt in at their own speed, while also managing your own expectations and tending to your own wounds. More Trending 'For example, if you grew up with an avoidant parent, you may find this dynamic unconsciously 'attractive' and feel compelled to 'fix' the person, so be mindful of this tendency. 'If they still ghost, it reflects where they are in their own self-concept, not the quality of the connection or who they are dating. 'Plus, if you feel sadness or disappointment, it is important to practise self-care and engage in activities that support and ground you.' View More » Trying to fix someone never goes well, so look after number one and you'll be golden, even if you end up being haunted by a few ghosts along the way. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: My husband asked for a divorce – I was devastated but proud of him MORE: 7 traits in your partner that prove they'll be a good parent MORE: My husband's devastating secret made me throw up — but I can't leave him
Yahoo
25-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
'Slow Burn' Is Trending On Dating Profiles Right Now — But It Might Not Mean What You Think
There's a new phenomenon hitting dating apps in recent months: People are now explicitly looking for a 'slow burn.' It's a bit different from the more obvious intentions that were popular five years ago, like 'looking for a partner in crime' or a 'friends with benefits, only' situation. In some ways, the 'slow burn' feels like a mashup of the two: someone looking for a real relationship — albeit slow-going — that will most likely involve the benefits of a relationship, like sex, eventually (or sooner rather than later). That was my experience earlier this year with a guy I met on Bumble. He was a military doctor who lived in a different city. He was busy. A lot. We texted frequently, but meetups were few and far between. I figured it was a slow burn — we were taking our time getting to know each other. We weren't rushing; we were pacing. According to Laurel House, relationship expert and dating coach at eharmony, a slow burn romance is one that takes time to grow. 'Initially, daters might say they don't feel chemistry but might sense a potential for a connection or even a 'just friends' vibe. That is all OK, as long as they don't discard the potential after one date,' she explains. As the connection grows, House said, the slow burn feelings 'are simultaneously beginning to root into the hearts and minds of the new budding couple (or even just new friends). It's actually a good thing chemistry isn't initially felt within a slow burn build, because chemistry — like fireworks — hits hard and fades fast. Slow burn, on the other hand, creates the environment for true intimacy: emotional intimacy.' That intimacy is built through 'confidently vulnerable conversation' where both people open up emotionally. 'When you open up and have those hard conversations, in which you showcase your vulnerability and share your stories, you are opening your heart,' she said. 'When the other person opens up and shares as well, you are two people with open hearts and the possibility of true connection.' It's what happened for Railey Molinario who met her husband Erik online during the pandemic on a dating site. 'Because of lockdown, we couldn't meet up right away, so we just talked on the phone every day for three months straight,' she said. 'No pressure, no rushing. Just long conversations about life, our pasts, our goals, and what we really wanted in a relationship. By the time we finally met in person, it felt natural, like we already knew each other. There were no games or guesswork. We built trust before anything physical ever happened.' Why More People Are Feeling The 'Burn' Relationship coach Whitney Kobrinbelieves slow burn romances are increasingly popular because they counteract the burnout from love-bombing and app culture. 'When I met my current fiancé, it took us three months to go on our first three dates. A week would go by without a text. But I didn't panic,' she said. 'I was in 'trust the universe' mode and didn't try to force it or exit prematurely. I'm so glad our initial stage was a slow burn, as it gave us both time to date other people, gain clarity, and make rational (not hormonal) decisions that have led us to a happy, healthy, lasting relationship, going on seven years!' For Kobrin, who once had an anxious attachment style, going slow became a healing, strategic move when it came to finding the right match. 'If you have a pattern of jumping all in and flaming out quickly, it's strategic and intelligent to take your time getting to know someone over multiple dates and conversations.' The Benefits Of Slowing Down Kobrin outlines three major benefits to slow burn dating: It allows time to see someone's true character beyond their highlight reel. It encourages being present and enjoying small moments instead of rushing into future fantasies. It prevents physical intimacy from clouding your judgment too early. 'When you take your time getting to know someone, letting it burn slowly and naturally, your commitment is even stronger,' she said. House adds that slow burn dating can actually produce more enduring love. 'Slow burn romance can be created from dating apps, exes reconnecting, or friends turning into lovers. Regardless of how it starts, slow burn is the best way to activate and root a deeply enduring love,' she said. As Molinario puts it: 'We realized how rare that kind of connection was, and we both wanted to protect it. It taught me that slowing down actually speeds up clarity. We knew we had something real before the first date.' When You See 'Slow Burn' In Someone's Profile... Even in the fast-paced world of dating apps, House insists slow burn is achievable ― if not highly desirable. 'Slow burn is certainly coming on the heels of love-bombing and shoppable dating. These fast-fading dating trends burned themselves out, and daters are no longer interested in dating games,' she shares. 'Daters are looking for something real and enduring — they want to truly feel — and they want to rise into love (not fall into it).' House's advice: Start with six to eight substantive messages on the app, where you ask real questions and share a few interesting details and stories about yourself. Once you get to know each other well enough, she then recommends scheduling a phone date when you are both able to physically and emotionally focus on each other and talk for 30-60 minutes. 'This process helps prequalify and disqualify matches,' she said. 'By the time you meet in person, you know if it's worth your time.' House encourages daters to go on three dates (even if you're not feeling 'it' right away) and to use the 3H strategy: head, then heart, then hormones. That means starting with curiosity and conversation, then building emotional and physical intimacy over time. 'By dating head-first, you're allowing curiosity to be activated, creating opportunities for connective conversations — and within these conversations, the slow burn begins,' House said. 'You are now interested to learn more, so you go on a second date.' On the second date, she recommends connecting on numerous levels to help the slow burn continue — such as breaking the touch barrier to physically connect through an extended hug or maybe even a kiss. By the third date, she said you should start to feel 'something that continues to make you want more... and if you don't by then, I recommend you move on.' 'Slow Burns' Come With Red Flags, Too But not every slow-moving romance is a slow burn. Sometimes it can mask emotional unavailability. Like in my case, my slow burn went on for six months until it flamed out after physical intimacy. 'Some people use 'slow burn' as a scapegoat to string someone along when they're not truly interested,' House said. 'Others genuinely take longer to open up, but it's important to recognize when someone is avoidant or not ready for connection,' she adds. The difference? Progress. 'Every date and conversation should be building. If it stalls with no growth, it may be time to move on.' That was my biggest indicator that what I was experiencing was in fact, not, a slow burn. There were more stops than starts; our conversations started to dwindle. There were no talks of future meetups. I wondered if it was because he was really taking things slow, or if there was something else amiss. Which is why if you or the other person is slowing the pace, it's key to communicate that you want to take things slow, House adds, as well as to ask questions, so there's no confusion about your intentions. 'It's important to let your match know you are interested in them and that you are interested in slowly learning about each other,' she said. 'It's too easy to quickly make assumptions and jump to your own conclusions when you don't have enough information. A lack of information activates the other person's imagination to fill in the blanks. They might assume you are not interested, or that you only want a pen pal, if you aren't immediately going on a date. Let them know you would love to get to know them a little bit more on the app before taking the next step of having a phone date and then an in-person date.' It Actually Work? Yes, all three experts agree that this does work — but it works best when both people are aligned in what they want. 'When you take your time getting to know someone, letting it burn slowly and naturally, your commitment is even stronger,' Kobrin said. For Molinario, going slow led to a thriving marriage. 'Taking it slow gave [me and my partner] a solid foundation. We built our connection on honesty and emotional safety from the beginning. That made everything else easier later on.' Related... I'm A 39-Year-Old Divorced Woman, And There's 1 Infuriating Phrase I Keep Seeing On Dating Apps I Ditched The Apps To Go Speed Dating — And Scored In the Most Unexpected Way Every Man On Dating Apps Is Suddenly Adding These 2 Words To Their Profile — And It Might Not Be A Good Thing Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
14-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Best dating apps for singles who want something serious
Editors and writers independently select products unless marked Sponsored or Promoted. Sponsored content is a paid ad, while content marked Promoted is chosen by Ziff Davis leadership. We may earn an affiliate commission if you buy through our links. Promoted cards do not include input from individual authors. Gone are the days when people balk at you if you say you met your partner online. Dating apps have irrevocably changed the way we date — much like how social media networks changed the way we interact with each other on the whole. With so many apps, from Bumble to eharmony, it can be difficult to discern which ones to invest in — especially if you're looking for that special someone. According to 2023 findings from the Pew Research Center, one in ten partnered adults (married, living with a partner, or in a committed relationship) met their partner on a dating app or site. For younger and/or LGBTQ people, you're more likely to have met your significant other online: one in five adults under 30 and nearly one in four for LGBTQ adults. SEE ALSO: Broke but looking for love? Try the best free dating apps that actually work in 2025. The same study found that almost half (44 percent) of dating app users said a major reason for using them was to meet a long-term partner. So, if that's you, you're certainly not alone. If you're online, however, you're surely aware of the discourse around dating app culture these days. People are burnt out on dating apps, some opting for IRL events instead. Still, it's undeniable that if you want to date from the comfort and safety of your home, a dating app is the way to do it. If you're, for example, introverted or have difficulty approaching someone in person, an app does have its uses. It's difficult to quantify which dating app is the best, considering users have an array of experiences on them. Some people find their spouses on Tinder, while others are disappointed that their matches are only looking for hookups. That being said, if you're looking for something serious, your best bet is likely an app with a large user base, options for you to indicate what you're looking for on your bio, and filters to weed out who you really want to partner with. There are also apps whose branding is geared towards finding one's ultimate match — like eharmony and Match, both decades-old sites with reputations for helping users find their spouse. Hinge, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel also have a reputation for more "serious" connections. Depending on what relationship you're seeking, you may also benefit from a more niche app. Take one app on our list, SilverSingles, for people over 50. Sure, there are older adults on apps like Tinder and Bumble as well, but you may have more luck finding someone age-appropriate if you're in a space meant just for you. Mashable has researched to pick out a few from the plethora of dating sites (and apps) out there. These options are available for Android and Apple users, so whatever phone you have won't determine your options. In terms of monetary investment, you can use some of these for free (like Tinder and Bumble), while others are more pay-to-play. We've also included some "niche" options, like the aforementioned SilverSingles and Elite Singles, so you have more than the standard buffet of dating apps. Here are the best dating apps for serious relationships:
The Sun
13-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- The Sun
5 psychological tricks to make someone fall for you instantly and the 4 big conversation mistakes you want to avoid
FED up of never making it past the first date? Four dating and relationship experts have revealed the insider tricks that set pulses racing. From the two colours you should wear, to the words you should effortlessly drop into conversation - there's no reason why a second date - and more - won't be on the cards... 5 5 Red nail theory 'Red is seen as the colour of passion, love and desire [and] a subtle touch, like a red lipstick, can have a strong effect,' on your date, Dating coach and relationship expert, James Preece. 'The red nail theory on social media taps into this idea, where women paint their nails red for the same reason. 'Black is also a strong colour option for a date outfit. It's flattering to most people and adds a touch of mystery and sophistication.' Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, an eharmony relationship and award-winning psychologist, reveals the evidence behind the red nail theory. ' The colour red has long been associated with passion, desire, and attraction,' she says. 'Biologically, red is a powerful visual cue as it mimics physical signs of arousal like flushed skin or lips, which are subconsciously linked to health, fertility, and vitality. 'That's why red often evokes desire and draws attention. 'Culturally, red has also long been associated with sexuality and confidence, think red lipstick, red dresses, red roses. It's a colour we've been conditioned to associate with attraction.' Triangle gaze 'Eye contact is already very powerful when it comes to effective communication, but if you want to turn up the intimacy without saying a single word, try out the triangle gaze technique,' Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney suggests. 'This involves alternating eye contact between their left and right eyes and lips. This is a subtle way to signal romantic interest and instantly creates a sense of closeness between you both. 'But, don't overdo it as it can come across a little creepy - just hold their eye contact slightly longer than normal, and sprinkle in a few soft glances to their lips. 'It's very flirty and can be incredibly effective.' Jessica Leoni, a sex and relationships expert for also recommends the 'triple nod'. 'When your date is talking, use the triple nod - it's a subtle cue that shows you're engaged, encouraging them to open up and feel validated, which adds a feeling of emotional closeness.' Keywords to whisper 'Words can create deeper emotional bonds and desire', Dr. Lalitaa says. But flirting successfully and increasing desire 'aren't just about compliments, they're about making the other person feel something meaningful'. The expert adds: 'It's less about being slick and more about being emotionally engaging.' And there are a couple of words you can drop into conversation when you're next on a date… 5 1. 'Imagine' 'This engages the mind in future possibilities. For example, 'imagine us doing this again on a beach somewhere.'' 2. 'Feel' 'Emotionally charged language increases intimacy. The word 'feel' is a great example of this. 'I love how easy it feels to talk to you.'' 3. 'We' 'We' creates a sense of connection and shared experience. You could say something like 'we're really vibing tonight.'' Jessica also suggests using the other person's name in conversation: 'This works like a charm because using someone's name sparingly throughout a chat triggers feelings of intimacy and attentiveness.' There are also ' certain phrases that land better on a potential new partner compared to generic compliments," Annabelle mentions. 'Such as 'I've never told anyone this before' or 'You just understand me' or 'I always feel better around you', as these invite emotional intimacy, make them feel special, and create emotional memories,' she says. 'Steer clear of heavy or negative topics early on in your talking phase, such as exes and family dramas. Instead, you want your connection to flourish organically with a foundation of joy and curiosity and remember to keep it sincere.' Mystery over mind games 'Some men wait to reply to gauge your interest,' James says. 'But the truth is, dating isn't a competition. You're both trying to find a connection and should both be on the same team. 'If you're free and want to reply, just do it. Being authentic is more attractive than playing hard to get.' James, who is also an author at HeraHaven, has advice for anyone dating someone who is poor at texting: 'Show the communication style you'd like to receive, rather than punishing them. But don't appear too keen. If you're interested in the other person, let them know, and make it clear you have other options. 'Many men enjoy the chase, so give them space to take the lead. If you are too keen, then it might make them question things. So get the balance right.' Whatever you do, avoid displaying 'hot and cold behaviour,' because James says this is 'one of the worst mind games' to play when dating. 'Intense interest one day and ghosting the next. This can be a red flag that they are emotionally unavailable, but they do it to make you desire them more,' he adds. Annabelle offers advice from a female perspective: 'I'm not saying you should be a closed book, but leaving a little bit of mystery can leave people wanting more of you. Conversation sins to avoid Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for shared her advice... Talking too much about yourself – focusing on yourself kills connection. What you want to aim for is balance, and show genuine interest in their life and stories. Interrogation-style questions – rapid-fire questioning can make someone feel like they're in an interview which can be really off-putting. Keep the flow natural and conversational, rather than asking continuous questions. Showing off – confidence is sexy but make sure it doesn't come across as bragging. People find it easier to connect with others who are relatable, and showing off can have a negative effect on the way you're perceived. Using tired pick-up lines or overly rehearsed compliments – it's so important to be sincere because generic flattery often feels hollow. Compliments can be great confidence boosters, but make sure they're specific to them so they don't feel you've said it a million times before. 'Don't hurry to respond to every single message or reveal everything about yourself in your first few interactions; let them discover layers of you over time. 'A little bit of unpredictability creates intrigue - but not to the point that you become frustrating or rude - and intrigue can be irresistible. 'The key here is to balance warmth with just the right amount of distance to leave them curious.' Perfect date length 'The sweet spot for a first date is typically 60 to 90 minutes,' Dr. Lalitaa points out. 'Long enough to build a connection and get beyond surface-level conversation, but short enough to leave space for curiosity and anticipation.' Less than two hours might seem super short but 'it's all about emotional pacing'. 'You want to end a date on a high note (rather than dragging it out) - it keeps energy and interest alive, which is essential for building momentum,' she adds. 'A date that's too long can lead to fatigue or oversharing, while too short might not allow for emotional safety to form.' Instead, you want to focus on 'creating a space that feels enjoyable, emotionally safe, and leaves room for 'what next?''. As for what is the best date, James says many 'men like to do something active like bowling, axe throwing or mini golf, because this gives them a chance to show off their skills and try to impress the other person. Not to mention, highlight their playful side'. On the flip side, 'a simple date like going for a drink is often ideal for the first time meeting up, because there's no pressure and it's much easier to get to know each other in a relaxed environment'. 'That way, you can save the activities for the second date when you know each other slightly better and feel there is already a spark there,' he adds.
Daily Mail
30-04-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Expert reveals why young people in age-gap relationships may struggle to go the distance - as Jojo Siwa, 21, and Chris Hughes, 32, spark romance rumours
It's safe to say that nobody had on their 2025 bingo cards that JoJo Siwa and Chris Hughes would form such a strong bond during their recent stint on Celebrity Big Brother. Now, relationship experts have had their take on the matter, revealing why such a large age gap - of 11 years - may struggle to work in the real world. Age gap relationships have become a cultural norm in recent years, with a number of high-profile celebrity couples connecting despite their different life stages. From Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Jason Statham (20 years apart) to Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (23 years apart); and Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (25 years apart) to David and Georgia Tennant (13 years apart), many couples have made it work. 21-year-old singer JoJo - who previously claimed to have started a new genre of 'gay pop' - was in a relationship with Australian influencer Kath Ebbs when she entered the CBB House. But she and Chris, who is 32, raised eyebrows as they grew closer on screen - even cuddling up in bed and exchanging massages. While JoJo and Chris have since insisted their relationship is purely platonic, the 11-year difference between them has been the subject of scrutiny among CBB viewers. Indeed, significant age gaps between couples can be trickier to navigate if the younger party is in their early 20s, says Dr Lalitaa Suglani, relationship psychologist at eharmony. Dr Lalitaa tells FEMAIL that the 'developmental and life-stage differences can be profound' when the younger person in an age-gap relationship is still in their early 20s. 'The brain is still maturing into the mid-20s - which is what research shows us, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which governs long-term planning (it is almost like the manager in our brain), impulse control, and emotional regulation. 'This can mean the younger partner is still exploring identity, boundaries, and values, while the older partner may be more established and sure of what they want and of course this is subject to experiences.' She adds that the disparity between where each individual is at in their lives can create a 'power imbalance'. This imbalance can be 'emotional, financial or experiential' and can 'subtly influence how the relationship unfolds'. 'The younger partner may feel pressure to 'keep up' or defer to the older partner's preferences, sometimes without even realising it.' 'This isn't always unhealthy, but it does require awareness, open communication, and mutual respect to ensure both parties feel empowered and safe,' Dr Lalitaa says. One of the main challenges of being significantly younger or older than your partner is the difference in emotional maturity, expectations and life experiences. 'For example, the older partner may be ready for long-term commitments or more settled lifestyle choices, while the younger partner may still be in a phase of exploration or self-discovery, although I do need to add that this is subject to experiences,' Dr Lalitaa explains. 'Social perceptions can also play a role, the relationship may face outside scrutiny, which can cause strain, especially if one partner feels misunderstood or judged. 'Additionally, subtle power dynamics can emerge, particularly if the older partner takes on a guiding or 'mentor' role, which may blur boundaries.' Despite the challenges, age-gap relationships can still be healthy, successful and long-lasting - as proven by some of our favourite celebrity couples. In 2021, Catherine Zeta-Jones opened up about the 25 years between her and Michael Douglas, to whom she has been married since 2000. She said: 'With any relationship, it wouldn't be normal if there weren't any ups and downs. 'The constant is love and respect. We've never, ever lost our sense of humour, and we enjoy each other's company.' Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has also spoken candidly about her 20-year difference with Jason Statham. The couple have been together since 2009 and share two children, Jack, eight, and Isabella, three. They met when Rosie was 22 and Jason was 42. In an interview with Glamour, Rosie said the best part of being with an older man is his knowledge and strength, which she described a 'really inspiring and attractive'. The model added: 'We have a connection that has nothing to do with age. 'Work comes and goes, but if you have someone at home who thinks you're the greatest person in the world, that keeps you going.' Dr Lalitaa says that the key to a healthy age-gap relationship is staying attuned to one another's emotional needs, as well as having mutual respect and clear boundaries. 'Both individuals need to reflect honestly on why they're drawn to the connection, and whether both voices are equally heard in decision-making. 'If the relationship is built on shared values rather than emotional dependence or imbalance, it can thrive like any other.
