Latest news with #emotionalbaggage
Independent Singapore
22-07-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
Woman calls it quits after realising she couldn't live in her boyfriend's former matrimonial home
SINGAPORE: A woman recently shared online that she ended a budding relationship after realising she couldn't bring herself to live in her boyfriend's former matrimonial home. Posting on Reddit, the 35-year-old explained that both she and her 39–year-old boyfriend owned HDB flats. She had purchased a four-room unit in the Canberra area last year as a single owner, while her boyfriend was in the process of taking over full ownership of a four-room flat in the east, which he had previously lived in with his ex-wife. Since HDB regulations don't allow couples to each own a flat, the pair had to discuss what to do next. That's when things got tricky. According to her, she didn't want to give up her flat to move in with him. The idea of living in a space that had been part of a seven-year relationship didn't sit well with her. 'I was not keen by the idea that he's lived there with his ex for over 5 years, together for 7 years?' she wrote. 'I wanted to avoid the emotional baggage that comes with it.' Her boyfriend, however, wasn't willing to part with his flat either. He felt it had better resale potential and that its value would appreciate significantly over time, while hers would likely stay about the same. A friend, who knew about the situation, told her she was 'being unreasonable' and suggested that they could simply renovate the space. 'He [my friend] was convinced that we could have spent some money on a complete makeover of his flat, i.e., hack the walls, floors, replace the furnitures, repaint the house, etc., to make it look as good as brand new but mentally, it still irks me knowing that they've shared the same space,' she wrote. 'I know some people are willing parties to buy over the ex's share of the flat (good for you!!!), but it's just not for me,' she added. At the end of her post, she asked the Reddit community, 'Was wondering if it's normal to feel out of place, or am I over-reacting over something simple like this?' 'Memories within the four walls can be rewritten with the present.' In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors strongly supported the woman's decision to end the relationship. 'Your concerns are valid. Would be pretty complicated moving into his matrimonial home since all his memories with his ex-partner (and kids) were all created there,' one Redditor wrote. 'If he doesn't agree to moving elsewhere, you are better off with someone else.' Another shared her own experience, writing, 'I'm living with my BF in the home he lived in with his ex-wife and their children. My circumstances are a little different because it's his family's multi-gen legacy landed kinda type, but sometimes I still get a little sad and feel little bit like the outsider because some of her things are still here and there.' A third said, 'Nahh, you're not overreacting or at least not for me, the thought of living in the same house as his ex-wife used to would give me the biggest ick.' Still, not everyone saw things the same way. Several Redditors felt that the woman was indeed 'overreacting,' and said it was 'unfair' of her to expect the man to give up his flat simply because he had lived there with his family. 'As a female, I do think that it's ridiculous to expect that from another guy. It's not like you don't have your own past relationships and baggages,' one Redditor added. 'Yes, it is a home he shared with his ex-wife, but memories within the four walls can be rewritten with the present. Personally, I'll be able to accept a guy like that, but then again, I'm not the emotional type.' In other news, an employer took to social media to share that her domestic helper refuses to care for her toddler, even when the child is sick or in distress. Posting in the 'Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper' Facebook group, the employer explained that she had clearly laid out her expectations when hiring the helper around five months ago. Read more: Employer says her helper refuses to care for her 3 yo daughter, claims she left child in soiled diaper and standing in her own vomit Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
'Too Much' review: Lena Dunham Netflix series shows her evolution from 'Girls,' putting her mark on a rom-com
In Lena Dunham's highly-anticipated return to TV with Too Much on Netflix, she's putting her stamp on a blend of classic rom-com tropes, with a lot of emotional baggage. Starring Hacks breakout star Megan Stalter, alongside Will Sharpe, Michael Zegen, Janicza Bravo, Rhea Perlman, Rita Wilson, Emily Ratajkowski and Dunham herself, there's a lot to love about this new show. A semi-autobiographical show inspired by Dunham's move from New York to London, where she met her now husband, Luis Felber, it's easy to make connections to what we know about Dunham's personal life. But you can also see the evolution of her voice as a TV creator, writer and director. Too Much release date: July 10 on NetflixCreators: Lena Dunham and Luis FelberDirector: Lena DunhamCast: Megan Stalter, Will Sharpe, Michael Zegan, Janicza Bravo, Richard E. Grant, Leo Reich, Daisy Bevan, Adele Exarchopoulos, Dean-Charles Chapman, Rita Wilson, Naomi Watts, Prasanna Puwanarajah, Andrew Rannells, Rhea Perlman, Emily Ratajkowski, Stephen Fry, Kaori Momoi, Adwoa AboahNumber of episodes: 10 In Too Much we follow Jessica "Jess" (Megan Stalter), a New Yorker in her 30s dealing with the aftermath of a harsh breakup with her boyfriend Zev (Michael Zegen), who went on to date popular influencer Wendy (Emily Ratajkowski). She's now living with her grandmother Dottie (Rhea Perlman), her mother Lois (Rita Wilson), sister Nora (Lena Dunham), along with Nora's 13-year-old son. Jess works for Nora's estranged husband Jameson (Andrew Rannells), who recommends her for a job in London to be a producer for a Christmas ad, and Jess takes the plunge to make the move to England. On her first night in London she goes to a pub where she sees musician Felix (Will Sharpe) perform. They hit it off quite quickly with flirtatious banter, but Jess questions her own judgement in men, particularly after what happened with Zev. Felix is also a series of red flags. Doesn't have a job, aside from playing whatever gigs he can get with his band, he's also struggled with commitment in previous relationships. But there's still something beautiful about their connection as they both work through traumas from their pasts, while getting closer as a couple. In Jess's case, that includes making private social media posts, speaking Wendy, as a way to channel all her emotions from her previous relationship. Girls premiered in 2012 and saw both significant praise and criticism for its execution of a story about New York millennial women, but Too Much is a reminder of how unique Dunham's voice is in the TV and film landscape. There's just something endearing about the way that Dunham writes stories and crafts characters, leaning into the messiness and insecurities in their lives in a way that at times certainly works for a laugh, but always feels authentic, and is almost scarily relatable. The experience of trying to find your place, figuring out what you want in life, getting the confidence to put yourself out there to succeeded, and trying to avoid the inevitable mistakes along the way is absolutely addressed in other shows and movies, but the way it's tackled in Too Much just feels special to Dunham. This definitely isn't Girls, and likely won't have the same pop culture impact, at least with just this season, but you can absolutely identify when it's Dunham who's crafted a story. She has a uniquely singular voice and it feels so good to watch a project like that. Stalter has the exact leading woman presence you crave, with the skills to tackle the swings from outrageous comedy, to incredible awkwardness, to tearjerker emotional moments. The series really feels like it locks in once we get to dive deeper into the pasts of both Jess and Felix, and for Sharpe, he's able to move through all the complex details of Felix's life. And it's a tall order, because there's a lot of trauma Felix is holding on to. Of course, with such a strong supporting cast, you just want to see more of them than the show has the real estate for. There could be a show that's just about Jess, her grandmother, mother and sister. And that does leave you with a feeling of wanting more from a show that sometimes feels like we're rushing to the finish line. It's certainly a largely predictable show, you quickly understand where much of it is going, but it's worth sticking around through the 10 episodes. If there's one thing you can count on Dunham to do for a project inspired by her own life is to bring an honesty to her characters, with some of the best dialogue you could imagine in the context, and a perfectly placed song in the background, and that's what comes through in Too Much.
Forbes
30-06-2025
- General
- Forbes
Why Great Leaders Must Learn To Be Misunderstood, And Do It Anyway
Being misunderstood taps into our emotional baggage One thing you can count on when you enter a leadership position is that you will at some point be misunderstood. No matter how much thoughtful consideration you put into getting your point across, how pure your intentions, there are too many factors at play for your plans to be foolproof. As you rise in the ranks, this will only become more true. The more visible you become, the more your decisions, your actions, and your words will be given more importance and consequently more often misunderstood. You'll want to believe the old adage: it's not personal, it's just business. The problem is that it is personal; it stings. It stings because it taps into our psychology. Being Misunderstood Taps Into Our Emotional Baggage One of the hardest parts of allowing yourself to be misunderstood is whatever baggage you carry within you, internally, on a daily basis. Needing to be understood taps into our sense of security, our need to be liked, seen, validated, and approved. The need for external validation, however, is a dangerous road for a leader to travel. When you're in a leadership position, it's important to gather points of view, weigh the options, and then make the decision you think will be the best course of action. Worrying how that decision will be accepted will affect the actual decision-making process and muddy the waters. You'll find yourself trying to manage how others perceive you rather than the problem at hand. When that happens, you might find yourself overexplaining, backpedaling, and worst case scenario, not making a decision. You thus have to do some soul-searching to find where that need for validation comes from. Even if you don't find it though, when that misunderstanding hits something tender in you, you'll need to find a way to tolerate your own discomfort. That's the tricky part. You need to find a way to not only say to yourself 'I know who I am, even if they don't. And I can sit with the ache of that' but to really feel it. This might take some time, and that's ok. You can at least practice by going through the motions, to feel what it feels like not being understood, even if you secretly crave validation. Why This Is Particularly Important For Women Leaders A 1991 study by psychologist Judith Jordan and her colleagues explored the idea that women's psychological development isn't primarily driven by independence and self-sufficiency (as it is considered to be for men), but by connection. According to this relational model, growth for women is tied into having mutual, empathetic relationships. Moreover, their theory further posited that women's emotional health is deeply tied to feeling understood and emotionally in sync with others. You can see the conundrum here. For many women leaders, being misunderstood isn't just a leadership issue, it's a deeply entrenched psychological one. It creates cracks in the foundation of our experience of safety and self-worth. On a sidenote: recognize that this facet to our psychology isn't a weakness, it's a strength. It's the very thing that makes women great leaders. Women are about community, empathy, and collaboration. These are all tenets of good leadership. The problem is when our need to be understood outweighs the leading decisively. Then the internal battle begins. You may not even be consciously aware of it when it's happening, though the signs of burnout will be undeniable. The Pressure To Be Understood Leads To Burnout Worrying about what others are thinking when it comes to your decision-making will cause you mental stress. It's only a matter of time before that mental stress compounds with each new decision and you find yourself a victim of burnout. Once the burnout creeps in, your executive functioning will suffer, which will affect your ability to lead. The effort exerted to constantly explain yourself, ensuring you're understood, that everyone's comfortable will inevitably deplete you. What's unique about this quality of burnout is it's not just physical and/or mental, it has the added measure of identity crisis. As you start to shapeshift to be understood (and moreover accepted) you start to lose sight of who you are as a leader. There is a way through - and out - however. Six Ways to Lead Through the Discomfort Reshaping your relationship with being misunderstood doesn't mean you have to become cold, distant and disconnected. Rather, fortify your internal self so you can lead with self-assurance and clarity, even if others don't get you. Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate the discomfort. The fact of the matter is that being misunderstood goes hand in hand with leadership. It's part of the deal. It's not an indication that you're doing something wrong or that you're a bad leader. It means you're a human being working with other human beings. When humans get together, expect misunderstanding. You're in the difficult position of having to make decisions that affect many. You have to set boundaries. You have to consider multiple points of view and courses of action. How would you not be misunderstood from time to time? Your job is to lead. Yes, lead with empathy, lead from a place of humanity, create psychological safety and a positive workplace culture, but also don't lose sight of who you are. Keep fostering trust in yourself. Others may not understand your every move, but they don't have to.
Telegraph
30-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
‘I'm finally enjoying my sex life after 20 years married to a tyrant'
The next few months were fuelled by a 'f--k it' attitude Meanwhile, I found the confidence to explore the burgeoning post-50s dating scene. I did have one rule. I didn't bring anyone home when the boys were there. I finally found my voice, both inside and outside the bedroom, no longer oppressed and stifled by the need to be the docile wife. There has been one significant other, in the early days post-divorce, but it ended badly when he didn't want me to work with a male colleague. I was not going to come straight out of a controlling marriage into another one where a man felt like he could tell me what to do. The next few months were fuelled by a 'f--k it' attitude and a desire for fun, but pretty soon I became fatigued by the fiftysomething dating app failures, like Big D. Eventually, on Hinge, I was matched with the much younger and tall, dark and uncomplicated city boy Theo. With older men, there's often no communication and no discussion. A 55-year-old man would walk in naked, and I'd be like, 'OK, we're going straight to this are we?'' It's very instant, with no foreplay. With Theo, it was more: 'Let's take it slowly'. We saw each other for a few months, and then he decided he wanted a deeper emotional attachment and is now in a relationship with a girl his own age, and that's absolutely fine. Now I've bumped into an old friend, yes he's older, yes he has got more emotional baggage than all the others put together – but, he's kind, communicative, honest and almost matches up to Theo in terms of stamina. Like the youngsters do, he's asked me to be his girlfriend, and I've agreed. It's another new chapter, and I'm ready to start it. *All names have been changed
