logo
ENع
#

Latest news with #expectations

My mum expects me to take care of her by getting a high-paying job in Singapore and marrying a "traditional" wife
My mum expects me to take care of her by getting a high-paying job in Singapore and marrying a "traditional" wife

Independent Singapore

time9 hours ago

  • General
  • Independent Singapore

My mum expects me to take care of her by getting a high-paying job in Singapore and marrying a "traditional" wife

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media to ask other locals, 'Those who grew up with very demanding parents: in retrospect, did they act in your best interest? Or is it their own?' In a post on the r/askSingapore subreddit, he shared that his mum had placed many expectations on him from a young age. She often reminded him that caring for their parents was '100 percent' a child's responsibility. She also insisted he should eventually marry a 'traditional' woman who would take care of her, and that he must seek her approval before entering a relationship or getting married because 'older people have more experience.' Looking back, he feels that many of these expectations weren't truly about guiding or supporting him, but about ensuring her own comfort later in life. He also wrote that he was expected to get good grades and land a high-paying job, all so she could enjoy a comfortable, or even luxurious, lifestyle. He further shared, 'When I was in junior sec, before we got internet at home, I'd watch channel 8 drama with her, and whenever there's a relationship problem, she always said that this could have been avoided had the male character sought the opinion of his mother before starting the relationship.' 'Only women understand women, she said. And, during my uni years, she always pried on my texts, worried that I was dating someone she had not approved of.' 'They probably did not want me to experience what they did…' His post struck a chord with many Redditors who had grown up under similarly strict parenting. Some felt that, while their upbringing had been intense or even harsh at times, it ultimately came from a place of love and a deep desire to protect them from the struggles their parents once faced. One shared, 'Yes. Mum was what you would call these days a tiger mum. Made sure I did all my homework. And more. In hindsight, everything I enjoy today is thanks to my parents. This is Singapore, and education is probably the most straightforward path to social mobility. My parents grew up very poor. They knew what it was like to be poor. And to be poor in their generation is really no joke. We're talking about going hungry very often and being at the mercy of your landlord. So they probably did not want me to experience what they did.' Another shared, 'In retrospect, they did act in my best interest and then more often detrimental to their own well-being. Our parents were always hard on themselves, saving and keeping their expenses to a minimum, so we could have more. My mum was even apologetic that she and my dad could not leave us much of an inheritance. We had to repeatedly remind them to just spend when they need and not worry about that.' However, not everyone agreed with this sentiment. Others believed their parents were driven less by love and more by a need for control, obedience, or validation. To them, their own needs often took a backseat to their parents' expectations and ideals. One Redditor said, 'No, it was never what was good for me, but what they THOUGHT was good for me, based on their own lived experiences, including generational trauma.' Another wrote, 'I feel like there's a difference between wanting you to do your best for yourself and wanting for themselves. Mine didn't push me for me, she did it for herself and how she would be perceived.' In other news, a woman took to social media to express her frustration after her brother caused the family to lose over S$100,000 in a failed business venture. Posting anonymously on r/askSingapore on Thursday (June 12), she shared that her brother had convinced the family to invest in a promising company where his close friend was the CEO and where he himself had secured a well-paying job. Read more: 'We've lost more than S$100k': Singaporean woman says brother convinced family to invest in friend's failed business Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)

People Who Have Been In Relationships With The Super Wealthy Are Sharing Things They Learned
People Who Have Been In Relationships With The Super Wealthy Are Sharing Things They Learned

Yahoo

time2 days ago

  • Lifestyle
  • Yahoo

People Who Have Been In Relationships With The Super Wealthy Are Sharing Things They Learned

If you've ever dated someone from a different socio-economic class from the one you grew up in, it can be an eye-opening experience. Well, Redditor KoushunTakami asked, "Poor people who dated rich people, what did you learn?" Here's what people said. 1."I grew up in what I can only describe as the identical median income household and had a decent job (so not poor) but I dated a woman whom I met while she was in law school whose family was very rich. The subconscious expectations were overwhelming. I would plan a little surprise, and she would expect something like a trip to Europe. She wasn't trying to make me feel bad; her expectations were just so high from the world she grew up in." —chicagotim 2."That apparently $100k means nothing. My ex's dad literally offered to buy me a new Mercedes and have my old beater truck 'disposed of.'" —headhunterofhell2 3."I have a little money now, but once upon a time, I was a normal person doing well. One ex who was silly rich couldn't understand why I couldn't just take a couple of months off work two or three times a year." —Eckieflump 4."Back in the '90s, when we were teenagers, my cousin briefly dated a rich boy whose school was near the shopping center where she and her friends would hang out after school. For her sixteenth birthday, her parents bought her a really nice watch, and when she was showing it to him, he said, "I can't believe they didn't get you a car." Spent the day going on about the car he got for his 16th birthday, and how a watch was nothing. She was devastated, and they broke up a couple of weeks later." —Kalamac 5."They simply can't wrap their head around not having enough of everything at all times." —VNDMG 6."They expect you to live according to their lifestyle, even though you can't afford it." —JASPER933 7."They are often insulated from the experience of peasant life. I was working 12-hour shifts in an industrial kitchen, trying to save up enough for my next semester of college. Her friend (whose house had a fully stocked kitchen that only 'the staff' ever used) heard that I was working to pay for school and therefore could not take time off to go on a vacation. She took a moment to think about my situation, looked concerned with her furrowed brow, and then finally asked, 'Why don't you just tell your parents? School is a good thing, of course, they'll want to pay for that." —The_Swoley_Ghost 8."No matter how humble and rational one is, dating someone several tax brackets higher will test one's ego and self-worth." —Shahfluffers 9."Generally speaking, they can't cook well, but they somehow have the best kitchen gear." —azninvasion2000 10."That being rich makes some people not really learn to have to take responsibility for their actions. The girl I used to date lost like five thousand dollar phones in a couple of years, but her parents would always just immediately buy her a new one, so I kinda felt like she never learned from it." —jankoo 11."I learned that every family has similar issues. Rich people can just solve them quicker." —chillysaturday 12."I learned how to play golf. Her dad always wanted to chat with me about my future, plans, business opportunities, college choices, etc, and he always wanted to discuss these over a round of golf at the country club. I really hate golf." —headhunterofhell2 13."They will never truly be able to even begin to comprehend your struggles, and therefore, they will constantly dismiss and minimize your problems, which will lead you to be extremely frustrated. Trying to explain to someone that you can't afford to order takeout and need them to do their dishes right now so you can cook, while they are telling you to just order out and put it on a credit card. Most of the time, it's not worth the relationship." —Beneficial_Size6913 14."For pretty much any type of labor you can imagine, there is a service you can hire to do it." —moregloommoredoom 15."You can have all the money and the world and still have bad taste. He would offer me his card to go get stuff to make his 4,800-square-foot house feel like someone actually lived there. Otherwise, it just had sparse, ugly furniture and posters scattered around." —Ecstatic_Jackfruit35 16."An idiot with lots of money is still an idiot." —linjaaho 17."That good parents are better than rich parents." —swagerito 18."I learned that if you have issues and money, you can use that money to stop your kids from distancing themselves from you even slightly, by employing them in your business and paying them significantly more than they could ever get anywhere else, isolating them from friends and family and having a track record of 'if you cross me even slightly, you're dead to me.'" —Ishmael128 19."There's a huge difference in norms and what is acceptable or how things are handled. For example, a summer BBQ is a polo and slacks or fancy dress shorts event, not a t-shirt and shorts event." —magneticgumby 20."They have no idea how much anything costs, and they have no idea how much money anyone who isn't wealthy makes." —seanofkelley Do you have something to add? What is something you've learned from dating someone who had significantly more or less money than you did? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into the world of global news and events? Download our app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store