Latest news with #manchild
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Grown-Ass Men Reveal The Moment They Knew They Were A 'Manchild'
At the edge of a high school track, I watched my 11-year-old son Thomas' face drop as the announcer read out the long jump results. His event was already over. I'd asked his twin brother, Charlie, to check the meet schedule, and he'd given me the wrong time. I'd trusted an 11-year-old with something that was my responsibility as the adult. Thomas had trained for months. Now he stood there, trying not to cry, while other kids celebrated. What hit hardest wasn't just that Thomas missed his event. It was that I'd let both of my sons down. One missed an important event he'd trained for. The other was left carrying the blame. And both of those outcomes were on me. That moment revealed a pattern I was reluctant to face. Even though I was divorced with 50/50 custody, I often treated parenting as a task I could delegate. I was trying too hard to be liked. I wanted to be the fun dad, not the firm one — and that meant avoiding some of the more mundane or difficult responsibilities. I kept acting like their friend when what my kids needed was a responsible adult. What I was doing is known as being a 'manchild,' a term used to describe men who avoid responsibility at home through procrastination, deflection or feigned ignorance. Men often say they are 'just not good at multitasking' or that their partner is 'better at organizing,' but the outcome is the same. One person ends up doing the emotional and logistical heavy lifting while the other waits for direction. This dynamic I experienced reflects a broader cultural conversation about men avoiding responsibility. Sabrina Carpenter's viral summer hit 'Manchild,' which has inspired dances, discourse and social media buzz, calls out grown men behaving like children. Though aimed at a past relationship, the song echoes a broader frustration with men dodging responsibility at home. The pattern of feigned ignorance is familiar to family therapists. 'They pretend they aren't aware of things that most people with kids would have on their radar, like needing a teacher gift at the end of school,' Bonnie Scott, a licensed professional counselor at Mindful Kindness Counseling, told HuffPost. These habits can follow men for years, but some are forced to grow up fast. When Man-Children Are Responsible For Real Children Rene Garcia, now the owner and lead clinician at Garcia Mental Health, learned he was going to be a father at 23 while still in college. 'My first daughter was unplanned, and I had not graduated from college yet. I desperately wanted to be a support for her and felt powerless on how to do so.' Garcia's biggest challenge was confronting his inconsistency. 'I'm awesome at goal setting, but following through is different. You become unreliable and someone people don't trust. This destroys relationships with kids and partners.' The deeper issue was internal: 'Change makes you challenge things in yourself you have purposefully pushed down, possibly out of protection. What pushed me was wanting to stop the same patterns from happening over and over again.' He was confronting parts of himself he had ignored for years, and the cost of continuing old patterns had become impossible to ignore. While Garcia's awakening came through early parenthood, other men face their limitations during crisis. Thomas Westerholtz, a therapist and father, experienced his turning point when his son was diagnosed with a rare and life-limiting medical condition. 'When your child is fighting for their life, you can't hide behind performance. I realized I was 'doing' a lot — working, showing up — but not always emotionally present with my family. I wasn't holding space for fear, grief or everyday vulnerability.' 'I used to quietly assume my partner would manage the emotional temperature of the household, birthdays, school forms, noticing when our kid was off. I wasn't actively avoiding it, but I wasn't owning it either. That left her burnt out and feeling alone.' When It's Time To Grow Up For men ready to change course, the hardest question they need to ask themselves, according to parenting psychologist Reena B. Patel, is whether they get defensive when asked to take responsibility. 'That defensiveness is usually a sign that you know you're not pulling your weight,' she said. Other warning signs include expecting partners to handle the majority of emotional labor and avoiding tasks until someone else steps in. Scott said the first step is uncomfortable but simple: 'Approach your partner and say, 'I want to make sure I'm doing my part in managing our life together. Could we sit together and talk about something like the weekly schedule?'' The goal isn't to take over but to participate with genuine interest. Planning was Garcia's breakthrough: 'PLAN! I never used to plan anything. Now, if I don't write it down or put it on my calendar, it won't happen.' Letting go of pride was the first hurdle Westerholtz had to face. 'Feeling useless at first' was the hardest part, he said. 'Vulnerability isn't something most men are trained in. I had to learn not to jump to fixing, but to actually be with pain or mess: my own and others'.' Westerholtz now checks in weekly with his partner and uses a shared calendar with reminders like 'pack lunch' and 'doctor follow-up.' 'Visibility equals responsibility,' he said. These changes have brought broader impacts. 'There's less resentment. More tenderness. My partner doesn't have to mother me, and that makes space for partnership,' Westerholtz said. The change has also shaped how their son understands masculinity: 'I also see my son learning not just how to survive, but how to be a man who feels, apologizes, and holds others with care.' Consistency became the turning point in Garcia's relationship with his daughter, but it required moving beyond traditional activities. 'Being intentional with our time, and not just taking her to dinners or baseball games, but getting to know her personally, has built a relationship between us that is indescribable,' Garcia said. When Garcia volunteered as a WATCH D.O.G. (Dads of Great Students), seeing his daughter light up when he showed up for lunch made her feel supported at school and among friends. What Kind Of Man Do You Want To Be? These fathers are consciously breaking generational patterns. For Westerholtz, this transformation meant redefining what it means to be a man for his son. 'Before, I think I believed being a man meant protecting, fixing and staying strong. Now I think it's about being present, especially when things are messy.' He tells his son it's OK to feel scared or sad, and that real strength means talking about emotions instead of shutting down: 'We talk about emotions like weather. They pass, but you don't need to pretend it's sunny when it's not.' This shift in emotional openness extends beyond family. In his male friendships, Westerholtz brings the same vulnerability. 'It used to be all banter and distraction, surface-level. But when I started being real about how hard things were with my son's health, I found that most men were relieved. Like they'd been waiting for someone to go first.' As he puts it: 'Vulnerability invites connection, not just with our partners, but with our mates too.' Patel notes that children benefit directly when fathers develop emotional maturity. 'They model respect, empathy and resilience skills that their children will carry into adulthood. Partners also feel more supported, less stressed and free to be individuals, not caretakers for another adult.' The 'manchild' label stings because it highlights a gap between how men see themselves and how they actually show up. Like Garcia and Westerholtz, I'm learning to show up differently for my sons. I need to be a father who is sometimes a friend, not a friend who is sometimes a father. That track meet taught me the hard way. Now, I check every appointment, every schedule, every exam and essay due date. Nothing has been missed since. My sons are 18 now, and my habit of double-checking everything still annoys them. But I would rather that than let them down again. As Westerholtz put it: 'You're not less of a man for softening. You're just becoming less of a boy.' Related... How To Avoid Being The 'Angry Dad' — Even If That's The Kind Of Father You Had Sabrina Carpenter Fans Are Fuming Over Her 'Degrading' New Album Artwork I'm A Gender Researcher & This Is The Real Reason Women Are Stepping Away From Dating & Relationships Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
16-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
No one wants to date a ‘man-child' — here's how to avoid them, according to dating expert
Leave it to Sabrina Carpenter's latest single to make the term 'man-child' mainstream, especially in the dating world. The term is pretty self-explanatory. It describes a man with childlike qualities: think emotionally immature men who most likely can't be a supportive partner — everything a woman would most likely swipe left on while scrolling a dating app. Luckily, dating app Hily relationship expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, shared with the Daily Mail the tell-tale signs to be on the lookout for if you're either trying to avoid dating a man-child or wondering if you're already committed to one. One way to figure out a person's emotional maturity is to pay attention to how they handle conflict in their life. 'Do they have some solid coping strategies? Or do they just kind of wing it?' Cohen said. 'Their answer can tell you a lot — like if they're self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not).' Another indicator if a potential suitor is a man-child or not is if you can decipher whethey they did the work on themselves by going to therapy and learning tools to self-soothe. By asking them about this, 'You'll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,' the expert explained to the outlet. It's also important to vet a person by asking about their accomplishments and what they're most proud of. 'This two-parter is a super easy way to get the lowdown on your match,' Cohen said. 'You'll hear about their big wins and how they handled any curveballs along the way.' When talking about past relationships, rather than asking the basic questions like 'When was your last relationship?' or 'Why did you end things?' — instead ask what the person learned from them. This milion dollar question will reveal a lot about a person. 'Basically, you're seeing if they've taken time to reflect, process the ups and downs, and figure out how to do better next time,' the expert explained. 'It's not about perfection — just about being real and ready to grow.' Another indicator that a guy is immature is if he has this one specific line in his dating app. When revealing his height upfront, if a guy's dating app profile says 'because apparently that matters' — run for the hills. 'They're making a presumption about what all women want and painting us with the same passive-aggressive brush,' Cosmopolitan's associate sex and relationships editor Kayla Kibbe said in a recent essay. 'The belief these men are responding to isn't totally unfounded,' she conceded, '[but] the height standard to which many men seem to feel subjected is not one that was devised by women but rather one imposed on us all by internalized patriarchal beliefs.' Yes, women oftentimes use height to filter out potential matches, experts warn that it could lead many to a life of loneliness. Judith Gottesman, a matchmaker and dating coach, told The Post that 'what matters is the connection you have and that you respect, trust and love each other.'
Daily Mail
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Are YOU dating a manchild? Relationship expert reveals questions you can ask to find out
Sabrina Carpenter released a very-pointed new song entitled Manchild last week, in which she sings about a 'useless' and 'stupid' guy. It came on the one-year anniversary of her hit Please Please Please, where she begs who we can only assume was then-boyfriend Barry Keoghan (who made a cameo in the music video) not to embarrass her. In her latest release, she pokes fun at the way the 'manchild' dresses, says 'half his brain just ain't there,' and accuses him of always seeking her out despite her not choosing him. And while 'manchild' may not be a scientific term, dating app Hily relationship expert Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD explained that it is a very real thing - often used to describe an emotionally immature person. 'A manchild acts more like a child as opposed to an individual his own age,' Dr. Cohen told 'In especially problematic scenarios, the manchild may be intentionally acting in an incompetent manner so as to evoke the need for their partner's care.' She went on to explain that more than actual incompetence, a partner who depicts the traits of a 'manchild' usually does so as a manipulation tactic. So how can you tell if your partner is emotionally immature before you get too involved? And how do you differentiate between a man and a manchild? Dr. Cohen suggested asking your partner these questions. How do you deal with tough moments? People often say, 'If you don't want me at my worst, you don't deserve my at my best.' But just how bad are those 'worst' moments? Dr. Cohen explained that assessing how your partner deals with setbacks and losses can be a big indicator of their emotional maturity. 'Do they have some solid coping strategies? Or do they just kind of wing it?' she encouraged people to consider. 'Their answer can tell you a lot - like if they're self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not).' If it seems like they're always bailing when things get tough, they might just do the same thing during arguments or hardships in the relationship. What does self-care mean to you? In Carpenter's song, she sings, 'Never heard of self care,' in reference to the 'manchild.' Dr. Cohen said asking about your partner's self-care routine can actually help you better understand how they take care of themselves - which will in turn tell you a lot more. 'You'll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,' Dr. Cohen said. 'It's a pretty simple question, but it says a lot!' A mature partner should take the time to really think about their needs - not give you whatever cookie-cutter answer they believe you're looking for. What are you most proud of? And how did you make it happen? 'This two-parter is a super easy way to get the lowdown on your match,' Dr. Cohen explained. 'You'll hear about their big wins and how they handled any curveballs along the way.' She also said that you'll get a better sense of whether your partner is capable of rolling with the punches. And most importantly, it can show you just how ambitious they are - not just about their career but about their life. If your partner can't think of something they're proud of it's an indicator that they've never really aimed for anything - and odds are you don't want a partner who lacks ambition. What have you learned from your past relationships that's helped you grow as a person? According to the expert, this is one of the best way's to get a sense of how much self-awareness your partner has going on. Do they immediately jump to calling their ex 'crazy' or do they admit that there were times they could have shown up better as a partner? 'Basically, you're seeing if they've taken time to reflect, process the ups and downs, and figure out how to do better next time,' Dr. Cohen said. 'It's not about perfection - just about being real and ready to grow.' If they blame their exes for everything or say they've learned nothing, odds are they're not very emotionally mature. What are your current goals? This may feel like an interview question, but it can provide great insight as to where your partner sees their life going. Dr. Cohen said that it doesn't matter if they talk about their five-year plans or just their New Year resolution like making more time for friends or picking up a new hobby. She explained that there are no right answers. 'It's just a chill way to see what's on their mind, how they set goals, and what they're into right now,' she said. 'Plus, you get a peek at how they think about things - no pressure, just good vibes.' But if you see that your partner is giving super vague answers and hasn't thought much about their future, odds are they won't know how to build one with you.
AsiaOne
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- AsiaOne
Sabrina Carpenter to release album titled Man's Best Friend on Aug 29, Entertainment News
Sabrina Carpenter will release the album Man's Best Friend on August 29. The prolific pop star is set to release the follow-up to Short n' Sweet almost exactly a year later. Sabrina shocked fans by standing on all fours in front of a man pulling her hair on the racy artwork, with the cover dividing opinion. However, one fan defending the Espresso hitmaker suggested she was poking fun at the fact people said: "she's for the male gaze". They wrote on X: "I've already seen enough so i gotta explain this cover cuz apparently y'all are acting dense: 'Man's Best Friend' is a phrase referring to a DOG. Sabrina is obviously portraying it on the cover referring to how all of you said she's for the "male gaze". This is how YOU see her. (sic)" The album will include the lead single, Manchild, which upon its release, Sabrina thanked "men for testing me". The 26-year-old singer explained that Manchild — which she co-wrote with Jack Antonoff and Amy Allen — is "the mental montage to the very confusing and fun young adult years of life". She penned on Instagram upon the song's release: "I wrote manchild on a random Tuesday with Amy and jack not too long after finishing short n' sweet and it ended up being the best random Tuesday of my life "Not only was it so fun to write, but this song became to me something I can look back on that will score the mental montage to the very confusing and fun young adult years of life. "It sounds like the song embodiment of a loving eye roll and it feels like a never-ending road trip in the summer! hence why i wanted to give it to you now- so you can stick your head out the car window and scream it all summer long! "Thank you always and forever for listening." There has been much speculation about which of her exes the song is about, with Saltburn actor Barry Keoghan's name mentioned a lot. Sabrina's Grammy-winning Short n' Sweet album was followed by February's deluxe edition, which featured a duet of Please Please Please with Dolly Parton and a new song called Busy Woman. [[nid:718892]]
Perth Now
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Perth Now
Sabrina Carpenter shocks fans with Man's Best Friend album artwork
Sabrina Carpenter will release the album Man's Best Friend on August 29. The prolific pop star is set to release the follow-up to Short n' Sweet almost exactly a year later. Sabrina shocked fans by standing on all fours in front of a man pulling her hair on the racy artwork, with the cover dividing opinion. However, one fan defending the Espresso hitmaker suggested she was poking fun at the fact people said "she's for the male gaze". They wrote on X: "I've already seen enough so i gotta explain this cover cuz apparently y'all are acting dense: 'Man's Best Friend' is a phrase referring to a DOG. Sabrina is obviously portraying it on the cover referring to how all of you said she's for the "male gaze'. this is how YOU see her. (sic)" The album will include the lead single, Manchild, which upon its release, Sabrina thanked "men for testing me". The 26-year-old singer explained that Manchild - which she co-wrote with Jack Antonoff and Amy Allen - is "the mental montage to the very confusing and fun young adult years of life." She penned on Instagram upon the song's release: "i wrote manchild on a random tuesday with amy and jack not too long after finishing short n' sweet and it ended up being the best random tuesday of my life "not only was it so fun to write, but this song became to me something I can look back on that will score the mental montage to the very confusing and fun young adult years of life. "it sounds like the song embodiment of a loving eye roll and it feels like a never ending road trip in the summer ! hence why i wanted to give it to you now- so you can stick your head out the car window and scream it all summer long! "thank you always and forever for listening and thank you men for testing me! (sic)" There has been much speculation about which of her exes the song is about, with Saltburn actor Barry Keoghan's name mentioned a lot. Sabrina's Grammy-winning Short n' Sweet album was followed by February's deluxe edition, which featured a duet of Please Please Please with Dolly Parton and a new song called Busy Woman.
