Latest news with #orgasm
The Guardian
a day ago
- Health
- The Guardian
I'm delighted with my 45-minute erections – but why are my orgasms such a letdown?
I am a man in my 60s. When my wife and I have sex, I can keep it up (as it were) for 45 minutes, including about 20 minutes of coitus. All of which I enjoy very much. The problem in recent years is my orgasm. When it arrives, it is a bit of a letdown. It happens extremely quickly and feels like a premature ejaculation, even though it has taken a long time to get there. It makes no difference whether I am on top and in charge of the pace or whether my wife is. How can I make my orgasms more enjoyable? Certain medications – whether prescription or over-the-counter – can change the nature of one's orgasm, so consider whether the culprit could be in your medicine cabinet. If this is a possibility, you should consult with the prescribing physician to find out if there might be an alternative. Another element to investigate is whether your hormones might have something to do with it. For example, you might ask a doctor to look at your testosterone levels. Strong orgasms are fuelled partly by sex hormones such as testosterone, and an insufficiency could lead to the symptoms you are experiencing. Finally, I can tell that you are proud of your sexual prowess, but it might be a good idea to relax a bit on the expectations you set for yourself. A person usually has a better orgasm when they are able to let go of performance pressure. Try to focus simply on pleasure. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
The Guardian
23-07-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
After 15 years of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, will I ever satisfy my wife?
I am a 48-year-old man. Both my wife and I come from a conservative background; we believe that sex before marriage is a sin and saved ourselves until we got married in our early 30s. Before getting married, I masturbated but never had any real sex. Our first night turned out to be a disaster. I couldn't get an erection. However, as the days passed, we managed to have sex but not to my wife's satisfaction, because I finished within 30 seconds of penetration. I think I suffer from both erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE). My ED is not consistent – I have been prescribed Viagra and use it sometimes – but my PE continues, and is taking a toll on us. My wife is uninterested in sex because she doesn't get anything out of it. It has been about 15 years now and we have two kids but our sex life has not improved. I tried couples counselling but that was more about building a bond between us (which I believe is not an issue as we love each other and can't think about being with someone else). The only missing piece in our life is satisfying sex. I would do anything to satisfy my wife but I am feeling helpless. This may seem radical to you, but a woman does not need a penis in order to be satisfied. I recommend that you learn how to give her an orgasm before you penetrate her. There are many places to find instruction about doing this, but basically you need to learn where her clitoris is and how you can touch her in an arousing and ultimately satisfying manner. Embarking on this type of exploration may seem daunting but if you can approach it as a loving couple you may be successful. Of course, your wife will have to be willing to work on this, so you will have to talk to her first and be sure she consents. The best way forward would really be to work as a couple with a good sex therapist, who could also treat your early ejaculation. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
The Guardian
22-07-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
After 15 years of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, will I ever satisfy my wife?
I am a 48-year-old man. Both my wife and I come from a conservative background; we believe that sex before marriage is a sin and saved ourselves until we got married in our early 30s. Before getting married, I masturbated but never had any real sex. Our first night turned out to be a disaster. I couldn't get an erection. However, as the days passed, we managed to have sex but not to my wife's satisfaction, because I finished within 30 seconds of penetration. I think I suffer from both erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE). My ED is not consistent – I have been prescribed Viagra and use it sometimes – but my PE continues, and is taking a toll on us. My wife is uninterested in sex because she doesn't get anything out of it. It has been about 15 years now and we have two kids but our sex life has not improved. I tried couples counselling but that was more about building a bond between us (which I believe is not an issue as we love each other and can't think about being with someone else). The only missing piece in our life is satisfying sex. I would do anything to satisfy my wife but I am feeling helpless. This may seem radical to you, but a woman does not need a penis in order to be satisfied. I recommend that you learn how to give her an orgasm before you penetrate her. There are many places to find instruction about doing this, but basically you need to learn where her clitoris is and how you can touch her in an arousing and ultimately satisfying manner. Embarking on this type of exploration may seem daunting but if you can approach it as a loving couple you may be successful. Of course, your wife will have to be willing to work on this, so you will have to talk to her first and be sure she consents. The best way forward would really be to work as a couple with a good sex therapist, who could also treat your early ejaculation. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to (please don't send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
WIRED
14-07-2025
- Entertainment
- WIRED
Le Wand's Dive Is One of My Favorite Sex Toys of the Year
I once had a boyfriend who, after watching me orgasm so quickly and so strongly with a vibrator, looked at me mournfully and said, 'Now women will never need men again.' We were both 25 at the time and inexperienced, and not just sexually. I haven't thought about him or that conversation in years, but after the new Le Wand Dive brought me to orgasm pretty much on contact, the memory came back to me. He was right, after all: No one with a vulva needs a man for anything, especially a clitoral orgasm. My favorite bullet vibrator is the Le Wand Deux, so I have plenty of experience with the company's sex toys, but nothing could have prepared me for the Dive. Off-the-Charts Intense Courtesy of Le Wand When I first encounter a vibrator, I always go through the vibration intensities in my hand before anything else. While testing a vibrator against your nose is the best way to figure out if the settings are strong enough (or too strong) for your clitoral satisfaction, I've tried so many vibrators that I can gauge their strength fairly well with a grip. I do this as a way to give myself a heads up as to just how powerful something is before I use it on my clitoris. Maybe the other wands I have in my collection have exhausted themselves with time and use, but when I cranked the Dive to its top intensity (there are 10), the vibrations were so strong that I could feel them up my arm, across my chest, and into my jaw. Even 20 minutes after this brief test round, my hand was still feeling the effects and struggling to shake the tingling away. I tend to be a glutton for high-intensity vibrators on my vulva, so I'm so happy I did this first. With this necessary information about its power in mind, I eased my way into the Dive during my first time, taking on each intensity slowly, although you have the option to hold down the (+) button and take it from zero to 60 in seconds. I couldn't get past the fourth intensity without completely caving and having an immediate orgasm. I was equally shocked, impressed, and confused. But most importantly, feeling so amazing and practically enlightened—thank you, oxytocin!—that I briefly thought I could solve all the world's problems. But because the Dive isn't just splashproof but fully submersible, I knew I was just getting started, and the world would have to wait. Underwater Fun Courtesy of Le Wand I've never really been into sexual activities that involve water. I learned after my first few forays into pool sex that water washes away natural lube, so my mind has categorized sexual pleasure and water separately. However, with the Dive being waterproof, I had to unlearn what I knew.
The Sun
06-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
I'm convinced my tiny penis was to blame for girlfriend dumping me – now I'm terrified to have sex with my new lover
WHEN I think back to the best sex I've had, it's not the size of the pecker I remember, it's the whole package. It's the guys who took their time, who slowed things down and explored me from head to toe. The ones who genuinely cared about my pleasure and wanted to understand what really turned me on. They might not have been blessed with the biggest kit, but they knew exactly how to use the tools they'd been given. You may recognise me from some of the steamy stories I've covered over the years - from hush-hush high society sex soirees in Venice to entering an orgasm contest in New York to mark the 30th anniversary of When Harry Met Sally. I'm The Sun's Sexpert, and now I'm launching a new no-holds-barred sex series to answer YOUR biggest bedroom conundrums, sharing my wild real-life experiences and practical tips to help you fulfil your wildest dreams between the sheets. If you're struggling in the sack, hiding a secret kink or want any other advice, be sure to send in your sex conundrums using the form above. Here I kick off by helping a reader out with an, ahem, small problem... Q: I'm quite a big guy (6ft 2) so women always expect me to be well endowed, but my penis size is just 3.5 inches when erect. Whenever I meet a woman I like, I start to dread getting it on as I'm worried I'm going to be a total flop. I'm convinced my last serious relationship broke down because of the size of my manhood. What's more, I don't think I've ever given a woman an orgasm. Some exes admitted to faking it to spare my feelings. Now, if I meet a woman I like, I end up ghosting her before sex as I can't handle the thought of disappointing her. I had a vagina makeover including a 'vampire' lift & infamous 'O-shot'...it's transformed me from a knackered mum of two to sex goddess having best orgasms of my life Is there a way I can still be a good lover when I'm not blessed downstairs? Georgie says: Contrary to common belief, you don't need to be hung like a porn star to rock a woman's world. When it comes to actual pleasure, technique trumps size every time. And here's the science bit. The average penis size is around 5.1 inches, and the vaginal canal is roughly 3 to 4 inches deep - so anything much bigger is actually a bit of a waste. That said, if you're short on inches and worried about hitting the spot there are lots of clever tips and tricks you can do to maximise contact and boost pleasure. Because in the end, it's not the size of the ship - it's whether you know how to steer it… Be present When you're fully in the moment, you're more in tune with your own body - and your partner's. You can read their reactions, adjust your touch, pace, and position, and make everything feel more intense and pleasurable. One of my worst sexual encounters? With a ridiculously hot guy who was well above average… but who actually took a phone call mid-session! Yes really! I had big expectations but despite his pornstar package, he was a total flop. So here's the deal: turn off your phone - and turn on your partner instead. Being present isn't just polite - it's one of the sexiest, most essential ingredients for great sex. Use the 10:5:10 foreplay rule A whopping 75 per cent of women won't orgasm from penetrative sex alone, so it's time to prioritise your starters before diving into the main course. Enter the 10:5:10 foreplay rule – a simple but seriously effective formula that always leaves me begging for more. And no, you don't need a stopwatch to do it. First 10 minutes: Focus on everything above the neck. That means deep kissing, lip biting, hair pulling, nibbling earlobes – basically, hitting all those glorious erogenous zones that get her mind and body in sync. Next 5 minutes: Move south, from neck to belly button. Nipple play is key here – with 82 per cent of women reporting increased arousal from stimulation, it's a guaranteed way to ramp things up. Final 10 minutes: Now comes the grand finale – all the attention below the navel. This is clitoral central, so use your hands, your mouth, or bring in a toy to tease, tantalise and truly take your time. Meet our sexpert In her eight years at The Sun, there's not much our Georgie hasn't seen - or done - and she's loved every outrageous minute. "People often ask how I became a sexpert," she says. "Well, I've been fascinated by sex and relationships for as long as I can remember. "As a teen, I devoured women's mags full of scandalous confessions and steamy tips - and I was obsessed with Sex and the City. "Maybe I was manifesting my inner Carrie Bradshaw from day one. "I'd always dreamed of working at The Sun - and when I finally landed the job, I found my niche fast: going to sex parties and oversharing about my frequently chaotic love life. "Over the years, I've built real trust within the kink and swinging community and I've interviewed hundreds of people about their sex lives. "Add to that my own, um, 'field research,' and let's just say I know what makes good sex great." Georgie says being a sexpert is about having life experience, curiosity, a sense of humour - and plenty of adventures along the way. "There's not much that shocks me these days," she continues. "Except maybe a man who doesn't believe in foreplay. "But nothing makes me happier than hearing a reader say my advice helped them feel more confident (and satisfied) in bed. "Now I'll be answering your burning sex questions - and dishing out practical advice to help get you back in the saddle." Invest in a sex cushion I'll never forget the moment an ex - let's call him Mark - whipped out this inflatable sex cushion and started blowing it up. I won't lie, it didn't look like the sexiest contraption, but looks can definitely be deceiving. What really stuck with me was how Mark owned the fact he was below average and wasn't afraid to try something innovative to up his bedroom game. One of my worst sexual encounters? A guy who answered a phone call mid-session! Georgie Culley And honestly? He was on to something. The humble sex cushion is one of the greatest inventions ever. It helps you master nearly every position by supporting your body at just the right angles, so you get deeper thrusts and longer, stronger orgasms. There are loads of sex aids out there, ranging from £17 to well over £100, but this one from Amazon is a winner - and it's priced at £42.99. Try the pairing technique A helping hand – so to speak – during sex can make all the difference when it comes to helping a woman cross the finish line. While vaginal penetration alone isn't enough for most women to orgasm, adding clitoral stimulation – whether with fingers or a toy – can significantly boost both the likelihood and intensity of climax. This technique is known as 'pairing', and so many women tell how it's a total gamechanger for them. One standout toy that's firmly in my top drawer? Ann Summer's Moregasm+ Clit Stim. Made from silky silicone that moulds beautifully to your body, it's the perfect shape to slip between you during sex — without getting in the way. Best bit? It stays on target, even when things get really steamy. Improve hip flexibility You don't need to be a gymnast to level up your sex life — but improving your hip flexibility could seriously elevate your bedroom game. Being a bit bendier between the sheets allows for deeper penetration, smoother thrusting and more adventurous positions without the awkward cramping. The hip flexor stretch is a simple exercise to help open your hips. Kneel on one knee, with the other foot in front at a 90-degree angle. Gently push your hips forward to stretch the front of your hip. Hold for 30 seconds each side. Mix up your positions 5 Doggy style is a classic for a reason and my go-to position if a guy isn't that well endowed. That's because it allows for deep penetration, so you can make the most of what you've got. To do it, have your partner on all fours - or for even deeper sensations, on their elbows and knees - while you enter from behind. It's also great for pairing with a hand or a toy for extra pleasure. Elevated reverse cowgirl is a twist on the usual. Your partner straddles you, but instead of facing you, they face away - towards your feet. To give you extra depth, pop a pillow under your hips. You'll be lying back on the bed or floor, while they sit on top, facing away, riding you. The flatiron might sound like a hair tool, but it's also a sizzling sex position. Have your girlfriend lie flat on their front, legs squeezed together. Add a pillow under her pelvis to lift her hips slightly. You then lie on top and enter from behind. The tightness of her thighs ups the friction and sensation - and helps both of you feel every inch.
