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Yahoo
30-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Tell Us The Extremely Subtle Signs That A Marriage Won't Last
You might be familiar with the obvious "red flags" that a couple might be headed for divorce, but sometimes, there are super subtle signs that no one would expect. So, we want to hear your thoughts: What are the tiny, overlooked signs that a marriage won't last? Related: Like, maybe a couple who never, ever argue or disagree seem to be perfectly fine — but in reality, it can be a sign of a lack of communication or avoiding confrontation, which can build resentment over time. Related: Perhaps you're a marriage counselor or relationship expert, and you've noticed that couples who aren't curious about each other — including their emotions, thoughts, interests, and desires — have a more superficial marriage that doesn't stand the test of time. Maybe you think a subtle sign a couple might not last is when they excessively post about their marriage on social media — as if they spend more time trying to convince others that their life is perfect when there might be more going on behind the scenes. Related: Or perhaps you think a couple who prioritize other people — even family members or close friends — over each other might be headed for divorce. Based on your experience, what are the subtle or tiny signs a marriage won't last? (And be sure to explain why you feel that way.) Share your response in the comments, or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below. Your response could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post. Related: Also in Community: Also in Community: Also in Community:
Yahoo
30-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
You're Not Being Ghosted. You're Just Addicted To 'The Ping.'
No one likes being ghosted. But what if you're not actually being ghosted? What if the other person is genuinely just…busy? But someone being busy and feeling ghosted can often feel like the same thing when dating in a culture that expects instant responses. As Monica Berg, relationship expert and author of 'Rethink Love,' explains: 'For many of us, especially those with anxious attachment patterns that were formed in early childhood, a pause in connection can feel like abandonment — not because it's the reality of the situation, but because it reminds us of old feelings and stories.' When we're in the early stages of love, we're flooded with cortisol, dopamine and all the chemical chaos that makes infatuation feel urgent and obsessive (the feeling of 'butterflies,' for example). Layer in those unresolved attachment stories from childhood, and suddenly we're reliving them in real time. 'If we believe we're 'not enough' or that 'everyone abandons me,' then even a delayed text can feel like confirmation of those beliefs,' Berg said. How Instant Text Gratification Messes With Your Head While dating apps can often feel like 'The Hunger Games,' and no one wants to waste time or emotional investment on a swipe, this obsession with immediate responses from someone who is essentially a stranger can create unrealistic expectations for many single people. It dismisses the reality that the other person may have their own schedule, priorities or boundaries, none of which are necessarily a reflection of how they feel about you. Still, the absence of a ping on your phone can trigger a defensive response: 'He can't be that busy. He must not be into me,' or 'I don't want someone too busy to text me.' 'The constant accessibility of modern communication — texts, DMs, voice notes, read receipts — creates the illusion that we should always be available,' Berg said. 'Especially in new relationships, this immediacy can feel intoxicating at first: They messaged again! They're thinking of me! But very quickly, it can become anxiety-inducing and even addictive,' she explains. But that reaction, Berg adds, often reinforces a cycle of emotional dependence on the ping itself. The dopamine hit we get when someone we like — or think we like — texts us back becomes the metric for our self-worth. Receiving texts and notifications triggers a dopamine hit — the neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure and infatuation. Pairing the constant contact with the consistent dopamine can make 'us feel a false sense of intimacy, when real trust and intimacy evolves over time,' Berg said. 'Instead, we can find ourselves diving headfirst into emotional enmeshment,' Berg adds. 'Boundaries — both energetic and emotional — become blurred, and we're starting off in codependency, fantasy and expectation.' Psychologically, she said, this sets us up for attachment dysregulation. 'Our nervous systems become hijacked by anticipation, constantly scanning for connection or perceived rejection, and we are caught in an infatuation loop that will inevitably end — whether we end up together or not.' Building on this, psychotherapist Israa Nasir explains how the dopamine feedback loop in texting and dating apps specifically keeps us focused on external rewards ― likes, replies, matches ― rather than turning inward to consider if we truly like the person. 'When we rely on external validation (like someone texting back, matching with us, or complimenting us) we're outsourcing our sense of self-worth to others,' she explains. 'These moments of approval trigger dopamine spikes, reinforcing the idea that we are only 'OK' when someone else chooses us.' The more we rely on others for reassurance, Nasir adds, the less we develop and trust our own internal coping mechanisms. Which means when someone doesn't text back, 'the brain interprets it as a threat, triggering anxiety, self-doubt and shame. This keeps us in a reactive loop, instead of a grounded state.' Nasir also points out that dating apps are deliberately 'gamified,' designed like slot machines to maximize user engagement, not necessarily emotional well-being. 'This behavioral design wires us for compulsive checking and distorted thinking patterns, making it harder to form secure, healthy connections.' Making Peace With The Lack Of 'Ping' So what should you do if you feel panicked or dysregulated when you don't hear back from a romantic interest within a certain timeframe? Berg recommends seeing the trigger as an invitation to grow. 'When that familiar panic sets in, the first thing to do is pause. Breathe. Call it out. You might even say out loud, 'Here is my old story. I feel it, but I know it's not real.' From here, you can now challenge the story instead of letting it run the show. I often say that we don't have control over our first thought, but we do have control over our second.' Berg admits that challenging these habitual, negative thought patterns is a skill that is required in any phase of a relationship but especially in these early moments. 'It can also help us to remember that love, real love, isn't built in instant replies — it's built in trust, in patience, in spiritual growth.' And remember that a pause in communication isn't always a rejection. 'Often, it's just life,' Berg said. 'Our lives are so fast-paced and busy. What's more important is the work of learning to regulate and soothe our own nervous systems, not outsource our peace of mind or our sense of worth to someone else's response times. This is the shift from what I call 'reactive interest' to 'conscious interest.' And it's where real connection begins.' Nasir offers practical guidance on navigating the ambiguity of digital communication, including differentiating between whether someone is actually ghosting you or simply someone needing space or living their life offline. 'Track patterns, not moments: Look at their overall communication habits. Were they consistently responsive before, or had replies already started slowing down? Consider time and context: If it's been a few hours or even a day, they may just be living life offline,' she explains. 'Ghosting typically involves a sudden, complete drop-off with no explanation over an extended period (usually a week or more).' If you suspect you're really being ghosted, Nasir suggests asking directly, once. 'If you're unsure, it's OK to check in with a grounded message. If there's no response after that, it's information, not necessarily personal failure.' When nothing is guaranteed in love or life and when dating feels like it's doing more harm than good now more than ever, Nasir further emphasizes the importance of building emotional resilience. 'The most important thing is to make sure your entire life is not centered on romance or dating,' she said. 'Reduce time doom-scrolling or waiting for a ping. Instead, engage in meaningful, self-affirming activities: friendships, hobbies, creativity, solo travel or dining, rest. These fill your emotional reserves and make dating feel like a part of life, not the whole thing.' She also recommends building in regular check-ins with yourself after interactions: 'How did I feel? Did I show up as myself? This centers your experience, rather than obsessing over theirs. Practice sitting with discomfort—like the unknown of a delayed reply — without reacting impulsively. Use grounding tools like breath work, movement, or journaling to stay present. This rewires your nervous system to see uncertainty as tolerable, not dangerous.' As Berg puts it: 'The goal of a relationship is not constant contact or infinite good feelings — it's real connection, which can only occur slowly over time.' Related... This 1 iPhone Setting Might Be Messing With Your Friendships A Woman On TikTok Calls These Strange Dating Behaviors 'Princess Treatment.' But Experts Aren't So Sure. 'Slow Burn' Is Trending On Dating Apps Right Now — But It Might Not Mean What You Think Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In
What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In originally appeared on Parade. Plenty of dating and relationship terms are buzzwords nowadays, like dry-begging and gaslighting. Unfortunately, they are usually signs of unhealthy relationships, or at worst, abusive ones. But today, we're going to dive into a relationship term that explains a way of interacting with others in a (mostly!) positive way. It's 'mirroring.' So, what is mirroringbehavior, and how can it potentially help take your relationship to the next level? Is it good or actually bad? This term refers to body language, speech and more, and it can be either a positive or negative, depending on the psychologists explain what mirroring is, what it looks like, how it can foster connection and the one sneaky way it can be 6 Things Successful People *Always* Do in a Conversation, According to a Neuropsychotherapist The mirroring definition is pretty straightforward: 'Mirroring involves the imitation of another person's behaviors or expressions,' says Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a relationship expert at the dating app Hilly. She gives the example of friends engaging in each other's mannerisms or pronouncing words the same way. There's also copying someone's tone to be congruent, or reflecting their facial expressions when they share a story. This shows empathy and builds though it might sound the same or similar in theory, mirroring is different from mocking; mirroring is genuine: you feel what the other person is feeling, and that's what can be so meaningful. 'When mirroring occurs between two individuals, it usually means that they're both experiencing similar feelings and attitudes about whatever circumstance is at hand,' says , a clinical psychologist and relationship expert at RAW dating app. 'On the other hand, intentionally imitating another person can be an offensive act, causing the other person to feel mocked or teased.'While mirroring is usually a good thing, it's not always used in a healthy, positive way. 'This can be manipulative if not genuine,' Dr. Cohen says. 'For example, if you start to mirror someone's mannerisms so as to deceive them into thinking that you are more similar than you really are, it is manipulative.' For example, you may pretend to be interested in the same things or say the same phrases to establish rapport, but it's all based on a lie. Think about that person you may have gone on a date with who seemed eerily similar to you and gave off a weird vibe because of it. They may have been mirroring you with not-so-great focus on the more positive version ahead, As mentioned, mirroring can occur through both words and actions. Dr. Chung gives some specific examples, explaining, 'Mirroring might look like a friend resting their head in their hand while listening to another friend speaking with their head in their hand. Another example could be using the same strong language your friend is using to participate in and empathize with their frustration.'But on a scientific, psychological level, what's going on?First, it's important to note that mirroring, also known as the chameleon effect, can be unintentional and is common. Dr. Cohen says studies have shown that when someone sits across from another person, they engage in that person's behaviors. This is nonconscious mimicry, and it's facilitated by mirror neurons in the brain.'The same neurons light up when you take an action as when you observe someone taking that same action,' Dr. Cohen explains. We'll start with the most obvious impact. As mentioned—and thanks to mirror neurons—talking or acting in the same way as someone else, in that moment, can build a connection. The two participants build familiarity and feel more attracted to each other, Dr. Cohen says.'Mirroring can help you build rapport in relationships because it helps you understand others more deeply, creating opportunity for more meaningful connections,' Dr. Chung You know those moments when you talk to someone and feel especially heard and loved? The other person may have been mirroring you. 'By mirroring another, you are feeling or experiencing what they feel/experience, which enables you to better understand them,' Dr. Cohen How To Validate Someone's Feelings, According to a Clinical Psychologist One of the great things about empathy is that it can lessen feelings of loneliness. 'When we mirror another person's emotional state, we're really able to put ourselves in their place and imagine what it's like to be them, which allows the other person to feel validated in the way they feel,' Dr. Chung says. If you've ever felt like someone was in the depths of a hard experience with you (even though they weren't), you know what she's talking about here. When you and another person are close, share a meaningful experience and feel empathy for each other, you can have more solid, effective communication. 'Since you are sharing in the other person's experience, you are better able to articulate what and how you're feeling and feel understood by the other,' Dr. Cohen says. Clearly, mirroring—or empathetically imitating another person's body language or words—can be hugely beneficial for individuals and relationships (when done right). Whether you're at work or talking to a friend, it's an important relationship skill to keep in mind. Up Next:Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Betsy Chung, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In first appeared on Parade on Jul 10, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 10, 2025, where it first appeared.
Daily Mail
06-07-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
Yes, the sex may be good right now. But these six magic questions determine if a couple is REALLY compatible in the bedroom... long after the honeymoon phase is over
A master matchmaker has listed the crucial questions every woman should ask to determine if they are sexually compatible with a man. Louanne Ward, a certified relationship expert with two decades of experience, says it's important to dive deep and ask the hard questions early on to establish a solid foundation as the connection deepens.
Yahoo
03-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
15 Ways You're Pretending Everything's Fine In A Dying Relationship
In the vibrant kaleidoscope of love, sometimes the colors start to fade, and yet we convince ourselves it's just a phase. We're all guilty of playing pretend, glossing over the glaring cracks with a coat of wishful thinking. You might think you're just holding on for dear life, but what if you're merely clutching at straws? It's time to unveil the subtle masquerades we often perform when we're not ready to face the inevitable demise of a relationship. Nostalgia can be a deceptive ally, blurring the lines between what was and what is. You find yourself revisiting old photos, reliving the early days when everything sparkled with potential. But lingering in the past to ignore the present is like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and relationship expert, "Focusing excessively on the past can prevent you from addressing the current issues that need resolution." Your constant retelling of "how good it used to be" is a thin veil over the uncomfortable truth of where you stand now. It's easier to turn a blind eye to today's problems under the guise of yesterday's happiness. But romanticizing the past doesn't solve the persistent gnawing feeling that perhaps, the best days are long gone. Are you clinging to memories because they were truly special, or because they mask a less-than-ideal present? You're fluent in the art of changing the subject when things get too real. Conflict is something you meticulously dodge, like a cat avoiding water. By steering clear of necessary conversations, you're not keeping the peace; you're just delaying an inevitable confrontation. It's a silence that's less golden and more leaden, weighing down the authenticity of your interactions. Every unsaid word builds a barrier, brick by brick, between you and a genuine connection. You might mistake your avoidance for maturity or patience, but in reality, it's creating a chasm that grows wider each day. By not addressing the elephant in the room, you're letting it trample all over the fragile foundation of your relationship. Silence can be just as explosive as words; don't let it be the bomb that shatters everything. Blame it on stress, a bad day at work, or the alignment of the planets, but you're always ready with a justification for their actions. It's a narrative you've created to preserve the illusion of harmony. You're so focused on making excuses that you've almost forgotten how to hold them accountable. Licensed therapist Dr. Andrea Bonior notes, "Rationalizing poor treatment often stems from fear of acknowledging deeper issues within the relationship." Each excuse you make is a thread in the web that keeps you entangled in a cycle of denial. You tell yourself it's a phase, a blip, a minor detour on the road to forever. Yet, with every overlooked transgression, you further erode the respect and boundaries that are essential for any flourishing partnership. By excusing them, you're not protecting the relationship; you're undermining it. Your calendar is a meticulously curated masterpiece, filled to the brim with commitments and plans. But is all this busyness a genuine pursuit of interests, or just an elaborate distraction from the relationship unraveling at the seams? By filling every spare moment, you're effectively drowning out the whispers of doubt that creep in during quiet moments. It's a symphony of dissonance you're orchestrating to drown out the uncomfortable silence. Constant activity becomes your sanctuary, a refuge from the storm of emotions you refuse to confront. You're in a perpetual race against stillness, where the bitter truths of dissatisfaction linger. It's easier to lose yourself in a flurry of engagements than to sit still and face the dissonance within. But avoidance is a temporary balm, and when the dust settles, the issues remain as daunting as ever. Your online presence is a carefully curated gallery, showcasing the highlights of a seemingly perfect partnership. Behind every shared smile, there's a narrative you've fabricated to keep up appearances. It's a façade that might fool your followers, but it doesn't change the reality you live in. According to a study by Dr. Benjamin Karney, excessive positive social media portrayals often mask underlying relationship dissatisfaction. Each post, each caption, is a declaration, not to the world, but to yourself, that everything is fine. You craft a story that aligns more with how you wish things were, rather than how they are. Yet, the more effort you put into this digital facade, the more disconnected you become from the truth. Social media becomes your stage, but are you an actor in your own life or merely a spectator? Friends, family, even colleagues seem to be getting the best of you, while your partner is left with the crumbs of your attention. You justify it as maintaining a balanced life, but deep down, it's a strategic diversion. By focusing on others, you're diverting your emotional energy away from the partnership that desperately needs it. It's easier to nurture other connections than face the one that feels like it's slipping through your fingers. There's a comfort in the simplicity of relationships that aren't as fraught with complexity. You feel accomplished when you're the dependable friend or the supportive sibling, but it's a role that conveniently shifts focus from the struggles at home. Prioritizing others is not inherently bad, but when it's at the expense of your primary relationship, it becomes a form of escape. You're not just spreading your wings; you're running away. Once, the future was a tapestry you wove together, filled with dreams and aspirations. Now, you shy away from discussions about what's next, as if afraid to jinx whatever fragile harmony remains. It's a sign you're hedging your bets, unwilling to fully invest in a future that feels uncertain. A 2021 study from the Gottman Institute found that couples who frequently plan their future tend to have higher relationship satisfaction. The absence of future plans creates a void, a silent acknowledgment that perhaps the end is nearer than either of you wants to admit. By avoiding these discussions, you rob the relationship of its momentum and direction. You're not protecting yourself from disappointment; you're ensuring it by not committing to a shared vision. Without future plans, you're not just standing still; you're drifting apart. In an attempt to keep the peace or avoid conflict, you've become a master of self-neglect. You convince yourself your needs are secondary, an inconvenience in the grand scheme of things. It's a dangerous dance of self-sacrifice that ultimately leaves you feeling unfulfilled and resentful. Downplaying your needs doesn't make you a hero; it makes you a martyr to a cause that might not deserve it. Each unmet need chips away at your sense of self, leaving behind a shell of the person you once were. When you ignore your own desires, you also deprive your partner of knowing the full you. The relationship becomes a one-sided narrative where your voice is conspicuously absent. It's not selfless to ignore your needs; it's self-sabotage. You've become experts at orchestrating group settings, where the focus is dispersed, and intimacy can be diluted. It's a calculated move to avoid the awkward silences and the undeniable distance that creeps in when it's just the two of you. In the company of others, the cracks in your relationship are less visible, obscured by laughter and noise. But avoiding alone time is like putting a band-aid over a fracture; it doesn't heal the break. Being alone together means facing the intimacy that's been lost, the connection that's become more tenuous over time. You fill the void with friends, family, and activities, trying to avoid the uncomfortable truth that you've drifted apart. But avoidance only deepens the divide, creating an even steeper climb back to each other. Alone time is an opportunity for reconnection, but only if you're willing to face what's been neglected. You've started making small concessions, bending your moral compass in ways you never thought you would. These compromises feel minor in isolation, but collectively, they redefine who you are within the relationship. You convince yourself that it's just part of being flexible or adaptable. But every time you compromise a core value, you lose a piece of yourself. When your values are aligned, the relationship feels like a partnership. But when you start deviating from what you believe in, it becomes a battleground of silent discontent. Your internal conflict grows as you try to reconcile your actions with your beliefs. The cost of these compromises is steep, often leading to resentment and self-doubt. Routine becomes your safe haven, a predictable cycle that shields you from the uncomfortable truths lurking beneath the surface. You find solace in the familiar, clinging to daily rituals as if they are life rafts in turbulent waters. But routine can also become a prison, trapping you in a cycle of monotony that leaves little room for growth or change. It's a comfortable stagnation that disguises the underlying issues. The predictability of routine provides a false sense of security, perpetuating the illusion that everything is fine. You mistake consistency for stability, but routine without purpose is just a repetitive loop. It's a way to avoid confronting the dissonance, a distraction from the dissatisfaction that simmers beneath. But without addressing the root cause, routine becomes a barrier to true fulfillment. You find yourself seeking approval from friends, family, or even strangers to justify the relationship's validity. Their assurances become a crutch, supporting a narrative you struggle to believe in yourself. It's an external affirmation that everything is fine, a comfort in the face of internal turmoil. But relying on others to validate your relationship strips away your own agency. External validation is a temporary balm, soothing the insecurities that arise from within. But when you rely on it too heavily, you lose sight of what truly matters to you. It becomes a cycle of dependency, where your happiness hinges on the opinions of others. True contentment comes from within, not from the validation of those around you. Those nagging doubts and subtle signs that something is amiss are casually swept under the rug. You convince yourself they're insignificant, isolated incidents that don't define the relationship. It's easier to turn a blind eye than to confront the uncomfortable truth. But ignoring red flags is a surefire way to ensure they grow into insurmountable obstacles. Every overlooked sign is a missed opportunity for growth and understanding. Red flags exist for a reason, signaling areas that need attention and resolution. By ignoring them, you're effectively choosing the path of least resistance, delaying the inevitable reckoning. Acknowledging and addressing these signs is crucial for any relationship to thrive. You sense the growing chasm between you but brush it off as a temporary phase. Emotional distance becomes the elephant in the room that you choose to ignore, hoping it will resolve on its own. But downplaying this distance only deepens the divide, making reconciliation more elusive. It's a passive acceptance of a reality you're unwilling to confront. Emotional distance is often a silent cry for connection, a plea for attention and understanding. By ignoring it, you're missing the opportunity to bridge the gap and rebuild the bond. It becomes a cycle of avoidance, where each unaddressed feeling compounds the loneliness. Facing the distance requires vulnerability and courage, but it's the only way to truly reconnect. Sometimes, the fear of the unknown is more daunting than the discomfort of the known. You convince yourself that staying is easier, more comfortable than venturing into the uncertainty of a new beginning. It's a decision rooted in convenience rather than authenticity, a choice to prioritize comfort over fulfillment. But staying for comfort often means sacrificing genuine happiness. Comfort is a seductive force, lulling you into complacency and stagnation. Yet, true growth and fulfillment often require stepping outside of your comfort zone. By staying in a relationship that no longer serves you, you're denying yourself the opportunity for genuine connection and joy. Embracing change is scary, but it's also the first step toward a more fulfilling future.
