What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In

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11-07-2025

What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In originally appeared on Parade.
Plenty of dating and relationship terms are buzzwords nowadays, like dry-begging and gaslighting. Unfortunately, they are usually signs of unhealthy relationships, or at worst, abusive ones. But today, we're going to dive into a relationship term that explains a way of interacting with others in a (mostly!) positive way. It's 'mirroring.' So, what is mirroringbehavior, and how can it potentially help take your relationship to the next level? Is it good or actually bad? This term refers to body language, speech and more, and it can be either a positive or negative, depending on the intent.Ahead, psychologists explain what mirroring is, what it looks like, how it can foster connection and the one sneaky way it can be manipulative.Related: 6 Things Successful People *Always* Do in a Conversation, According to a Neuropsychotherapist
The mirroring definition is pretty straightforward: 'Mirroring involves the imitation of another person's behaviors or expressions,' says Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a relationship expert at the dating app Hilly. She gives the example of friends engaging in each other's mannerisms or pronouncing words the same way. There's also copying someone's tone to be congruent, or reflecting their facial expressions when they share a story. This shows empathy and builds rapport.Even though it might sound the same or similar in theory, mirroring is different from mocking; mirroring is genuine: you feel what the other person is feeling, and that's what can be so meaningful. 'When mirroring occurs between two individuals, it usually means that they're both experiencing similar feelings and attitudes about whatever circumstance is at hand,' says , a clinical psychologist and relationship expert at RAW dating app. 'On the other hand, intentionally imitating another person can be an offensive act, causing the other person to feel mocked or teased.'While mirroring is usually a good thing, it's not always used in a healthy, positive way.
'This can be manipulative if not genuine,' Dr. Cohen says. 'For example, if you start to mirror someone's mannerisms so as to deceive them into thinking that you are more similar than you really are, it is manipulative.' For example, you may pretend to be interested in the same things or say the same phrases to establish rapport, but it's all based on a lie. Think about that person you may have gone on a date with who seemed eerily similar to you and gave off a weird vibe because of it. They may have been mirroring you with not-so-great intentions.We'll focus on the more positive version ahead, though.Related:
As mentioned, mirroring can occur through both words and actions. Dr. Chung gives some specific examples, explaining, 'Mirroring might look like a friend resting their head in their hand while listening to another friend speaking with their head in their hand. Another example could be using the same strong language your friend is using to participate in and empathize with their frustration.'But on a scientific, psychological level, what's going on?First, it's important to note that mirroring, also known as the chameleon effect, can be unintentional and is common. Dr. Cohen says studies have shown that when someone sits across from another person, they engage in that person's behaviors. This is nonconscious mimicry, and it's facilitated by mirror neurons in the brain.'The same neurons light up when you take an action as when you observe someone taking that same action,' Dr. Cohen explains.
We'll start with the most obvious impact. As mentioned—and thanks to mirror neurons—talking or acting in the same way as someone else, in that moment, can build a connection. The two participants build familiarity and feel more attracted to each other, Dr. Cohen says.'Mirroring can help you build rapport in relationships because it helps you understand others more deeply, creating opportunity for more meaningful connections,' Dr. Chung explains.Related:
You know those moments when you talk to someone and feel especially heard and loved? The other person may have been mirroring you. 'By mirroring another, you are feeling or experiencing what they feel/experience, which enables you to better understand them,' Dr. Cohen explains.Related: How To Validate Someone's Feelings, According to a Clinical Psychologist
One of the great things about empathy is that it can lessen feelings of loneliness. 'When we mirror another person's emotional state, we're really able to put ourselves in their place and imagine what it's like to be them, which allows the other person to feel validated in the way they feel,' Dr. Chung says. If you've ever felt like someone was in the depths of a hard experience with you (even though they weren't), you know what she's talking about here.
When you and another person are close, share a meaningful experience and feel empathy for each other, you can have more solid, effective communication. 'Since you are sharing in the other person's experience, you are better able to articulate what and how you're feeling and feel understood by the other,' Dr. Cohen says. Clearly, mirroring—or empathetically imitating another person's body language or words—can be hugely beneficial for individuals and relationships (when done right). Whether you're at work or talking to a friend, it's an important relationship skill to keep in mind. Up Next:Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, a psychologist and relationship expert
Dr. Betsy Chung, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert
What Is 'Mirroring' and How Does It Impact Your Relationships? Psychologists Weigh In first appeared on Parade on Jul 10, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 10, 2025, where it first appeared.