Woman Says Married Man She Thought Was 'One of the Good Ones' Keeps Messaging Her, and Now She Wants to Leave Their Mutual Group

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4 days ago

A woman wrote on Mumsnet that she wants to end her hobby with a mutual group of friends due to one of its members
According to the woman, the married man, who she swore "was one of the good ones," often tells her he has feelings for her
"In the last month or so, he's started messaging me, to the point that it's become almost daily," the woman saidA woman is contemplating ending her hobby with a mutual group of friends due to one of its overbearing members.
The woman detailed her dilemma on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet with the subject line, "I need to do something about this man."
Explaining that the individual is "married to someone I know and like," the woman continued, "I've heard bits and pieces from both of them over the years, suggesting that their relationship isn't great, but I always assumed these things crop up in a long marriage, and none of my business anyway."
Added the woman, 'I socialize with him quite a bit in a group. His wife is always invited, but often declines to come.'
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Recently, the woman said her view of the man changed "after many years, where I'd have sworn he was one of the good ones."
Detailing that she had "never seen or heard anything inappropriate from him," the woman said the man has since "decided to tell me 'how he feels.' "
And though she has "tried to shut it down," the woman said that "things will be normal for a while, but as soon as he has a drink, he's there declaring feelings again."
"In the last month or so, he's started messaging me, to the point that it's become almost daily. Nothing flirty, always positive," the woman continued, adding, however, that "it's the sudden change, alongside the other conversations, that bother me."
Concluding her message by noting that she "can't just cut him off, or at least not without sacrificing my main hobby and friendship group," the woman further explained, "I'm not inclined to do that because a man is being ridiculous."
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In the comments section of the post, other Mumsnet users agreed that the man was testing the boundaries.
'Your gut is correct — his MO has changed and he is nudging boundaries,' one user wrote. 'You sense it, you know it. The nudges are deliberately small so that you would feel foolish calling him out in the moment on a single incident.'
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Others, meanwhile, stressed that it was up to the woman to draw a hard line.
'You can't enforce boundaries if you persist with this. Just tell him to stop messaging you,' one person commented.
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