logo
When love isn't enough: Why I left my ‘perfect' relationship

When love isn't enough: Why I left my ‘perfect' relationship

Indian Express2 days ago
I walked out of my 'perfect' relationship. While it lasted — all of eight years — it looked like a match made in heaven. He was patient, kind, and loyal. Our relationship was supported and celebrated by our families and friends. But with time, I became aware of the vast gap in our perception of the world, which only grew larger by the day. There was not much drama or conflict, but the truth was undeniable and stark.
Break-ups are usually messy, often a result of cheating or dishonesty. There's shouting, tears, blocked numbers, and divided friend groups. At least that's what social media, movies, and even our own fears would have us believe. It's almost as if a relationship can only end for explicit, solid and explosive reasons. But separations need not necessarily be about betrayal, disappointment, and anguish. They can happen when two people, who still love each other, stop moving in the same direction.
For me, there was no single, seismic moment that marked the end. It was rather a slow unravelling, and here's how it possibly began. For quite some time, I wanted to have deeper conversations with him that challenged our social conditioning and pushed our boundaries of comfort. I wanted to interrogate the world and my place in it. He chose the comfort of certainty and was content with how things were, and I was not. One day, I asked myself: if this continues, what will I become?
At first, it was just a niggling restlessness. Eventually, I understood that I was growing. Not away from him, but into myself.
We often confuse love with compatibility, but are they the same? You can love someone deeply and still find yourself fundamentally out of sync. Love is not a guarantee of forever. It is a powerful bond, but it doesn't erase the need for shared growth, intellectual connection, or mutual curiosity about the world.
I found myself thinking often about The Way We Were, starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. In one unforgettable scene, Streisand's character Katie says to Redford's Hubbell, 'If I push too hard, it's because I want things to be better.' That line helped me with the realisation: I wasn't trying to break us. I was trying to make us expansive enough to hold everything I was becoming. When that couldn't happen, I chose not to contort myself to fit into that limiting tent.
Or take Eat Pray Love, where Julia Roberts' character, Liz, leaves a marriage not because it was terrible, but because it was stifling in its sameness. She says, 'I want to marvel at something.' That desire, to marvel, to stretch, to be wide open to the world, is not a rejection of love, but a reaching toward selfhood. She knew she was built for something different, something wider — that recognition is liberating.
Then, there's Tamasha, where Deepika Padukone's character, Tara, falls in love with Ved in Corsica, only to be heartbroken when she realises the man he becomes in his routine life is far different from his inner light, his own self. Even in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Abhay Deol's character, Kabir, begins to confront the emotional weight of fitting into his relationship with Natasha, played by Kalki Koechlin. He has to decide if his own desires fit into her expectations.
These are not stories of betrayal or failure. They are stories of truth. And the truth is, we can love someone and still choose ourselves. We can walk away from something that looks whole because we recognise a deeper ailment: one that is not about who the other person is, but who we have become.
Relationship dynamics shift as people evolve. And staying in something you know will eventually shrink your spirit is one of the quietest, yet riskiest, things you can do — to yourself, and to the person you love. Because when alignment fades, love can curdle into resentment. And no one deserves that. So, I made the hardest, but perhaps the kindest choice I could. I walked away from my 'perfect' relationship.
Our final conversations were quiet and gutting. He asked me if I was sure, and I said I was. He asked if I still loved him. I said yes, but added that I loved myself differently now. I could not shrink my curiosity, ambition, or shifting worldview to make someone else comfortable, even if it was someone I adored. He deserves someone who finds joy in the life he wants, and I deserve a life that reflects the depths of who I am becoming.
When I tell people I ended a 'perfect' relationship, their first reaction is confusion. 'But everything was fine,' they say. And they are right. Everything was fine. But 'fine' is a dangerous trap. 'Fine' convinces us that comfort is the same as compatibility. 'Fine' is what keeps people captive in unspoken misery for years, trading depth for predictability.
When it comes to growth, it doesn't always follow the same timeline. Sometimes, people evolve in parallel directions. Sometimes they don't. My decision underscores identity and autonomy, and not rebellion. I chose a real life, not one of labels.
Shruti Kaushal is a social media sieve and catches'em trends before they grow big, especially cinema. She has been a journalist for 4 years and covers trends, art and culture, and entertainment. ... Read More
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

4 literary cameos you missed in Bollywood movies
4 literary cameos you missed in Bollywood movies

Indian Express

timea day ago

  • Indian Express

4 literary cameos you missed in Bollywood movies

(Written by Kaashvi Khubyani) Books are not always read out loud in movies. Sometimes, they just sit quietly in the background- in someone's hands or next to a cup of coffee, but they still say a lot. In Bollywood movies, where everything is big and dramatic, these little book moments can feel surprisingly personal. They often tell us what a character is feeling or searching for. Here are four such times where books made quiet but powerful appearances on screen. Imtiaz Ali's Tamasha is all about figuring out who you really are, even if the world forces you to be someone else. In one scene, Ved (Ranbir Kapoor) gives Tara (Deepika Padukone) a copy of Catch-22– a book about a man stuck in a confusion and frustration. It's not just a random choice. The book reflects Ved's own struggle with living a life that doesn't feel like his. Just like the story, Ved feels trapped and the book quietly says so. When Rani (Kangana Ranaut) takes a solo trip to Paris after getting heartbroken, she takes something special with her- The Alchemist. The book is about chasing your dreams and finding your purpose and that's exactly what Rani ends up doing. As she discovers new places and new parts of herself, the book becomes her travel companion. It accompanies her, reminding her that she's stronger than she thought she would ever become. She steps out of her comfort zone and slowly lets go of who she was. She begins to find her own 'Personal Legend,' not in the form of love or marriage but in reclaiming herself. Black tells the story of Michelle (Rani Mukerji), a girl who can't see or hear and her teacher (Amitabh Bachchan), who helps her find her way in a world. The film is inspired by Helen Keller's life and in one important scene, Michelle is seen holding Keller's autobiography. The book doesn't just appear as a reference, it's a symbol of hope. It becomes a reminder that words can be felt even when they can't be heard and that even the most silent journeys are still full of voice. Since Dil Bechara is based on The Fault in Our Stars, it makes sense that Kizie (Sanjana Sanghi) is shown reading the original book early in the film. It's a small yet emotional moment- a look at the story it's retelling. Like the novel, the movie is tender and heartbreaking. By showing the book on screen, it feels like the characters know they're part of something bigger, a story that so many people have cried over and connected with. The next time you're watching a movie, notice the books that characters are reading or even just keeping nearby. They're placed in the scene for a reason. Books in films might not always have dialogue, but they do speak. Whether it's about identity, love, growing up or healing, these quiet literary moments add something special and often, something deeply human. (The writer is an intern with

When love isn't enough: Why I left my ‘perfect' relationship
When love isn't enough: Why I left my ‘perfect' relationship

Indian Express

time2 days ago

  • Indian Express

When love isn't enough: Why I left my ‘perfect' relationship

I walked out of my 'perfect' relationship. While it lasted — all of eight years — it looked like a match made in heaven. He was patient, kind, and loyal. Our relationship was supported and celebrated by our families and friends. But with time, I became aware of the vast gap in our perception of the world, which only grew larger by the day. There was not much drama or conflict, but the truth was undeniable and stark. Break-ups are usually messy, often a result of cheating or dishonesty. There's shouting, tears, blocked numbers, and divided friend groups. At least that's what social media, movies, and even our own fears would have us believe. It's almost as if a relationship can only end for explicit, solid and explosive reasons. But separations need not necessarily be about betrayal, disappointment, and anguish. They can happen when two people, who still love each other, stop moving in the same direction. For me, there was no single, seismic moment that marked the end. It was rather a slow unravelling, and here's how it possibly began. For quite some time, I wanted to have deeper conversations with him that challenged our social conditioning and pushed our boundaries of comfort. I wanted to interrogate the world and my place in it. He chose the comfort of certainty and was content with how things were, and I was not. One day, I asked myself: if this continues, what will I become? At first, it was just a niggling restlessness. Eventually, I understood that I was growing. Not away from him, but into myself. We often confuse love with compatibility, but are they the same? You can love someone deeply and still find yourself fundamentally out of sync. Love is not a guarantee of forever. It is a powerful bond, but it doesn't erase the need for shared growth, intellectual connection, or mutual curiosity about the world. I found myself thinking often about The Way We Were, starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. In one unforgettable scene, Streisand's character Katie says to Redford's Hubbell, 'If I push too hard, it's because I want things to be better.' That line helped me with the realisation: I wasn't trying to break us. I was trying to make us expansive enough to hold everything I was becoming. When that couldn't happen, I chose not to contort myself to fit into that limiting tent. Or take Eat Pray Love, where Julia Roberts' character, Liz, leaves a marriage not because it was terrible, but because it was stifling in its sameness. She says, 'I want to marvel at something.' That desire, to marvel, to stretch, to be wide open to the world, is not a rejection of love, but a reaching toward selfhood. She knew she was built for something different, something wider — that recognition is liberating. Then, there's Tamasha, where Deepika Padukone's character, Tara, falls in love with Ved in Corsica, only to be heartbroken when she realises the man he becomes in his routine life is far different from his inner light, his own self. Even in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Abhay Deol's character, Kabir, begins to confront the emotional weight of fitting into his relationship with Natasha, played by Kalki Koechlin. He has to decide if his own desires fit into her expectations. These are not stories of betrayal or failure. They are stories of truth. And the truth is, we can love someone and still choose ourselves. We can walk away from something that looks whole because we recognise a deeper ailment: one that is not about who the other person is, but who we have become. Relationship dynamics shift as people evolve. And staying in something you know will eventually shrink your spirit is one of the quietest, yet riskiest, things you can do — to yourself, and to the person you love. Because when alignment fades, love can curdle into resentment. And no one deserves that. So, I made the hardest, but perhaps the kindest choice I could. I walked away from my 'perfect' relationship. Our final conversations were quiet and gutting. He asked me if I was sure, and I said I was. He asked if I still loved him. I said yes, but added that I loved myself differently now. I could not shrink my curiosity, ambition, or shifting worldview to make someone else comfortable, even if it was someone I adored. He deserves someone who finds joy in the life he wants, and I deserve a life that reflects the depths of who I am becoming. When I tell people I ended a 'perfect' relationship, their first reaction is confusion. 'But everything was fine,' they say. And they are right. Everything was fine. But 'fine' is a dangerous trap. 'Fine' convinces us that comfort is the same as compatibility. 'Fine' is what keeps people captive in unspoken misery for years, trading depth for predictability. When it comes to growth, it doesn't always follow the same timeline. Sometimes, people evolve in parallel directions. Sometimes they don't. My decision underscores identity and autonomy, and not rebellion. I chose a real life, not one of labels. Shruti Kaushal is a social media sieve and catches'em trends before they grow big, especially cinema. She has been a journalist for 4 years and covers trends, art and culture, and entertainment. ... Read More

Saiyaara: Why Gen Z can't stop loving Ahaan Pandey-Aneet Padda film?
Saiyaara: Why Gen Z can't stop loving Ahaan Pandey-Aneet Padda film?

Indian Express

time3 days ago

  • Indian Express

Saiyaara: Why Gen Z can't stop loving Ahaan Pandey-Aneet Padda film?

There's been a clear appetite building among the new generation of audiences for a heartfelt, all-consuming love story, and Mohit Suri's Saiyaara seems to have arrived right on cue. It's been a long time since Bollywood delivered a romance of this scale, sincerity, and emotional intensity. What's interesting is that Gen Z has grown up watching films like Rockstar, Tamasha, Laila Majnu, Sanam Teri Kasam, and look at the pattern here: most of these didn't work commercially when they were first released. Why? They were looking for the right audience. They were waiting for the right ears to listen. Turns out, they were waiting for Gen Z. These are the films Gen Z discovered, obsessed over, and grew up with. And now, when most of them got re-released, in the last two years, or found second lives on streaming and in special screenings, they've done brilliantly. Over the years, if you've scrolled through Instagram, chances are you've come across every other reel featuring someone young, fanboying over these films. Which proves the point: there's always been a market for intense love stories that hurt as well as heal. The industry just wasn't tapping into it properly. That's why, in a dark theatre, when audiences saw Ahaan Panday and Aneet Padda as Krish and Vaani, they felt for them, deeply. Because they saw themselves in them. Viewers had grown tired of watching the same established stars pair up in film after film, often with little chemistry and performances overshadowed by their own stardom. In contrast, Saiyaara offered something refreshing: two new faces who felt real, vulnerable, and entirely relatable. The kind of people you might actually spot at a coffee shop or an open mic night. This relatability struck a powerful emotional chord. A huge part of that impact was also thanks to the unconventional marketing strategy by Yash Raj Films, specifically by director Mohit Suri and producer Aditya Chopra. The lead pair was intentionally kept away from all promotional activity before the film's release — there were no interviews, no hyperglam photos on Instagram, no 'accidental' sighting by the paparazzi. On the contrary, both Ahaan and Aneet appeared to be on an Insta detox for months at end. Saiyaraa is the most low-key launch of a lead pair since Instagram. Even now, YRF doesn't intend to do a media blitzkrieg with them and their social media is only about the film. #Saiyaaraa a musical journey I never thought i will like this movie but I loved it both actor performance were good but fL performance was in another level ahaan should work on his facial expression songs were good but last song 🔥I got goosebumps theatre experience was very good — Rishi Gupta (@rishig51) July 19, 2025 Also Read | In Saiyaara's final act, Mohit Suri channels the best of Aditya Chopra's brand of romance In fact, Aditya reportedly mentored Ahaan over the past few years, asking him, unlike many other 'nepo-kids' — to seriously focus on his craft and avoid any PR or media exposure. Similarly, Mohit Suri chose Aneet because he wanted a girl who looked simple and unpolished, someone the audience could instantly connect with. He has even spoken about looking for youngsters who have not cosmetically enhanced their faces. And now, with Saiyaara becoming such a breakout success, comparisons are being drawn to earlier iconic debuts, like Kaho Naa… Pyaar Hai (which launched Hrithik Roshan and Amisha Patel), and even further back, to Maine Pyaar Kiya and Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (which introduced Salman Khan and Aamir Khan respectively). Another factor working in Saiyaara's favour is the return of Mohit Suri, a director whose body of work resonates deeply with the Gen Z audience. His filmography reads like the playlist of a generation: Woh Lamhe, Awarapan, Raaz 2, Murder 2, Aashiqui 2, Ek Villain, Hamari Adhuri Kahani, Half Girlfriend. While not all of them are loved, they did make him a household name. With Saiyaara, Suri seems to have delivered his most polished, mature, and crowd-pleasing film yet. Shared post on Time And of course, the music. As Karan Johar once said, nothing works better than a well-made heartbreak song, and Saiyaara seems to have taken that to heart. At its core, the film plays like a playlist of soul-stirring songs, all stitched together by an intense, aching love story between the leads. It also brings up an interesting point, watching Saiyaara in a packed theatre reveals just how perfectly it speaks to Gen Z. This is a generation of audiences that lives both in the moment and through their phones, capturing everything for reels, snaps, stories, and posts. It's a strange fixation: to live presently, but also virtually. And Saiyaara gives them the perfect backdrop. From soaring musical moments to gorgeously framed emotional beats, the film offers scene after scene that feels made to be recorded, shared, and remembered. It's almost like being at a concert, your favorite song playing, your phone in hand, and your heart wide open. It's like sitting in a theatre and suddenly remembering why we fell in love with going to the movies in the first place.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store