Review: Eddie Murphy's ‘The Pickup' is a letdown

San Francisco Chronicle​

a day ago

Oh, to live in a world such as that of 'The Pickup,' where physics mean nothing and the arc of the universe bends toward justice, however improbable, as long as one can 'learn weaponry and precision driving' and everything goes miraculously right.
The sort-of comedy, sort-of heist movie, sort-of something between drama and romantic fantasy is a vehicle (ahem) for Eddie Murphy as veteran armored-truck driver Russell. He and goofball rookie Travis (Pete Davidson) get swept up in the elaborate and unlikely scheme of multiskilled robber Zoe (Keke Palmer).
After some yawning pre-dawn exposition informing us Russell is too old for this shift, that he and wife Natalie (Eva Longoria) would rather start a charming little B&B, he gets paired up with mouthy and hygiene-challenged Travis, who's fresh off a wild weekend with the mysterious Zoe. What's really mysterious is how they expect us to buy high-rent Zoe's interest in him throughout, but this is Pete Davidson, after all.
Anyhoo, it turns out what Zoe was really pumping Travis for was information, and the frankly difficult-to-believe heist is underway (no spoiler; it's in the trailer).
The chemistry between Davidson and Palmer should be sent back to the manufacturer for defects. And what a contrast between the two couples when the attention shifts to Russell and Natalie; Murphy is in quiet-calm mode, but Longoria brings everything down to Earth with small inflections and groundedness that make her handful of comic moments the film's funniest. In a limited appearance, she's by far the best thing about the movie.
'The Pickup' is directed at a pitch meant to convince us it's a comedy. The action is too unmoored from reality to have any effect. There are no rules, no logic, no laws of physics. People sustain injuries that should utterly pulp them, but as they're still necessary to the plot, they're just fine.
Professional drivers inside their armored truck don't notice when someone opens the back doors and climbs in; a motorcycle helmet takes direct gunfire, and the wearer is A-OK. Worse, there are a thousand 'Why don't they just do this?' moments. This is not a movie with which to think along.
That lack of grounding destroys any hope of tension, so there are no dramatic stakes. Opportunities for comedy are missed by miles. Davidson gets gonzo gags, Palmer is 007 with a heart, Murphy and Longoria try to exist in reality. That halfhearted miasma of genres results in tonal confusion. Murphy throws in what seem like ad libs to spice up a moribund script, but it's not enough to add flavor to a bland stew.
He doesn't exactly look inspired. Davidson delivers a generic man-boy performance. We're to believe Palmer's Zoe is obsessed enough to do what she does, but we're told, not shown. Apart from Longoria bringing a charge to her scenes, the only other notable performer is Oakland's Marshawn Lynch (so hilarious in ' Bottoms '), whose appearance is all-too brief, but manages to milk a laugh out of 'Man, I told you I'm busy laundering money.'
The movie is the latest in Murphy's first-look deal with Amazon, which is connected to such non-classics as the poorly received sequel ' Coming 2 America ' and the even more poorly received 'Candy Cane Lane.' 'The Pickup' is likely headed for a similar fate. It's not terrible, but it's uninspired, unbelievable and unmemorable. The positive takeaway is that there needs to be a lot more Eva Longoria in the world.