Why do women reject men so brutally? It's kinder than breadcrumbing
Just ask anyone who's hit their daily 'like' limit on Hinge, only to be met with silence—five swipes, zero matches, and a bruised ego. For instant healing, you aggressively swipe left on everyone who liked you. But don't quote me on that, I will deny everything.
Romantic rejection is a rite of passage, and everyone's either a victim or a villain. Online dating was designed to dodge it at all costs. But—surprise, surprise—it only gave rejection a software update.
The new-age dating scene thrives on polite confusion. The painful clarity of 'I don't like you' is replaced with the more gutting 'I don't like you… enough'. There's always one person in a casual relationship burning the midnight oil for a boyfriend or girlfriend title, only to be slapped with a friend-with-benefits role, or a weekend hookup appointment. It's rejection in layers, or you can call it death by a thousand paper cuts.
Grieving online
Cultural critics blame the dating apps for the growing fear of rejection among Gen Z and for relationships that feel like an elaborate humiliation ritual. Content creators and dating experts on Instagram post carousels on how to rise above rejection. It's not you, it's them—that's the basic TED talk. Daters are advised to take it as a blessing, a redirection to better things. Because there are now a million ways someone can reject you, the online good Samaritans are also helping people read hidden signs in vague text messages and silent body language.
Psychologists, on the other hand, are diagnosing people with rejection sensitivity dysphoria—a condition where rejections feel catastrophic. In simple therapy speak, the only treatment is 'healing your inner child'.
The Jesus fanbase is spreading its own propaganda: 'So what he doesn't want you? God loves you.' To fact-check this claim, you must reach out to the press office in heaven.
On the unhinged side—aka the interesting one—the discourse takes a juicier turn. The advice you get there sounds petty, but it works like a charm. Reject them before they reject you. Switch off the blue tick on WhatsApp, so you never know at what point you were ghosted. Always go for people uglier than you, so there's less risk of disappointment.
'People who are both job hunting and swiping on dating apps are burning the stick of dynamite at both ends,' read one tweet. Someone replied: 'I've been thinking about and then deciding not to even try to redownload a dating app every few days while I've been job hunting because I can only handle so much rejection at once.'
Trust us to not suffer quietly through the pangs of unrequited love. We grieve online—via cryptic captions, sad girl playlists, and 20-minute voicenotes to our besties. Some of us even descend into the digital underworld of subtweets and AITA threads to roast our former flings.
'I gave the ugly guy a chance and he had the gall to block me,' one post read. It's still healthier than how some people handle rejection.
Also read: Romance has the urgency of breaking news now. Dating apps are editorial fodder
Danger: Rejections ahead
While nobody takes rejection well, newspaper headlines reveal that it turns men into murderers, stalkers, and rapists. A 27-year-old chartered accountant said she blames her 'strict landlord' every time she wants to tell a man she can't bring him home after a lousy first date.
This is not to rob women of their own predatory, pushy streak. Convinced of their fairy-like qualities, some of them can't digest that a man can reject them. Raanjhanaa's Kundan looks like a noob chaser compared to them. A Delhi-based man snubbed his one-night stand at least 20 times, and yet she wouldn't give up hounding him online and offline. She'd crash every party thrown by their mutual friends, just to grill him about why he won't return her calls. Worried about being bad-mouthed, the man caved and went on one more date with her. She didn't have fun that day, so she told him to never text her again. Love may be dead, but audacity lives on.
Men also frequently call out women for being brutal in the way they reject them. The memes start with 'Worst she can say is no' and end with a punchline that would scar a person for life. In a viral text exchange doing rounds on social media, a guy asks a girl to clarify if he's her lover, sidepiece, friend, etc. She replies, 'Etc.' Who would survive this?
In our defence, women say it's better to destroy someone in one blow than keep them hanging for months. 'I refuse to act like men who give breadcrumbs of affection for months till the other person takes the hint,' said a serial rejecter working in finance. The delivery is savage, but the intention is often mercy.
Rejection has wrecked some people to the point that they've taken the involuntary celibacy route. Thanks to desi matrimony, not everyone will die single. Our parents are more than happy to take over the burden—and get rejected on our behalf.
You can't pay me enough to take that route. I've spent enough on therapy to know I'm not everyone's cup of tea—and that's fine.
This article is part of a series of columns on modern dating in India—the good, the bad and the cuddly.
Views are personal. The author tweets @ratanpriya4.
(Edited by Prasanna Bachchhav)
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Hindustan Times
an hour ago
- Hindustan Times
US man warns ‘America is crumbling', urges others to diversify life abroad
An American man has stirred conversation on social media after posting a video in which he suggests the United States is in decline and urges others to prepare for an uncertain future by diversifying their lives globally. A US man sparked debate online by advising people to stop depending solely on America.(Instagram/trvlking) (Also read: 'Sample of racism': American woman lists absurd things trolls say to foreigners married to Indians) The user, identified as Adam, shared a clip on Instagram featuring himself, with a text overlay that reads: "America is crumbling before our eyes. You need to diversify: - Remote income - Second residency - New passport - International banking." Alongside the video, he shared a detailed caption that expands on his concerns. He wrote, 'The USA seems to be falling apart. You need to diversify your life instead of depending on America for everything. There are poor countries today that were great just 100 years ago. You'd be naive to think that it could never happen to the US. You need to diversify your life to protect yourself and your family. You're in the right place.' Take a look here at the clip: Social media reacts The video received a range of reactions, with many users agreeing with Adam's viewpoint. One user commented, 'India gets 130 billion dollars every year from the US by Indians working.' Another joked, 'You forgot international wifey bro.' (Also read: American woman leaves 'average' life in US for extraordinary journey in India, calls it life-changing) Some showed agreement across national lines, with one saying, 'This is true,' while another added, 'As an American, I also agree with you man.' Another user chimed in, 'Even if everything in the US somehow went 'back to normal' tomorrow, the trust has been lost.' One more said, 'I agree with each word of yours.' While some may see the post as alarmist, others viewed it as a timely reminder to think globally and prepare personally.
New Indian Express
18 hours ago
- New Indian Express
A Gandhian turns old clothes into dignity for the needy through ‘Gandhiji Bank'
KHAMMAM: What happens to clothes that no longer spark joy or fit into our lives? While some trade them for steel utensils, in Madhira, they become sacred offerings. Guided by the belief that serving humanity is serving God, Lanka Kondayya, a Gandhian in action, has transformed his home on Azad Road into the soul of the Mahatma Gandhi Free Old Clothes Centre, also known as the 'Gandhiji Bank'. Every Sunday, his residence hums with the energy of a tribal market, but instead of goods for sale, it's compassion on display. Donors stream in from Madhira and neighbouring areas, carrying bundles of used clothes. Some drop them off; others simply call, and Kondayya, along with volunteers, collects them. These clothes are then distributed to the poor, the sick, and beggars who arrive at his doorstep. For the elderly, widows and the disabled, he personally delivers the clothes to their homes. Kondayya, a government health supervisor by profession, devotes his holidays and free time to this cause. Speaking to TNIE, Kondayya, popularly known as Asha Mitra, says, 'I once came across a child who didn't have any clothes. I felt terrible and immediately offered to bring him some from my home. But what he said stayed with me: 'You will help me, but what about the others? How will they manage?' After that, I started noticing patterns. During my work-related travels, I saw thousands of people without food or clothing. I couldn't unsee it. That's when I decided to do something. I tried to inculcate the values and teachings of a great man like Mahatma Gandhi in my mission.'
The Print
21 hours ago
- The Print
Why do women reject men so brutally? It's kinder than breadcrumbing
Nobody approaches anyone at clubs or parties. Gen Z prefers being ghosted on dating apps to the sting of a real-life 'no'. Some of us share the crests and troughs of our lives with strangers on not less than two to three apps, only to be unmatched mid-trauma dump—because they found someone hotter in the queue. Then there are the masochists who get into situationships. They get rejected by the same person every day. Now, that is commitment. Just ask anyone who's hit their daily 'like' limit on Hinge, only to be met with silence—five swipes, zero matches, and a bruised ego. For instant healing, you aggressively swipe left on everyone who liked you. But don't quote me on that, I will deny everything. Romantic rejection is a rite of passage, and everyone's either a victim or a villain. Online dating was designed to dodge it at all costs. But—surprise, surprise—it only gave rejection a software update. The new-age dating scene thrives on polite confusion. The painful clarity of 'I don't like you' is replaced with the more gutting 'I don't like you… enough'. There's always one person in a casual relationship burning the midnight oil for a boyfriend or girlfriend title, only to be slapped with a friend-with-benefits role, or a weekend hookup appointment. It's rejection in layers, or you can call it death by a thousand paper cuts. Grieving online Cultural critics blame the dating apps for the growing fear of rejection among Gen Z and for relationships that feel like an elaborate humiliation ritual. Content creators and dating experts on Instagram post carousels on how to rise above rejection. It's not you, it's them—that's the basic TED talk. Daters are advised to take it as a blessing, a redirection to better things. Because there are now a million ways someone can reject you, the online good Samaritans are also helping people read hidden signs in vague text messages and silent body language. Psychologists, on the other hand, are diagnosing people with rejection sensitivity dysphoria—a condition where rejections feel catastrophic. In simple therapy speak, the only treatment is 'healing your inner child'. The Jesus fanbase is spreading its own propaganda: 'So what he doesn't want you? God loves you.' To fact-check this claim, you must reach out to the press office in heaven. On the unhinged side—aka the interesting one—the discourse takes a juicier turn. The advice you get there sounds petty, but it works like a charm. Reject them before they reject you. Switch off the blue tick on WhatsApp, so you never know at what point you were ghosted. Always go for people uglier than you, so there's less risk of disappointment. 'People who are both job hunting and swiping on dating apps are burning the stick of dynamite at both ends,' read one tweet. Someone replied: 'I've been thinking about and then deciding not to even try to redownload a dating app every few days while I've been job hunting because I can only handle so much rejection at once.' Trust us to not suffer quietly through the pangs of unrequited love. We grieve online—via cryptic captions, sad girl playlists, and 20-minute voicenotes to our besties. Some of us even descend into the digital underworld of subtweets and AITA threads to roast our former flings. 'I gave the ugly guy a chance and he had the gall to block me,' one post read. It's still healthier than how some people handle rejection. Also read: Romance has the urgency of breaking news now. Dating apps are editorial fodder Danger: Rejections ahead While nobody takes rejection well, newspaper headlines reveal that it turns men into murderers, stalkers, and rapists. A 27-year-old chartered accountant said she blames her 'strict landlord' every time she wants to tell a man she can't bring him home after a lousy first date. This is not to rob women of their own predatory, pushy streak. Convinced of their fairy-like qualities, some of them can't digest that a man can reject them. Raanjhanaa's Kundan looks like a noob chaser compared to them. A Delhi-based man snubbed his one-night stand at least 20 times, and yet she wouldn't give up hounding him online and offline. She'd crash every party thrown by their mutual friends, just to grill him about why he won't return her calls. Worried about being bad-mouthed, the man caved and went on one more date with her. She didn't have fun that day, so she told him to never text her again. Love may be dead, but audacity lives on. Men also frequently call out women for being brutal in the way they reject them. The memes start with 'Worst she can say is no' and end with a punchline that would scar a person for life. In a viral text exchange doing rounds on social media, a guy asks a girl to clarify if he's her lover, sidepiece, friend, etc. She replies, 'Etc.' Who would survive this? In our defence, women say it's better to destroy someone in one blow than keep them hanging for months. 'I refuse to act like men who give breadcrumbs of affection for months till the other person takes the hint,' said a serial rejecter working in finance. The delivery is savage, but the intention is often mercy. Rejection has wrecked some people to the point that they've taken the involuntary celibacy route. Thanks to desi matrimony, not everyone will die single. Our parents are more than happy to take over the burden—and get rejected on our behalf. You can't pay me enough to take that route. I've spent enough on therapy to know I'm not everyone's cup of tea—and that's fine. This article is part of a series of columns on modern dating in India—the good, the bad and the cuddly. Views are personal. The author tweets @ratanpriya4. (Edited by Prasanna Bachchhav)
