'Golden Bachelor' Mel Owens said he would 'cut' anyone over 60. Here's what he gets wrong about midlife dating
'[The producers] asked me, 'What's your preference?' So I just said 45 to 60, just being honest,' Owens, 66, told host Jon Jansen on the "In the Trenches" podcast. 'We had lunch with the executive producer. I said, 'You know, if they're 60 or over, I'm cutting them.''
'Well, they got to be fit because I stay in shape, should work out and stuff," he continued. "And I told them, you know, try to stay away from the artificial hips and the wigs, you know, that kind of stuff, right?'
Psychotherapist Jason Fierstein says while it's important to remember that The Golden Bachelor is a TV show, Owens's comments are 'somewhat' reflective of broader cultural attitudes. 'I do think that this kind of thinking correlates with male loneliness and depression, especially at [Owens's] age,' he says. 'I've seen several narcissistic men in this age range say the same things — that they're looking for someone 'hot' and 20 years younger. They may very well get that kind of partner, especially if they have money to offer, but does that really provide real love and lasting connection?'
It's a question the show flirts with, but even as audiences get swept up in the romance of lavish dinner dates and whirlwind courtships, Owens's comments reveal something more troubling and something many women over 50 already know too well: being told they're too old to be considered desirable.
With so much emphasis placed on youth, fitness and sexual appeal, it's no wonder that dating can feel discouraging for older women.
Why are men skeptical to date women over 60 — or 50, or 45?
Where does this mindset come from? Fierstein says that for many men, it boils down to fear.
'Men are afraid of aging and death,' he says. 'I think the whole idea of women having an 'expiration date' — like they're cartons of milk — is another form of objectification. It's a way for men to avoid taking responsibility for their own aging process. Getting older means losing control, and that terrifies a lot of men, especially those who have spent their lives chasing power and status.'
It's a way for men to avoid taking responsibility for their own aging process. Getting older means losing control, and that terrifies a lot of men.Jason Fierstein, psychotherapist
From an evolutionary standpoint, Fierstein adds, older men often view relationships with younger women as a way to preserve virility and a sense of relevance.
'It becomes a psychological buffer against aging,' he says. 'If younger women want to be with you, it makes you feel desirable, powerful and even immortal, in a way. It's also about legacy and permanence.'
Where does that leave aging women looking for love and companionship? According to Bela Gandhi — relationship expert at DateMyAge, founder of Smart Dating Academy and host of the Smart Dating Academy podcast — we shouldn't accept the belief that we're 'too old' to be desired. Instead, we should eliminate it.
Shifting the 'too old' narrative
'First, we need to recognize that the belief that we're 'too old' is rooted in societal messaging — not truth,' she says. 'I remind women daily that attraction isn't just about age; it's about connection, shared values and emotional availability.'
She encourages women to ditch internalized narratives like: 'My value decreases as I age,' 'men only want younger women' and, especially, 'it's too late for me.' The truth? Your life experience, resilience and clarity increase your desirability.
She's says that's something she's seen firsthand with clients — love stories of women in their 70s finding connection with men their own age, and even younger. 'If someone doesn't want you because of your 'number,' bless and release them. We want someone who will adore and treasure us.'
And while she acknowledges that dating spaces still often spotlight youth — and that culturally (and evolutionarily) we've been conditioned to link desirability with youthfulness, especially for women — she believes that narrative is finally shifting.
'In fact, the latest research from DateMyAge, a virtual platform for people 45+, shows that 84 per cent of older Americans say they're more confident in what they want as they age, and that confidence is magnetic,' she says.
'Older women bring something far more valuable than just looks. They bring wisdom, clarity, emotional intelligence and an incredible sense of self. Confidence is the new sexy. I always tell my clients: What's youthful about you isn't your age — it's your energy and your spark,' she says.
That self-confidence, Fierstein adds, is something emotionally mature men deeply value.
Older women bring something far more valuable than just looks. They bring wisdom, clarity, emotional intelligence and an incredible sense of self. Confidence is the new sexy.Bela Gandhi, relationship expert
'I think men who lack the insight or the sophistication into knowing themselves will tend to choose superficially, and not choose older women who would be more on par with them emotionally, intellectually, with their values or shared sense of the world,' he says. 'I think more emotionally mature men would choose older women because they're not threatened by what an older woman could bring to their lives, and they can see past some of the superficiality and pure physical/sexual attraction component to see a woman for all that they are — not just in those ways.'
50+ dating challenges? Advice
If you feel disheartened by ageism in dating, Gandhi says 'ageism says more about them than you.'
'The key is to surround yourself with affirming spaces and people — both online and offline. Focus on people and platforms that celebrate your age group, and remember that meaningful love isn't a numbers game; it's about quality, not quantity,' she continues. 'Keep showing up as your authentic, beautiful self. And lean into your courage — making the first move isn't just OK; it's empowering!'
One of Gandhi's favourite client success stories is that of a woman in her early 50s who came to her after a difficult divorce.
'She initially believed she was 'too old' for love and nearly gave up,' Gandhi recalls. 'But she committed to shifting her mindset, embraced dating with joy and curiosity and focused on what she wanted in a partner — and what would make her feel happy — rather than what she feared.
"She even made the first move on an app. And guess what? She met an incredible man who adores her exactly as she is. They're now planning a wedding.'
Her story, Gandhi says, proves what she's witnessed time and again: Love has no expiration date.
'In fact, many of my happiest clients have found deep, lasting love after 50,' she says. 'It's never too late to write your next love story.'
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
6 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Travis Kelce posted pictures of him and Taylor Swift to show 'how serious things have become'
Travis Kelce shared a carousel of photos from his off-season to Instagram and included Taylor Swift in seven of them.
Yahoo
9 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Acting royalty Helen Mirren at 80 - 'Don't ever tell me to grow old gracefully!'
Dame Helen Mirren is as fearless, feisty and adventurous as ever. And as she celebrates her 80th birthday today, 26 July, she can certainly rest in the knowledge that she remains one of Britain's most ageless actors - one who has always pushed tirelessly against the idea of how long a woman can remain 'relevant' - particularly on-screen. The national treasure, who has played a whole host of iconic roles, from Detective Jane Tennison in the television series Prime Suspect to her Oscar-winning turn as Queen Elizabeth II in 2006 film The Queen reveals the secrets to her 40-year relationship with husband director Taylor Hackford. She also reveals she never plans a thing when it comes to the future - and why, as she prepares to celebrate her milestone birthday, the last thing she wants to hear is that she looks 'good for her age' or worse, that she's 'ageing gracefully'... How is your approach to ageing gracefully helping you with turning 80? I am not ageing gracefully at all! I hate that term - it sounds like you have to be elegant and accepting, and, no, I am not. I am ageing with fun, with commitment but not gracefully. Who cares about graceful? We just do grow older, there's no way you can escape that. You have to grow up with your own body, your own face and the way it changes. It's not always easy but it is inevitable. You have to learn to accept it. How do you feel when someone says you look good for your age? Insulted (laughs). You look good for your age is patronising. I hate that kind of comment. Be prepared, if you use that phrase, to be dissed in a major way! You've often credited the 1950s Canadian Air Force program for keeping you looking so fit and healthy... That's true. I have to admit, I don't do it so much now, and I should get back into it. It is a great way to get fit. You just do what they tell you to do. You start very low and you think, 'Oh, this is just much too easy.' And if it is, then you start making it more difficult for yourself. Then you go, 'Oh my God, no, this is really difficult.' It can be quite challenging, but it works. It's great.' What are your top tips to keep looking and feeling good? It's as important to make the inside of you, as healthy as the outside of you. I always go everywhere with my vitamins. That is probably the most important thing in my beauty bag, actually. What you eat, what you drink, what you don't smoke, really makes a massive difference to your skin, especially as you progress through life. It's incredibly important to feed the inside of your skin, as much as the outside of your skin.' How has your relationship with beauty and image changed over the years? The majority of us are not beautiful. There are beautiful people who walk on this planet, and we can all see them and appreciate them, but the majority of us are not beautiful like that. But, we can put on style, we can put on swagger, we can put on confidence, we can put on wit and charm, and lots of other things that are just as attractive as sheer beauty. So, I think in a way, that word - beauty - it alienates people. It did for me, for many years, I have to say. Is there anything you've learned about beauty that you wish you'd known when you were younger? Yes, to let go of the concept of beauty. Think of confidence. Think swagger. Enjoy beauty where you see it, absolutely, but let go of it for yourself. Don't let it influence your thinking in any way. I remember being in my thirties and being told, if I used this cream, I could look like I was a teenager again, with absolutely no marks of any living whatsoever. That annoyed me. Luckily, we have gone way beyond that. Where does your own confidence and swagger come from? It took a while and I'm still working on it. I was very, very insecure as a young person. My body was the wrong shape. I was very insecure around people. The most important thing is to remember that probably everybody feels the same.' You play many strong, ferocious characters on-screen. Are you anything like them in real-life? I wouldn't say I'm ferocious. I'm a total wimp. I'm not a confrontational person at all. I can be argumentative sometimes - more so when I was younger. I would defend positions that I thought were correct. I have always been a feminist, and argumentative but, I don't think I am ferocious. Maybe people would have a different idea of me, I don't know. How do you look back on your career up to now? Yes, well, you know, I think I was brave. I have to say, as a young actress, I think I was courageous. I was. And keen to break down attitudes that I thought were old-fashioned, or retrograde, or just wrong, you know. So, I relished having roles. That is the great thing about drama, is that it can do that, without being lecturing because it is entertaining at the same time. It can really change people's attitudes about things.' Have you always been at ease with being in the spotlight? No, not at all. A lot of actors become actors because they are shy, in a way. They find being themselves quite difficult, so it is much easier to become someone else. I think that was the case with me, to a certain extent, certainly when I started.' Your next film is The Thursday Murder Club. What can you tell us about that? It's based on the extremely successful Thursday books. It's with a some beloved fellow British actors and it's a very British subject. I'm really excited about it. Do you still feel British - though you're a big Hollywood star, live in America and have an American husband? I do. I'm very proud to be British and it's funny because even in America I seem to be surrounded by Brits. It's full of them! The world has become so much smaller. You and your husband have been together for 40 years and married for more almost 30. What's your secret? I think it helps that we're both in the same business. We understand what we each go through and the demands on your time. But the main thing is trust. As long as you trust and respect each other, and are not jealous of each other, then it works. We came into the relationship already very grown-up, so all of that crap was out of the way. And it's not such a bad thing to be separated for two or three weeks from time to time. That's fine, as long as you trust each other and really look forward to seeing each other again. Finally, what are your plans for this next chapter of your life? I have no idea. You know, when I was 20, I didn't know what my twenties would be like. I didn't know what my thirties would be like... I still have no idea and that's the adventure. Life is an adventure. I don't plan anything. I don't expect anything. I will just allow life to come and hit me, the way it always has. READ MORE: Dermalogica's four-piece anti-ageing skincare bundle is now £31 for a limited time
Yahoo
26 minutes ago
- Yahoo
'Luckiest Mama' Brooke Shields Makes Meaningful Family Move With Her Daughters
'Luckiest Mama' Brooke Shields Makes Meaningful Family Move With Her Daughters originally appeared on Parade. Brooke Shields just took the cool mom title to a whole new level. The iconic actress shared a glimpse of her deep bond with her daughters Rowan Francis Henchy and Grier Hammond Henchy, whom she shares with her husband, film director Christopher Thomas Henchy. On Instagram, the 60-year-old star uploaded a photo of herself and her daughters, showing off their matching new tattoos. Shields has one tattoo that says 'and to a party,' while another is a drawing of high heels, both of which her daughters now proudly match. Besides the unexpected mother-daughter bonding, she also penned a sweet message to them, expressing her joy and gratitude at sharing such a meaningful moment. 'Heard national tattoo day was last week… how lucky am I to have daughters who want to match with me permanently? Truly the luckiest mama,' she wrote. The post immediately caught the attention of her followers and fans, many of whom praised the sweet gesture. 'Your matching tattoos are so cute! You have gorgeous girls, Brooke,' one wrote. 'Love your tattoos,' another added. Another fan chimed in, noting 'nothing seems cooler' than a well-placed tattoo!' 'D*** girl, you did motherhood right. And after all you had to deal with… Bravo,' a follower said. A fifth social media user echoed the same sentiment and remarked, 'These are so sweet!' Meanwhile, a fan mentioned, 'That's pure Love.' The mother of two shares a close bond with her daughters. The Blue Lagoon star once revealed they're not shy about giving her honest fashion feedback. "They don't like me in Upper East Side lady clothes,' she told People in 2023, adding, 'They like me much edgier.''Luckiest Mama' Brooke Shields Makes Meaningful Family Move With Her Daughters first appeared on Parade on Jul 21, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 21, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword