'I've been invited to a wedding hours away for the evening reception - is it real?'

Daily Record

5 days ago

Scots love a wedding but it's unclear whether it's insulting or not a big deal to only be invited to the night part
There is no denying the fact that Scottish people love a good wedding. From kilts and Ceilidh dancing to rapturous renditions of Runrig's Loch Lomond that will undoubtedly erupt at the end of the night, we know how to celebrate.
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If you are the one getting married, though, deciding on attendees is tough. Who's coming for the main ceremony? Are kids allowed? And what about that third cousin twice removed your mother really wants you to invite?
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Perhaps one of the most contentious decisions is who to ask to the evening reception, and whether the guests will perceive this as a snub. This is the situation of one woman who has taken to Mumsnet to ask for some advice.
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Taking to the platform recently, the woman shared her dilemma, writing: "An old friend had been telling me that I was going to be 'invited to her wedding'. Lovely, would be nice to go.
"Invite arrived and it's for the evening reception after dinner. So essentially 8pm - midnight for a boogie.
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"It's about four hours drive from my house and on a working day. I could stay with my parents so that's not the issue.
"[The issue is] do we think an invite to an evening reception is a real wedding invite?"
Essentially, the woman is wondering whether to make the long journey to toast her friend's new life with her partner, or to politely decline the invite and not make the effort, because the evening reception doesn't merit it.
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The replies came in thick and fast with users airing their thoughts and feelings on the move.
Some thought the evening invitation was "rude" and thought if the woman went, it would just be "awkward".
"Has she kept numbers down for the main part due to money?" one enquired.
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"It's a big ask to travel four hours for the evening in a work night. I would probably decline."
Another commented: "I think evening only invitations are cheeky for people that need to travel. It should just be for local acquaintances. If she actually told you that you were being invited then it's quite rude."
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A third scribed: "Wedding evening do arrivals are often kind of awkward, although I would go if it was near home and a work colleague or similar. Many of the guests will have been drinking for hours, and they've been there all day so they are all discussing how lovely it all was and there are you arriving sober at 8pm.
"No thanks. Send a card, wish her the best, think no more of it."
However, others were more accepting, and said they don't have an issue with rocking up to the evening do.
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"You're only an 'old friend' so that's usually standard for a evening invite," one reasoned.
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"You are an old friend so why do you think you should be invited to the sit down part?" another questioned. "If you don't want to go - don't go. I've never understood the outrage over evening invites."
A more neutral user concluded: "I've no issue with evening invites. I think it's lovely to be able to include extra people in your day but if someone said I was invited to their wedding, yes, I would assume the day.
"I wouldn't travel far for an evening do, though, or incur extra expenses such as hotel."