I'm an older mum and don't think women should have kids over 40 – a school gate comment floored me, don't do it

The Sun

5 hours ago

MOTHERHOOD is often painted as a picture-perfect experience, but for one woman who became a mum in her 40s, the reality has been far more complicated.
Sharing her story on TikTok, she opened up about how a comment at the school gates from the other mums left her feeling deeply uncomfortable.
3
3
Sheena, who is known as ' sheena_tiktokreviews ' on TikTok, captioned the video: 'Don't do it…. Don't even think about it…. #kids #kidsafter40 #over40 #over50.'
Reflecting on the early days of motherhood, she explained that 'when you have kids' at the age of 40 'it's lovely'.
However, as her children grew older, she began to face unexpected challenges - and one moment stands out above the rest.
Now she is at the age when she will head to the school playground to pick up her kids and other parents will ask how old she is, to which she will reply 48.
But she then reveals that other parents will then end up saying that she is the same age as their mum.
Sheena says: 'Do you think that makes me feel good about myself? I'm going to tell you now, it doesn't. I'm the same age as your kid's grandma.'
Her honesty has sparked a debate online, with some praising her for speaking out while others argue that age shouldn't determine a woman's ability to be a good parent.
Within 24 hours her video gained 84,000 views and 483 comments.
One wrote: 'I am 45 and my kids are middle school age. I am exhausted. Have kids when you are young and have energy!'
A second added: 'Ummm I had my son at 41, I'm turning 44 in a couple of weeks and about to start trying for a second! …. Just lie, they won't know!'
The Playdate Payment Debate: Fair or Bonkers?
While a third commented: 'I didn't plan on having my second at 44. It happened.
'My body believed it could do it. I wouldn't change my younger years.'
But someone else said: 'Agree. My mom had me at 41. It isn't a good idea.'
To which another person responded: 'My parents had me when they were older.
3
'Never had any problems.
'It is a more personal thing where you might feel older than other parents at your children's school.
"And I agree, 41 now is different to 41 back in the days.
'We are entering an ageing population, low birth rates due to cost of living and people choosing to have kids later on in life.'
Secrets of a school headteacher
By the Secret Schoolteacher
I STARTED working in schools in 1996, when parents respected teachers and left us alone to do our jobs. Not any more.
Nowadays parents think nothing of barging into schools to read teachers the riot act if their precious child has been told off, or they'll send angry emails in the middle of the night. Warning — it doesn't make you popular.
I've worked in all manner of schools across the south west of England, from state schools to private, and I can tell you that right now many teachers are dreading the start of the new school year.
They're braced for tears and tantrums, not just from their pupils but from their parents too.
Believe me, if you are an annoying parent it will spread round the staff room like wildfire.
So whether it's your kid's first day at a new school, or they're moving up a year, these are the things you do that drive teachers crazy . . .
Parents often turn up at the school gates complaining how frazzled they are, moaning that teachers must have had a nice long holiday while their six weeks stuck with the kids was the worst.
Nothing could be further from the truth. For the first two weeks I'll almost certainly have been struck down by a lurgy which always seems to strike on the first day of the holiday.
The next two weeks might have been an actual holiday, just like the average Brit takes in the summer, followed by two weeks of frantic lesson planning and administration.
Also, consider that I've probably been working over 50 hours per week during term time. Contrary to popular opinion, we don't clock off at 3pm.
Instead, we're roped into all manner of after-school activities and meetings before going home to do marking and more lesson planning. Please don't turn up and make sarcastic remarks about our 'six weeks off'.
We won't be happy.