Mother Accuses Her 16-Year-Old Daughter of Being ‘Selfish' for Not Wanting to Go Shopping with Her: ‘I Am So Sad'
A Mumsnet user said her father had been unwell for some time before his upsetting death this week
She explained that her 16-year-old daughter is refusing to go shopping with her despite knowing that she's grieving
The mom described her daughter as "cold-hearted' and 'selfish" for leaving her to go shopping on her ownA mother is brokenhearted after her teenage daughter refused to accompany her on a shopping trip.
The mom explained in a post on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet that it's been a 'tough week' as her dad died after being unwell for some time. She said her 16-year-old daughter initially agreed to go shopping with her, but has since gone back on her word.
'It's 2 pm and she is still sleeping,' the mom said of her daughter. 'I asked her to come and she said she can't be a----. I said I would really like her company as I am so sad, and it would be nice not to go out alone. But she kept saying she can't be bothered and just continued to sleep."
The mom continued. 'She has always been quite selfish and sometimes very rude. However, I know if a friend asks her to go out now, she would immediately get up and go. But just not for me.'
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The mother asked if she was unreasonable to think her daughter is 'cold-hearted' and 'selfish,' while adding, 'This is not the first time I felt like this about her.'
The post garnered many responses with commenters divided on whether the mother was expecting too much from her teenage daughter.
'Totally unreasonable, she's 16!! She's not a peer, stop treating her like one,' one person said.
'She's too young for you to put the responsibility of emotional support person on her,' another chimed in. 'Your daughter is not cold-hearted or selfish, she's being a normal teenager. It's you that sounds self-centred tbh [to be honest].'
A third said, 'Is dd [dear daughter] grieving for her granda, were they close? Her saying she cba could be teen speak for I've lost someone I love and I'm dealing with it by staying in my bed right now. People grieve in different ways.'
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However, others disagreed and argued that 16 is old enough to be able to show empathy.
'She's not a little girl, it wouldn't hurt her to be kind,' a commenter wrote. 'Teenagers can be selfish, but under the circumstances, she could make more of an effort. I'm sorry about your dad, it's a very hard time.'
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Another said, 'YANBU [you are not being unreasonable]. 16's a selfish age, I was selfish at 16, but in hindsight, I think my parents should not have tolerated as much as they did.
'Obviously it wouldn't be right for OP [original poster] to lean too heavily on her teen DD [dear daughter], but requesting a bit of company when grieving is hardly treating her as a 'crutch' as a pp claimed,' they continued. '16's old enough to start learning empathy/compassion and basic consideration for others, and that the world doesn't revolve around one's own whims.'
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