Man Won't Change 'Smelly' Dinner Order For Girlfriend

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19-05-2025

You know the "olive theory" from How I Met Your Mother? The idea that if one person in a couple loves olives and the other hates them, it's a sign they're soulmates — perfect opposites who balance each other out. Cute, right? But after reading one guy's story on the AITA subreddit, I'm starting to think that theory only works with olives... and not, say, seafood paella. Here's the story:
"I (27M) have been dating Emily (25F) for about a year. She's an amazing person, but she can be a bit picky with food. I'm generally easygoing, but I really enjoy trying new dishes when we eat out."
"Last weekend, we went to a nice restaurant, and I ordered a seafood paella. Emily ordered a chicken dish for herself. When my food arrived, she wrinkled her nose and said, 'Ugh, that smells so strong. I don't think I can eat my food with that next to me.'"
"I was caught off guard and asked if she wanted to switch seats, but she said, 'No, I just think it'd be better if you ordered something else.' I told her I was really looking forward to trying the paella and that she should just focus on her own food. She got upset and said I was being inconsiderate of her discomfort."
"She barely touched her food and was quiet for the rest of the meal. Later, she told me I was selfish for not making a small compromise when she was clearly uncomfortable."
"I feel like I shouldn't have to change my meal just because she didn't like the smell, but now I'm wondering if I was being dismissive."
"Am I the asshole?" he asked at the end of the post. And plenty of people answered:
Over a thousand people chimed in with their opinions, thoughts, and analyses of the man's predicament. The top comment from full_pace7666 was: "This is utterly preposterous." Opinions of how he should proceed varied, but one thing was unanimous: something in their relationship needs to be addressed.
Some people were stuck on the logistics of trying to send back the paella or order something new:
"He already has his food. What is his reason for sending it back? If I were the restaurant, he would be paying for both meals if his only reason was 'my GF doesn't like the smell.' And paella usually isn't cheap to begin with."
"Yeah, and paella isn't a food you pack away to eat later either. You want to eat it as soon as it's served. I appreciate that some people have a very strong sense of smell and can easily be nauseated, but there are better ways to deal with that than controlling what other people eat."
Many thought the girlfriend simply needed to get a grip:
"To order a whole different meal that she's not going to have any part of because she doesn't like the smell isn't a 'small compromise.'"
"Maybe she needs to literally touch grass. I feel like microwaved tuna and durian are really the only two foods people should veto based on how they smell, and I'm not even that pressed about the tuna."
"This is even worse than that. I can imagine, for example, a pregnant vegetarian asking their spouse not to order the fish. But saying nothing at the time it was ordered, then sending it away after it arrives, is another level of rude and entitled."
"If it's been a thing for her most, if not all, of her life, then she either needs to pack some nose plugs or insist they eat outside."
People who struggle with hypersensitivity to smells shared their thoughts and potential solutions:
"I can track a blood trail through the forest to my kill...I've never once told someone they couldn't order something because I didn't like the smell."
"I easily get nauseous with smells, but I would never tell my boyfriend or kids they couldn't eat something because of the smell..."
"I have major sensory issues, and keep a strongly scented mint lip gloss in my purse. Pop that stuff on and all the other smells go bye-bye. Works like a charm since I love mint."
"Having hyperosmia and getting a migraine if I am around extremely overpowering smells... I've never asked someone to order something different. If this GF is THAT sensitive she must have learned already to carry something to block the scent in her nose or just, IDK, breathe through your damn mouth."
Some users resonated with the story and shared times they've been in similar situations, with slightly different circumstances:
"I had a similar experience with my wife many years ago. However, she happened to be pregnant. I did change my order."
"My wife had her meal comped because of the smell one time. My wife has an issue with chicken; even the smell can make her sick to her stomach. We were at a Cajun place and went to a lot. She ordered dirty rice, which was her usual order. The waiter set the plate down, and my wife got up and walked away."
So what do we think? Was he being dismissive, or does the girlfriend need a reality check? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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