Inside Look: The Ranch, Hudson Valley Review

Forbes

2 days ago

The Ranch Hudson Valley mansion in Sloatsburg, New York. The Ranch
You can tell a lot about a place by its phraseology. Here at the Ranch Hudson Valley, the newest outpost from the people who brought you the Ranch Malibu, there are a lot of therapists running around in yoga pants using breathy phrases like: 'Be present. Connect with your life force.' Or, 'You are not your body. You are your breath.' Or, the modern spa-goer's phrase du jour : 'This will heal you at the cellular level.'
Let's just say, if you have yet to experience 'Ranch Life,' go with a solid sense of humor, and you'll be just fine. Better, even. It is, after all, an award-winning wellness retreat with a 50% repeat guest return rate for a reason. Given the rigor of the Ranch's diet and exercise program, and the basic rules of biology, it's hard to imagine not seeing positive results. (During my four-day stint, I lost two pounds, gained ten new friends, and consumed absolutely zero alcohol. I'm now the kind of person who can proudly decipher lettuce varieties at my local farmer's market).
But first, a general word of warning: If any therapist anywhere promises to: 'heal you at the cellular level' without being able to explain how a treatment works — say, an IV vitamin drip or a high-frequency facial wand — first, laugh (because all humans are made of cells) and then seek the nearest exit. It's an obvious red flag, and a pervasive one in the $7.3 trillion wellness industry, which is and always has been vulnerable to pseudo-scientists and snake oil salesmen.
The Ranch's appeal is the opposite: No radical health claims, just a deep dedication to naturalism. Yes, there is a cushy kumbaya vibe (group hugs happen), but they've smartly avoided med-spa fads, and the buzzword 'longevity' is not bandied about. No one at the Ranch tells you that a three or four-day program will actually extend your life span. The original Malibu program is 6-8 days, not four. But Hudson Valley, NY attracts east coast A-types like the tech entrepreneurs, film producers and hedge fund managers who populated our June group. Good luck getting them to unplug for a full week; though ironically they're the ones who need it most.
Bring it in, you're on "Ranch time". Courtesy The Ranch
What the Ranch does instead is present you with healthy habits (while discreetly removing unhealthy options), in the hopes that you'll actually implement them. There are no short-cuts; this is better health, for the long haul. And screens are discouraged. During orientation in the Great Room, originally built in 1902, you'll hear something like this: 'Take this as an opportunity to disconnect from the outside world. Find some time to reconnect with yourself. If you participate in our digital detox, I highly encourage it. Let our team take care of you. We have been doing this, helping people move, using movement as medicine, food as medicine, and community as healing for over 15 years now,' says Stacy, the yoga instructor-slash-emcee. It all sounds very nice as you let yourself sink into plush cloud couches, sipping a creamy green smoothie while trying to resist the urge to take photos of the marble fireplace with your smartphone and just 'be present.' Then things get real:
This is the living room where orientation happens. Courtesy The Ranch
'You'll be working hard if you do the program all the way through, meaning six or more hours of exercise in a day. So work hard, and rejuvenate harder. Utilize our daily massages, our cold plunge and our infrared sauna,' she adds, before introducing Glenn, our trail guide. We'll be hiking Ramapo Lake Loop Trails in New Jersey and Claudius Smith's Den in Harriman State Park, New York—both stunning public trails which feature wild forest canopies, babbling brooks, rock formations and even waterfalls I never knew existed. He warns us about local wildlife, including black bears, brown snakes, copperheads and the occasional rattle snake: 'Just give them some time and space, and they'll slither out of sight in just a few minutes.'
Thankfully, we do not have any dangerous animal encounters on our excursions. And we're frankly far more concerned with checking our post-hike bodies for ticks (no bites were reported). But, six hours of exercise per day is no joke. The reprieve is simply that mornings and evenings are book-ended by yoga, stretching and 'breathwork,' which counts.
Yoga and fitness sessions occur in the mansion's former ballroom. Jennifer Leigh Parker Rise and Shine, Ranchers
The day begins promptly at 6am, at which point a staffer rings Tibetan bells outside your door to coax you from sweet slumber. You've got 30 minutes to suit up and get downstairs to the ballroom-turned-yoga studio, to commence morning yoga beneath the carved crown moldings of what used to be a roaring twenties ballroom. Then, everyone lines up for coffee rations (one cup a day), and sits down to breakfast in a beautiful, sun-dappled Orangery with views down the rolling lawn to Sheppard Pond. Farm-fresh eggs are offered for not-really-Vegans, and the deep bowls of hearty homemade Ranch granola with oat milk and blueberries are delightful. But don't lolly-gag. By 7:30am, everyone's out in the van. Our toes have been taped, we're lathered in sunblock, sprayed with insect repellant, and ready (or not) for a two or four hour morning hike. (You get to choose which group you're in at the two-hour mark).
After the hike, a van returns you to the English manor-style mudroom where you can ice your sore feet in silver bowls infused with lavender oil and rose petals (don't knock it until you've tried it). Then, lunch is served — such as veggie fajitas with Mexican wild rice and guacamole or cobb salad with Ranch vegan dressing — followed by an afternoon of massages and optional extras, which range from high-intensity strength training to high-colonics, reiki energy healing, meditation and journaling classes or hypnotherapy.
Yes, you could just take a nap and marvel at the fact that they've already done your laundry from the day before and laid it out on your insanely comfortable Beautyrest bed billowing with Vivreluxe sheets and Primaloft pillows (I checked). But the main event — communal dinner — is not to be missed. This is the social gathering where budding friendships are forged, and real connections are made.
The Orangery hosts intimate communal meals. Jennifer Leigh Parker
Dinner promptly begins at 7pm in the Orangery, allowing time for declarations of gratitude for the comforting meal placed before us by Executive Chef Michael Narciso. Candles have been lit, the mood is self-congratulatory (you made it through the day!) and the cacophony of conversation slowly rises like the steam hovering over our fancy-farmhouse dishes of basil crusted zucchini ravioli and miso butter leaf salad, which elegantly ends with cups of bourbon vanilla tea or sleepy citrus chamomile. Of course, someone inevitably cracks this chestnut: ' boy, I could really go for a slice of cheesecake right now!' Instead, we drink in the sweetness of summer solstice by meandering barefoot on the lawn as twilight descends slowly. One by one, we retreat to our respective quarters. Come fall and winter, this will become a crackling fireside ritual, and instead of cheesecake, we'll be swathed in flannel and longing for spiked hot chocolate.
If, at this point, you're thinking: There's no way I could do any of this , I, too, shared your sentiments. My initial train of thought went something like: I'm a night owl, not a morning person! I don't need a tiny bell, so much as caffeinated jumper cables to get out of bed at 6am. Espresso and red wine are my two favorite food groups, and why should 'healthy' mean depriving myself of life's small but great pleasures? And if I so much as faintly hear the rattle of a snake, that's it, I'm retreating to this corner of the couch and clutching my mug of ginger turmeric tea and reading a Shteyngart novel until it's time for bed!
But I stick it out. Because mixing peer pressure with a strict routine actually works. You do it because everyone here (25-30 people max) is doing it with you. There's a powerfully cohesive 'we're in this together' mental glue that has the amazing effect of making people do things they're visibly uncomfortable doing — like cold plunging and weight lifting — with a smile. Because we're all blithely aware of the fact that this whole sweaty week of spandex and trading nighttime magnesium pills like contraband with high-strung strangers without makeup is a privilege .
The newly refurbed entrance is a Steven Gambrel signature. Courtesy The Ranch New Owners, New Era?
The Ranch Malibu was established in the Santa Monica Mountains by Alex and Sue Glasscock fifteen years ago and quickly earned a reputation as a weight-loss bootcamp disguised as a luxury wellness retreat, with cultural significance. This was around the time the 'Biggest Loser' tv show was peaking in popularity, and of course, before America had access to Ozempic and GLP-1 drugs. Fast forward to today, and Malibu continues to attract people from all over the country looking not just for weight loss, but for full 'resets.'
On the East Coast, the Glasscocks saw a new opportunity in the form of a 40,000-square-foot stone mansion set on a verdant 200-acre plot in the Hudson Valley, which is looking more like Napa every day. Originally, the mansion was a wedding gift from JP Morgan to his daughter in 1907. Today, it's looking better than ever. The Glasscocks tapped A-list interior designer Steven Gambrel to transform the property's guest rooms, spa, and former ballroom. The result is a stately mansion with 26 sophisticated guest rooms layered in deep blues and warm gray tones, creating an aesthetic that blends classical American design with contemporary functionality. There are wood-burning fireplaces, quiet reading nooks, and a new solarium and sauna — all anchored around a grand marble staircase that, come morning, is bathed in ethereal light.
The refurb was complete by early 2024, when the property opened to guests and Town Lane Investment Group made an (undisclosed) offer Alex and Sue couldn't refuse. They sold the company, and Town Lane quickly hired London-born Victoria Nickle, a Four Seasons wellness veteran, to act as President and CEO. 'Town Lane felt that they needed someone to come in and oversee the day to day operation, of course. But it's also about strategy: What does the Ranch look like for the next five to 10 years?' said Nickle during our sit-down interview.
Typically, when original owners back away and an investment group takes over, profits get prioritized over experience. But there are a lot of influential eyes on this property, with avid fans. Will the heart of the program remain intact or be changed to fuel an expansion?
Here's what Nickle revealed: This fall, there are plans to expand the dock on the lake, known as Sheppard Pond, where guests will be able to kayak. They will begin to plant a vegetable and herb garden on their 200-acres (farm animals are not in the cards, given the price of animal feed). They are also talking to the New York and New Jersey Trail Association to create private trails in Harriman State Park for Ranch guests. In winter, snowshoeing and tobogganing down the hill are added to the lineup.
The much bigger change is dietary. 'For the first time in Ranch history, probably around fall of this year, we will be introducing some organic, sustainable animal proteins. We've been vegan all of this time, which has stood us really well. Plant based is still always going to be our number one philosophy. But for the past couple of years protein has been such a big topic. And we've seen people sneaking protein bars into their guest rooms throughout the program,' says Nickle, chuckling. 'Well, this is how coffee started, right?'
This is true. When guests start sneaking secret coffee grounds, staffers pay attention. But it does sound like a slippery slope. In my humble opinion, not having meat on the menu was a nice break, as was not having wine on the table. What's next, martinis and cigars?
Having previously served as Executive Director for the Center for Health and Well-being at Four Seasons in California's Westlake Village, she knows her clientele. With emphasis, she adds: 'We want to give people the choice. That word is probably the biggest thing that will come into the Ranch in the future. Because it is a choice.' The Words That Stick
On the drive home, my backseat filled with charcoal-infused sea salt, lemon soap, and the phone numbers of ten new friends, I did in fact experience a rush of mental clarity. Having done all the meditation and the journaling, the lifting and the sweating, the heartfelt gratitude sharing and the sound bowl vibrating, I honestly felt energetic, open, and optimistic for things-to-come. A quack might say I was 'listening to my life force'... I think back to Carlos' excellent breathwork class, and what he said on day one: 'Your fulfillment is your responsibility.' By day four, I'm a believer, because I had allowed it to sink in. With a renewed sense of purpose and the roof pulled back, I cranked up the music and pressed on the accelerator. More From Forbes Forbes Luxury Fly Fishing Is A Thing — Where To Cast In Big Sky, Montana By Jennifer Leigh Parker Forbes Virgin Atlantic Unveils Free Starlink Wi-Fi, OpenAI Partnership And More By Jennifer Leigh Parker Forbes Why Now Is The Time To Sail The Azores, In 12 Stunning Photos By Jennifer Leigh Parker