EXCLUSIVE We're a married couple who have been swinging for eight years - sex with other people has had a 'really strange' effect on our relationship
A married couple who have been swinging for eight years say that sleeping with other people helps them reconnect and have a better sex life.
Olivia, 32, and Gage, 34, from Lincoln, had a newfound 'explosion of love' for each other after their first swinging experience and have remained 'madly in love' ever since.
The pair first got together when they were teenagers, but it wasn't until five years into their relationship that they decided to discuss having sex with other people.
The conversation happened naturally after Gage was interested in hearing whether bi-curious Olivia had been with another woman before.
She told MailOnline: 'It was just pillow talk and conversations.
'We were talking about if I had experienced ever being with a woman and I said actually, I have.
'It was a mind-blowing experience and it happened before I was with Gage.'
The talk soon turned to swinging, when the couple - who were newly married at the time - agreed that they would try opening up their relationship, together.
Gage - who was in the army for 11 years - signed up to a swinging app after his friend recommended it during a night shift. He said: 'We were shocked at how many people were in this lifestyle and do what we do because we had no idea.'
Although they had set out to meet a single woman to join them in the bedroom, Gage and Olivia ended up fooling around with a couple, which they say allowed them to connect deeply in their own relationship.
The other duo - who was in their area and a similar age - started messaging Gage and Olivia WhatsApp so they could get to know them better.
They chatted for six weeks before arranging for Olivia and Gage - who married in 2012 - to come over to their house for 'drinks' and it wasn't long before the group went upstairs for a 'fun time'.
Gage said: 'Seeing Olivia with another woman and another guy for the first time - it was a really strange feeling, it's quite a big turn on to see each other with other people.'
Olivia - who has 337,000 followers on TikTok - also described being so aroused by their successful first time, that she asked Gage to 'pull over so they could reconnect' during their drive home.
Gage said that many people assume that swingers are focused more on sex with other people, when in reality, they are longing to bond further with their partner.
He said: 'We never thought we could have another level of love or admiration with each other. That week, I didn't want to go to work, Olivia didn't want to do anything, we just wanted to stay in bed and cuddle and kiss and have sex with one another.
'We thought "Wow, is this actually a thing?" We couldn't wrap our heads around why we felt like this.'
Gage said that he and Olivia were going through the 'reconnection period' which is where you experience 'an explosion of love' for your partner after having a swinging session with others.
Flight attendant Olivia says she has to battle many misconceptions when it comes to swinging, with people accusing the couple of not being satisfied with each other. However, she says this couldn't be further from the truth.
'[They think] we don't love each other, or we want to cheat on each other,' she said. 'There are so many misconceptions but they are all wrong.'
Gage added that they often get comments on TikTok or Instagram with users comparing swinging to cheating.
He added: [They'll say] "You don't love each other because you wouldn't want to have sex with anybody else" but we always come back and ask whether they've had one night stands with anybody, because if that's the case, they're basically associating love with sex when they're two separate things.
'We've been married for a very long time. We are madly in love with each other and I am obsessed with her.'
Another myth about swingers is that they are riddled with STIs, which Gage says is false as they 'test often and we use protection'.
He said: 'The truth is that we've never caught one STI in the eight years we've done this. It's normal to send other couples certificates of being all clear before we play.'
Olivia said 'vanillas' - people who are monogamous - often think that swingers will sleep with anyone, when in fact, they are pickier than regular people.
'It's because I've got my partner, I've got sex on tap,' she laughed. 'We are very picky, especially if we're doing things together, it has to be right for both of us.'
Gage said another misconception is that swingers are 'absolutely sex mad'. He added: 'We are sexual human beings. Vanillas window shop, they have affairs, they'll see someone and wonder what it's like and we recognise that.
'People don't get that we're doing it with consent and not having affairs behind each other's backs.'
When asked about jealousy, the pair admitted that they do experience the emotion, but said that it is important how you channel it.
Gage likened it to the jealousy he feels when he sees someone else going on holiday, whereas Olivia said: 'I think "That's my husband and she got him but I get to have it all the time and she's lucky she got to experience it".'
The married couple also '100 per cent' believe that sex clubs are safer than regular nightclubs because of the level of vetting in place.
Olivia said: 'If you want to go to the club you have to have a membership and clubs will interview single guys and they might not give them a membership.
'There's no getting drunk and throwing up, there's nobody starting fights. Everyone knows you have to consent to touching and kissing. Whereas on a normal night out, people can be quite handsy with you. Everyone is so respectful.'
But while they're seasoned swingers now, their first time wasn't all smooth sailing as Olivia wanted to back out initially, adding that she found it all 'too weird'.
Gage said: 'We were absolutely nervous. I remember we pulled up to this other couple's house and as I pulled on to their drive, Olivia froze with nerves. Our arrangement was that it's just drinks, don't expect anything else but if there is something there, to not rule it out.
'I pulled onto the drive and the other couple saw us through the window and were waving at us. Olivia said "You're going to have to reverse and go home" and I said we couldn't because they had seen us.'
And they're glad they didn't, as they now founded a business based on their lifestyle, a swinging app called SwingHub, which now 50,000 verified users.
The majority are older Gen Zers and Millenials, with Gage noting that they've seen an increasing level of younger people becoming more sexually free.
Gage and Olivia were four years into swinging and had started posting about it online when they muscled up the courage to tell their families.
'We would make up little secrets and tell people were were going to engagement parties or barbeques and try to hide it because it's none of their business,' she said.
'But when we started posting on social media we thought that people we should start telling people but other people tell them.'
Gage described being nervous to call up his mother in the fear that she would not accept his lifestyle.
But she turned out to be very supportive, telling Gage that she thought their videos were were 'absolutely brilliant', and although some of Olivia's family had questions, they were also accepting.
When asked about the only downside to swinging, Olivia said that it can be very expensive and that a weekend can sometimes cost £400 for transport, hotel, the club fees and new lingerie.
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