Dear Abby: My husband still talks to his ex girlfriend — and wants to visit her
I told him it bothers me that they keep in touch, especially when they say they miss each other. My husband tells me they were 'there for each other' when they were younger. Recently, we took a road trip to Florida, and he wanted to stop off in Georgia to see her and so I could meet her. He says that because they never had sex, they weren't really 'going out.' It seems my feelings about this friendship don't matter. Please advise me, Abby. — UNCERTAIN IN CHICAGO
DEAR UNCERTAIN: I will assume that you nixed the idea of the detour to Georgia. If I'm right, then I think you may have made a mistake. Your husband had a relationship with that girl when they were teenagers. It isn't surprising that the memory of it is important to both of them. You stated that they don't communicate often. How is that a threat to you? You won't endear yourself to your spouse by keeping him on a short leash. Work on resolving your insecurities and loosen the reins. If you do, it will benefit your marriage.
DEAR ABBY: After six years of working closely together, I have developed a raging crush on my co-worker and project partner, 'Brett.' It's a full-on, face-flushing, daydreaming kind of situation, and it's super annoying. I know this crush is inappropriate and unreciprocated, and I have no intention of acting on it. We are both married, and I would like to stay that way. My strategy has been to spend less time together and work on not being a moron.
I've changed my daily schedule so we don't overlap as often. When we're traveling, I book different flights so we're not together all day, etc. The issue now is that I've heard from a different co-worker that Brett thinks I'm mad at him and that he's done something wrong, which is not the case. He's great, always professional and very good at his job. I don't want to keep hurting his feelings, but there's no way I'm going to tell him what's going on. Besides quitting or going on leave until I can get myself under control, what can I do? — STRICTLY BUSINESS IN THE SOUTH
DEAR STRICTLY: To discuss your crush with Brett would be not only embarrassing but also unprofessional. The co-worker who told you Brett thinks you are mad at him may have intended to be helpful, but unless Brett tells you himself, do not make excuses for distancing yourself. The surest way to get your crush under control is to keep reminding yourself that this kind of thing could destroy your career. That may work even better than a cold shower.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Solve the daily Crossword
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
Woman who lives on cruise ship reveals top ‘gross' habit she sees from guests
After living on a cruise ship for six months out of the year, a woman has pointed out the most disgusting habit she has seen from her fellow passengers. Christine Kesteloo, a 44-year-old business owner and content creator on TikTok, recently spoke to Unilad about what she notices when she is aboard the ship with her husband, who works as a chief staff engineer. While she told the publication that living on a cruise ship 'feels like a constant vacation,' she did admit that everything is not sunshine and rainbows. 'As far as gross [parts], I don't like when guests go to the buffet directly after the gym, [and] don't wash their hands,' Kesteloo said. Despite the drawback, the TikToker pointed out that she mostly enjoys her cruise life, noting that her ship only carries 1,400 passengers compared to larger and more commercial ships that house at least 5,000 people. 'Most of the 'myths' you have heard about cruise ships are wrong,' Kesteloo added. 'Yes, I do drink the water, and no, you can't fall overboard unless you are doing something you shouldn't. Cruising is safe.' However, the best part of living on a cruise ship, according to her, is the extra perks. 'I have been to 109 countries. I also don't have to pay for petrol, food, make my bed, do my laundry, or clean my room,' she said. Kesteloo also noted in an interview with The Mirror that every time she and her husband are on the ship, they stay in 'the best cabin in the whole entire ship.' The only amenity she does not take advantage of is the boat's casino. 'I am not allowed to sit at a slot machine and play my heart until I win because it would look a little weird if I, as the wife of the chief staff engineer, won like a big jackpot. So I am not allowed to gamble on the ship,' she said. And because her husband is an employee on the ship, she tries to ensure the guests are given priority over her. 'If the pool is packed, I make sure to get off and give the guests a seat, it's just the right thing to do,' Kesteloo said. 'I totally understand how to give guests the best time, and I don't think a crew member taking their seat is the right thing to do.' Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Yahoo
Australia Offers Lifeline Visa To Island Facing Rising Seas
Tuvalu, a tiny island nation in the Pacific, is slowly being swallowed by rising seas caused by climate change. Now, thousands of its citizens are trying to escape before it's too late. More than 5,000 people have applied for a groundbreaking new visa to relocate to Australia, marking the world's first official climate migration program. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: My husband still talks to his ex girlfriend — and wants to visit her
DEAR ABBY: When my husband was a teenager 20 years ago, he had a two-year online relationship with a girl who lives in Georgia. I know they met each other only a couple of times. We are all in our 30s now, and once in a great while, they contact each other by text or email. I told him it bothers me that they keep in touch, especially when they say they miss each other. My husband tells me they were 'there for each other' when they were younger. Recently, we took a road trip to Florida, and he wanted to stop off in Georgia to see her and so I could meet her. He says that because they never had sex, they weren't really 'going out.' It seems my feelings about this friendship don't matter. Please advise me, Abby. — UNCERTAIN IN CHICAGO DEAR UNCERTAIN: I will assume that you nixed the idea of the detour to Georgia. If I'm right, then I think you may have made a mistake. Your husband had a relationship with that girl when they were teenagers. It isn't surprising that the memory of it is important to both of them. You stated that they don't communicate often. How is that a threat to you? You won't endear yourself to your spouse by keeping him on a short leash. Work on resolving your insecurities and loosen the reins. If you do, it will benefit your marriage. DEAR ABBY: After six years of working closely together, I have developed a raging crush on my co-worker and project partner, 'Brett.' It's a full-on, face-flushing, daydreaming kind of situation, and it's super annoying. I know this crush is inappropriate and unreciprocated, and I have no intention of acting on it. We are both married, and I would like to stay that way. My strategy has been to spend less time together and work on not being a moron. I've changed my daily schedule so we don't overlap as often. When we're traveling, I book different flights so we're not together all day, etc. The issue now is that I've heard from a different co-worker that Brett thinks I'm mad at him and that he's done something wrong, which is not the case. He's great, always professional and very good at his job. I don't want to keep hurting his feelings, but there's no way I'm going to tell him what's going on. Besides quitting or going on leave until I can get myself under control, what can I do? — STRICTLY BUSINESS IN THE SOUTH DEAR STRICTLY: To discuss your crush with Brett would be not only embarrassing but also unprofessional. The co-worker who told you Brett thinks you are mad at him may have intended to be helpful, but unless Brett tells you himself, do not make excuses for distancing yourself. The surest way to get your crush under control is to keep reminding yourself that this kind of thing could destroy your career. That may work even better than a cold shower. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Solve the daily Crossword
