Mom Accused of 'Banning' Her Mother From Seeing Her Newborn Because They Don't Want 'Unsolicited Advice'

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14 hours ago

A woman on Reddit is dealing with her mom's insistence that she come over and spend time with her newborn despite giving birth mere weeks ago
She writes that her mom "has a history of prioritizing her own wants/desires over what others want"
Though she's tried to compromise, her mother is now complaining to other family members about her and her husband's decisionsA woman is wondering if she's in the wrong after her mother accused her of "banning" the older woman from seeing her new grandchild.
In a Reddit post, the anonymous woman writes, "My mother has a history of prioritizing her own wants/desires over what others want. I gave birth last week and invited her to come to the hospital to see the baby."
"While at the hospital, she stated that she would be coming over to my house, less than 24hrs after I left the hospital, to 'help out and hold her grandson,' " she continues. "My husband and I wanted to spend time alone as a family after getting home so we told her that she might need to wait until the next weekend to stop by."
The post continues: "My mother then stated that we were 'banning' her from seeing 'her grandchild.' She said that her love language is acts of service and I was being mean for not allowing her to come over so soon after birth."
So, the woman writes that she and her husband "caved," allowing her mom to come over the day after getting home from the hospital.
"During her visit, she proceeded to point out everything she believed we were doing wrong as parents (give him the pacifier, put him in the sun, etc.) and refused to listen when we told her that we did not want unsolicited advice," she writes.
Two days later, she got a text from her mom that read, simply, "my grandson misses me."
"I told her that we are limiting guests until the baby gets his first vaccines at two months but that she could stop by the house in two weeks to see him if she'd like," she writes in the post. "She does not respond to this message. She texts me two days later and asks me to call her."
When the two spoke on the phone, the woman's mom said she was being kept from the baby, stating that she "knows best."
"I told her that we are [the] parents and she has no say in what we do with our child or when we would like to have guests over," she writes. "She has now begun to complain to other family members that my husband and I are being overly cautious about our child's health and we don't know what we're doing as parents."
She continues in the post: "I'm conflicted because she's my son's grandmother and I want her to feel like a part of his life but I feel like she is overstepping."
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But others on Reddit suggest that maybe the woman hasn't gone far enough.
Writes one commenter: "What she's doing is unhinged. Get a doorbell camera. Keep your doors locked, if she has a key just change [your] locks and don't tell her. If she wants to throw a fit like a toddler on social media or send family after you to harass you, count it as a blessing because she's going to give you all the evidence you need for a restraining order."
Adds another: "You're not being mean to her. You're being mean to yourselves by allowing her to stomp all over your boundaries. Keep firm and have a conversation with your husband about what to say next time she tries to push. Make sure you're on the same page."
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