In an uncertain world, they chose each other

Boston Globe

23-04-2025

Kellan — who uses they/them pronouns and proudly maintains a robust sourdough starter — measures carefully.
'I have had bad experiences with not following recipes,' Kellan, a former Ultimate Club-level player, now packaging engineer, explains. 'Skip the line that says baking powder? Obviously, that's not going to go well.'
When they met in 2021, they dated how they baked: Kellan, slow but always steady; Alejandra, free-spirited and optimistic. But while their methods might not always match, their collaboration toward a shared life, envisioned with instinct and intention, was a recipe that worked.
An early memory of their romance featured Kellan's first at-home manicure. "I am still actively exploring how I play within what feels right in terms of balancing masculinity and femininity," Kellan explains. "Alejandra was super game and excited about [trying to paint my nails]"
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It was early March 2021 when Alejandra and Kellan matched on Tinder. A photo of Kellan clutching a Frisbee over their chest had convinced Alejandra, a native of Rochester, N.Y., to 'immediately' swipe right. Kellan's advocacy work for other non-binary athletes helped to seal the deal. In 2020, Kellan was a community liaison who helped implement a new
For Kellan, who had moved from their hometown of Cincinnati to Cambridge that January, Alejandra's green hair was a green flag: 'People who have colored hair are usually not boring people,' Kellan says.
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Exchanging compliments and then phone numbers turned into discussions of ways they each had found to 'bring joy' as they awaited the rollout of COVID-19 vaccines. Alejandra documented a seven-hour tattooing session — of a demoness designed by artist
'I wanted to do something... for myself and not related to anything else,' says Alejandra, 'something that reflects me in ways that, sometimes, I don't think is palatable for a lot of people.'
The pair had their first date weeks later at Longfellow Park, taking a warm walk along the Charles on a warm afternoon. Alejandra wore a leopard print jumpsuit; Kellan arrived by bike.
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'I remember how blue their eyes were,' says Alejandra of that first meeting. 'I don't remember how we got into the rhythm of feeling more comfortable [than on the phone], but clearly we felt more comfortable because we ended up talking for two-and-a-half hours.'
The next date was a week later, another walk, this time beginning at Cambridge Common and ending with a first kiss. The air was fresh and so was conversation, without an awkward pause or misstep between them.
'In a lot of social interactions, small talk is very much not my jam,' Kellan says. 'But we were on similar pages; we could talk about real things of whatever magnitude. I wasn't afraid. I didn't feel like I had to filter my responses.'
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Kellan re-created their civil ceremony outfit for the wedding portraits they took at Fresh Pond, while Alejandra traded up for a new warmer dress.
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At the time, Alejandra was working an evening shift as a Tufts University librarian. They shared FaceTime goodnights and socially distanced hangouts in Alejandra's back garden after midnight.
'I was impressed by their brain,' Alejandra says. 'I remember thinking that this person not only can keep up with what I'm talking about, but also is showing depth of knowledge and passion for things that I was really excited to hear them talk about.'
Three months later, they were calling it official after a long-weekend in Maine and exchanging I love you's.
The following year brought health and life obstacles for both partners. When Alejandra was unsure if she could afford to stay in Boston after a series of career and personal challenges, Kellan offered to pay her rent, 'regardless of whether we work out,' she remembers them saying.
For Kellan, who offered without hesitation, it had been a no-brainer: 'I had a really good deal on my rent [at the time],' Kellan explains. 'Money cannot solve all of the problems, but it can help with this one in a meaningful way.'
Kellan had asked Alejandra "will you marry me?" over dinner at their kitchen table while sharing news clips on social media. "We wanted to make sure we'd be able to continue to take care of each other," Kellan says.
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When each had a major surgery, months apart, the other temporarily moved in to help with recovery.
'[This period] cemented the relationship in terms of how we are comfortable being with each other for the full range of
everything
,' says Kellan.
'It didn't scare Kellen away in any way,' says Alejandra. 'In no way shape or form did they say, 'this person has now become a burden.''
'I had a person in my corner and they had a person in their corner,' she says.
When the pair started to search for a shared apartment of their own the following spring, there were two requirements: two kittens (Alejandra) and two bedrooms (Kellan). They got both.
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They had built their love on Squishmallows exchanges, unwavering fandom for the Boston Fleet Professional Women's Hockey League team, 24-hour read-a-thons, electric blue and mint green hair dyes, and fresh, homemade tortillas.
'[Mexican food is] food that tastes like home. But there are some elements I don't know, or my mom doesn't know how to make, therefore I don't know how to make,' Alejandra says. 'I thought [learning to make flour tortillas] was going to be a group project, but they started doing it [solo]... Whenever Kellan knows I am stressed or [need] comfort, they will take 30 minutes... to make a batch of tortillas.'
The couple had begun to discuss marriage last fall, but the results of the 2024 presidential election sped up their decision-making process. While compromise comes easy within their partnership, as the pair saw it, leaving their future on the table wasn't something either was willing to risk.
Each spouse admires the other's wealth of knowledge. Kellan, whose background is in STEM, studied mechanical engineering, with interests spanning kinesiology to 3D printing. Alejandra, who studied fashion and art history, is the house expert on textiles and Egyptology.
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On Feb. 5, Kellan and Alejandra married at Cambridge City Hall — with just their officiant as witness. They took wedding photos on a snowy day a week later with their
'We certainly hope that we would have been able to get married down the road, whenever we want,' says Kellan. 'But that doesn't feel like something that is guaranteed in today's day and age.'
After the mid-morning ceremony, they picked up pastries and plates from
The celebration wasn't grand, but it was a perfectly sweet.
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Rachel Kim Raczka is a writer and editor in Boston. She can be reached at