Mother-in-Law Schedules Visit to Meet 1-Week-Old Grandchild 'Without Asking' 'Exhausted' Mom — and Brings 'a Stranger Along'
A woman says her mother-in-law has planned a surprise visit to see her just days after she gave birth — and she wants to bring someone along
But the woman says she's in no condition for visitors
Now, she wants to know if it would be "unreasonable" to say she doesn't want visitors yetA woman says her mother-in-law has planned a surprise visit to see her just one week after she gave birth.
In a post shared to Reddit, the anonymous woman writes, "I just gave birth to my second daughter five days ago, and I've just returned home from the hospital. I'm physically still recovering, bleeding, breastfeeding, barely sleeping, and emotionally trying to settle into this new chapter.
"On top of that, my older daughter is feeling a bit emotional and clingy after I was away for a few days, so things are already overwhelming," she adds.
Despite her current situation, her mother-in-law sent a message in their family group chat stating that "she has 'scheduled' a visit to come over in two days."
The matriarch noted that she would be bringing her sister along, whom the poster has "never met."
"She never asked me if I'm okay with this. She just informed* us that she's coming," she adds.
Now, the woman writes, she's "furious."
"I don't understand how someone (even the baby's grandmother) thinks it's appropriate to invite themselves into a postpartum woman's home less than a week after she's given birth, without asking, and worse, to bring a stranger along," she writes.
"I'm in pain. I'm exhausted. I'm bleeding. I'm trying to soothe a newborn and help my toddler adjust. I haven't slept properly in nights. I don't want to entertain guests, I don't want to make small talk, and I definitely don't want to host someone I've never met before."
Now, she wants to know if it would be "unreasonable" to say she doesn't want visitors yet.
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Fellow Reddit users are advising the woman to let her husband handle it.
"This is a husband/partner conversation to have with her and not your battle. Tell him that you aren't feeling good and don't want anyone over until x date and ask them to tell their mother that she needs to reschedule," writes one Reddit user in the comments.
"This is absolutely transgressing and inconsiderate behavior. It's not only impolite but also insane to impose yourself without asking on a woman so shortly postpartum," another added. "I would be livid. And not hosting her. Tell your husband to write it doesn't work for you and you tell her when you guys (as a family !!! Not you yourself) are ready."
http://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf
In an update, the woman shares that her husband "did step up" and told his mom that she is "still recovering" and "completely exhausted," asking that she reschedule the visit to a time he is also home.
However, his mother "kept insisting on visiting anyway."
"She completely disregarded our boundaries and made it about what's convenient for her and her guests, not what's best for me or the baby," the poster writes.
Since her mother-in-law has refused to compromise, the poster plans on "locking myself and my kids in the bedroom and resting" when her in-laws come over.
"As many of you suggested, I don't owe anyone my time, energy, or space, especially not when I'm already depleted," she writes. "I'm done trying to accommodate someone who clearly doesn't care about my wellbeing."
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