3 Unavoidable Consequences Of ‘Ghosting' Someone, By A Psychologist

Forbes

7 hours ago

Ghosting, the one-sided act of terminating all contact with another person without any warning, has become a highly common strategy in the modern dating world. Should an individual no longer be interested in a potential or current partner, ghosting offers them a quick and efficient means to end things on their terms — as there's no need for them to explain themselves, nor any need to worry about the other's retaliation.
Naturally, in these exchanges, ghosters reap all the benefits of the termination, while ghostees are left to suffer all the consequences. Yet, as common as this practice has become, very little is known about the immediate negative impacts of ghosting until now.
A July 2025 study published in Personal Relationships recruited over 380 participants to address this gap in literature. Across two separate studies, lead researcher Amanda Szczesniak and her colleagues sought to hypothetically simulate the experience of being ghosted by a partner on a dating app.
Participants, all of whom were split into three separate groups, were asked to imagine that they'd just had two great dates with their hypothetical partner, 'Taylor.' They were then asked to imagine that they'd expressed their interest to Taylor in seeing them again for another date. In the hypothetical scenario:
Following this, Szczesniak and her fellow researchers measured a variety of the participants' emotional and behavioral responses.
Based on the study's findings, here are three consequences of ghosting that most people often fail to realize.
1. Closure Is A Gift, And You're Deliberately Withholding It
Very unsurprisingly, the 2025 study found that both participants who were rejected and ghosted by Taylor experienced great emotional pain in the aftermath. What differentiated these groups, however, is that ghostees weren't offered any of the closure necessary to move on from the relationship. In turn, these participants were left in a liminal emotional space.
This is why, regardless of whether causing pain is an intention or not, ghosting is an inherently selfish strategy.
Breakups by ghosting are imposed entirely on the ghoster's terms, irrespective of whether the ghostee would've agreed or disagreed with the termination. Yet even in an awkward or hurtful breakup conversation, the person being broken up with is still offered the dignity of being told to their face that the relationship is ending; ghostees aren't even allowed these small consolations.
They're left to ruminate in isolation instead. While some ghostees might have the wisdom to know they shouldn't dwell on it, most can't help but wonder what made them deserving of such a harsh conclusion. Was it something they did or said? The way they dressed? Their personality? Their interests? Were they simply incompatible? Or was it something they could've prevented?
Most ghosters have no idea just how damaging this lack of closure can be to the ghostee's future dating endeavours. What in one person's eyes is a quick nip in the bud can have lasting and devastating effects on the other's life and well-being.
At best, ghostees may be significantly less trusting and forthcoming with future partners; at worst, they may become a much more cynical, insecure and jaded shell of their former self. They're likely to carry the scars of their ghoster's silence into any and every future connection they have.
2. You're Only Delaying Potential Conflict, Not Preventing It
In 2023, I interviewed Michaela Forrai, a researcher from the University of Vienna in Austria with similar academic interests in ghosting. She noted that one of the many reasons individuals may opt to ghost others is for self-protection.
Expanding on this, she explained, 'Self-protective reasons imply that the ghoster ends communication by ghosting the other person because they feel that this is a safer option for themselves than confronting the ghostee.'
In this sense, ghosting may seem like a viable option to individuals who've lost interest in a partner, but fear the repercussions of explicitly saying this to their face. Since ghosting forces all communication to cease, there's no way the other can retaliate in any immediate way; in turn, the ghoster is protected from any immediate backlash.
However, this protection isn't necessarily promised. Post-ghosting, the authors of the 2025 study notably measured participants in the ghosting condition's likelihood to try and get in contact with their ghoster — which were significantly higher than those in the rejection condition.
So, while ghosting momentarily offers the ghoster protection from conflict, it simultaneously makes the ghostee all the more inclined to try to reach out in order to gain clarity. And should they succeed, it's likely that the conflict they were trying so desperately to avoid will ensue in any case.
In other words, ghosting doesn't necessarily guarantee any form of protection from conflict or backlash; it only delays it. And when the conflict finally arrives, it's likely to be much more angry and personal than it would've been if the ghoster had simply been honest in the first place.
3. 'Ghosting' Is Never A Kind Alternative
One of the less insidious reasons people may choose to ghost a partner is to spare their feelings. It's intuitive to think that, by simply ceasing all contact, a ghoster could potentially shield their partner from the hurt, scorn or embarrassment that they'd likely feel in a face-to-face breakup.
This is true to a certain extent. The 2025 study notes that participants who were rejected outright did take damage to their self-esteem and to their emotional well-being overall. That said, so did those who were ghosted — and, worse, the study also notes that ghosted individuals retained a significantly higher level of emotional attachment to their former partner than those who were directly rejected.
This aligns with essentially all existing research on ghosting. In a 2022 interview, as researcher Katherine Holmes explained to me, 'Perhaps the most upsetting consequence of being ghosted is the avoidance of future vulnerability.'
Continuing, she explained, 'Ghostees are much more hesitant and anxious in future romantic endeavors, adopting a level of self-protection that could easily prevent them from making a meaningful connection with someone new.'
In other words, the pain of the breakup will only be exacerbated by a total lack of closure. Ghosting is more than likely to give rise to much greater and longer-lasting pain than what a clean — or even messy — break ever would.
The heartbreak is inevitable; ghosters' lack of courage to speak up only robs the ghostee of their right to face it with dignity. Even with the best intentions, it's important to reconsider this approach to ending a connection.
Are you still reeling from being ghosted? Take this science-backed test to learn how you can start your healing journey: Breakup Distress Scale