Vicky Pattison reveals 'terrifying' PMDD episode left her with 'crippling anxiety, insomnia and dark thoughts': 'I didn't know what I was capable of'

Daily Mail​

a day ago

Vicky Pattison has revealed a recent 'terrifying' episode of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) left her 'not knowing what she was capable of'.
The former Geordie Shore star, 37, took to Instagram on Wednesday as she got candid with her followers about suffering from 'crippling anxiety, insomnia and dark thoughts'.
Vicky has suffered with PMDD for years and often speaks about the severe symptoms it causes including depression and anxiety.
The NHS states that symptoms of PMDD are similar to PMS (premenstrual syndrome), but are much more intense and can have a much greater negative impact on your everyday life.
Symptoms can include headaches and joint and muscle pain, overeating and problems sleeping, feeling very anxious, angry, depressed or suicidal.
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Vicky was left in such a bad way that she called her sister because she 'didn't know what she was going to do'.
She penned in the caption about her PMDD as she posted clips in tears: 'It's always a bit of a mixed bag with my PMDD - some months aren't so bad & I feel hopeful. And other months it just completely takes me out & I feel hopeless.
'But last month I knew I was in for a bit of a rough ride- I hadn't done anything that I know helps alleviate my symptoms.
'I hadn't been consistent with my supplements, my diet was atrocious & my schedule was just unrelenting so I went into my luteal phase not really standing a chance. But despite my concerns, nothing could have prepared me.
'It was terrifying. I rang my sister and told her that I didn't know what I was going to do. That I genuinely didn't know what I was capable of. And after a week of crippling anxiety, insomnia, my inner critic finding fault at every turn & dark thoughts. I know I meant it.
'And that's the thing with PMDD, one week you're this bright, shiny, brilliant woman who is strong, smart & ready for anything life throws at you.. & then your PMDD fog sets in and your brain convinces you that you're worthless, that everyone hates you & the world would be a better place without you in it.
'Every month I lose myself & descend further & further into this self loathing state & this month almost got the better of me.'
She said in her post: 'It was terrifying. I rang my sister and told her that I didn't know what I was going to do. That I genuinely didn't know what I was capable of'
She added: 'I'm telling this story, not for sympathy, but because I know I'm not alone. Supposedly 1 in 20 women are dealing with PMDD, but due to medical misogyny, lack of awareness & misdiagnosis- I believe that number to be a lot higher. Which means that there are thousands, If not millions of women suffering in silence or being ignored or gaslit into believing these things are normal.
'They aren't. You have a condition. A hormonal disorder & these thoughts are not a reflection of your actual value.
'I want anyone dealing with PMDD, anyone feeling the things I did last month to know that you are not alone.. & regardless of what your brain is telling you- you are an incredible person & world is better for having you in it. The fog, the darkness & the depression will pass.. & in its place will be beautiful moments, happiness, success, pure unfiltered JOY!
'You are a warrior.. you are powerful & you are UNSTOPPABLE.'
It comes after Vicky passionately hit back at 'ignorant' trolls who accuse her of faking her health woes amid her 'heartbreaking' PMDD battle.
She took to Instagram to speak out against those who have dismissed her pain and accused her of 'inventing a condition to stay relevant'.
Sharing a post she added photos of herself in tears and with a swollen stomach as she said the condition makes her feel 'worthless'.
Vicky wrote in her lengthy post: 'I've debated posting this for awhile, as quite frankly it's a little bit dark.
'I know everyone is probably in a Christmassy place & just wants to be thinking about mulled wine & pigs in blankets but after the reaction to the WEC's report last week I thought I'd share & honest insight into what people suffering with PMDD go through.
'Because if I have to read one more ignorant comment from some sad keyboard warrior saying 'here we go, another celeb inventing a condition to stay relevant' or 'we all get a period every month, just get on with it'- I think I'll scream.
'I'm not new to this industry & I've had my fair share of criticism over the years. I'd like to think I've developed a thick skin when it comes to trolling.
'However what annoys me most about these pathetic comments is the message it sends. That women who talk openly & honestly about their pain are fantasists, dramatic or just after attention.'
She added: 'Grow up. It's 2024 & women have too much going on in their lives- impressive jobs, busy social calendars, children, partners, pets, passions & everything in between to have time to PRETEND to be struggling.
'Furthermore, from experience I know the level of pain & desperation most women have to be experiencing to speak up.
'Because we've been conditioned for years to believe we just need to 'suck it up' and 'get on with it.'
'So when a woman does come forward to share her experiences- understand that it's probably taken them a lot to get there. ALOT.
'And the last thing they need when they're already feeling vulnerable & fragile is some uneducated mouth piece minimizing their pain.
'These comments speak volumes about people's attitudes towards female reproductive health and women's pain in general. And I'm over this outdated and misogynistic rhetoric.
'PMDD, endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS and everything in between are heartbreaking & debilitating conditions that are driving women to despair and early & often unnecessary hysterectomies- if you can't give these women the empathy and compassion they deserve I really suggest you say nothing. Or educate yourself.
'Because your misogyny is showing hun.'
Last year Vicky admitted she felt 'depressed' and 'anxious' - just hours before her wedding to Ercan Ramadan.
The reality star married builder-turned-personality Ercan, 30, in August at Marylebone Town Hall before a second lavish ceremony in Italy.
But Vicky told how her condition negatively impacted the run-up to her special day.
She shared photos of herself in her underwear looking bloated and also heartbreaking selfies of herself crying.
Vicky wrote a lengthy caption with the post, and it began: 'PMDD and life's significant moments..'
She continued: 'This most won't make sense to a lot of people, to some it may seem dramatic, & if this doesn't resonate with you at all, that's ok.. you can keep scrolling. Because this post is not for everyone.
'One in 20 women suffer with PMDD. However the actual figure is believed to be so much higher due to women being misdiagnosed, ignored & gaslight into thinking they're hysterical.
'So if you are one of that one in 20, or if for a week to 10 days of the month, that luteal phase before your period, you simply don't recognise yourself- then this post is for you.
'Believe me, in the week before my wedding I didn't want to be this person... you imagine being excited & happy, having little dickie birds pop your dress on for you... instead I've been depressed, anxious & self critical filled with feminine rage, hopelessness & exhaustion.
'That's what PMDD does.
'PMDD is like building a sand castle of good habits, positive moods, & a loving personality then watching it all get swept away to leave depression, anger, hopefulness, & anxiety in its wake. The wave recedes. You begin to rebuild, just as a new wave crashes.
'And you know the REALLY annoying thing? Is just as your period ALWAYS seems to fall when you're going on holiday.. that spicy PMDD week always manages to be when you have something significant going on, something where you could really do with being your bright, shiny, BRILLIANT self.. rather than this anxious, suicidal little shell of a woman
'We can't control when that wave crashes.
'I've had messages from women saying that PMDD has robbed them of loads of things.. it's shown up on birthdays, graduations, job interviews, it's stopped them being the mother they wanted to be a lot of the time, it's made relationships strained, it's stolen moments that should have been happy.
'I wish there was a super upbeat conclusion to this post, that I was going to end it by saying 'but I've found this pill & now I'm feeling great' but there isn't, instead , I'm just going to say that to anyone suffering- I see you, I get it and I am sorry.
'But you know, as powerful as those thoughts & hormones can be..
Vicky continued in the comments: 'I'm adamant they aren't going to take this moment from me. I might be slight more prickly of a bride than I was intending.. think less Cinderella and more Ursula the sea witch.. but so what?!
'That floaty old hag deserves her happily too! I mean, maybe she was just misunderstood anyway
'MAYBE SHE HAD PMDD??? (That would actually explain A LOT!) What has helped me tremendously through this journey is getting my friends and family to understand and know what I'm going through.
'So if you're struggling with PMDD and fear the person it makes you, you're scared of people not understanding.. help them understand- explain what you're feeling, how scary it is.
'And even if these significant moments don't look exactly how you imagined them or wanted them.. with people by your side, who love, support and are trying to understand.. things just are a little bit easier. Love you all.'