‘I asked, what is Kalma? No one answered': Indore woman recalls husband tried to shield her with his sweater even after being shot in Pahalgam
INDORE: A heavy silence gripped the Nathaniel household in Indore as the mortal remains of
Sushil Nathaniel
were taken for the final rites. The LIC branch manager had been on a family vacation to Jammu and Kashmir when he became one of the victims of the
Pahalgam terror attack
.
Sushil, his wife Jennifer, son Austen, and daughter Akansha had arrived in the valley on April 19 for a holiday. What began as a joyful getaway quickly turned into a nightmare.
On the day of the attack, Akansha had stayed back as she wasn't feeling well. The rest of the family set off for the scenic Baisaran Valley, riding ponies up the mountain trail.
'It was such a beautiful day,' Jennifer recalled. 'I had gathered a lot of courage to sit on the pony — it was my first time and I was scared. The path was dangerous, but I still rode. When we reached the top, Sushil asked if I wanted to try the ropeway. I surprised him by saying yes right away. He was so happy — he knew how scared I usually am. I bought the ropeway ticket for Rs 350, and he was running around excitedly, taking videos of me.'
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Just before they were about to leave, Sushil told her he needed to use the washroom. 'I told him to go alone, but he insisted I come too. Austen stayed back near the ponies, taking photos and waiting for us.'
As they approached the washroom area, Jennifer remembered, 'There were at least 30 people nearby, washing mud off their shoes under a tap. Just as Sushil came out, we heard a loud bang. We thought maybe the ropeway cable had snapped or a machine had broken.'
But what followed was chaos.
'When we looked toward the gate, we saw someone had been shot. Then gunfire erupted — everywhere. They were shooting indiscriminately. There was silence, broken only by the sound of bullets. People were falling around us,' she said.
The couple ran behind the washroom and slipped through a narrow passage into the nearby forest to hide. But the horror didn't end there.
Jennifer said that at some point, the attackers found them and confronted them with religious questions. Sushil was asked about his faith.
'He told them he was a Christian — and they shot him,' she said, her voice breaking.
'I quickly shut my eyes and held my breath. One of them kicked me, hard, to check if I was alive. I didn't flinch. I couldn't. I turned my head slightly once they moved on and saw a young girl lying lifeless near a tree. Behind my husband was another man, propped against a trunk — also dead.'
Jennifer tried to move toward her husband but found herself unable to. 'That's when I realized I was covered with a sweater — his sweater. Even after being shot, even in those final moments, he had managed to throw it over me,' she said.
The trauma didn't end there. 'I saw three people nearby — two in regular clothes and one dressed like a Kashmiri — taking selfies with the dead bodies,' she added.
The attackers returned once more. 'They kicked me again to make sure I was dead. I kept still, eyes shut, holding my breath. Once they were convinced no one had survived, they left.'
She lay motionless until the Army arrived. 'At first, I didn't trust them. They were in similar uniforms, and I feared they were part of the attackers. So I continued pretending to be dead. But eventually, I raised my hand. One of them ran to me and called for help over wireless. That's when I was rescued.'
In her dazed state, Jennifer kept pleading with the soldiers to save her husband. 'I wasn't in my senses. I begged them to check on him. I kept asking, 'What is Kalma?' but no one answered. They helped me, but no one went to him.'
As she was being taken down the mountain, the scale of the horror became clearer. 'All I could see were bodies — pools of blood. Even now, when I close my eyes, I see those bodies,' she said, visibly trembling.
Sushil Nathaniel's death leaves behind a grieving family and a city in mourning. Jennifer and her children are trying to come to terms with the trauma, even as they hold on to the memory of Sushil's final, selfless act — shielding his wife in his last moments.
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