Why smart women still struggle with money – and what to do about it

IOL News

5 hours ago

retirement savings, money matters The 10X Retirement Reality Report (2023) found that nearly half of South African women (49%) don't have a retirement plan, compared to 43% of men. More women see themselves as savers.
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We know how to save, stretch a budget, cover school fees, and find the best deals. But ask us about investing or long-term financial planning, and many smart, capable women still feel like we're getting it wrong.
A survey shared by financial journalist Maya Fisher-French in partnership with Satrix revealed something striking: while women are highly competent money managers, only 15% rate themselves as very knowledgeable about investing, compared to 42% of men. That's not a knowledge gap; it's a confidence gap.
And it's costing us.
The cost of playing it safe
The 10X Retirement Reality Report (2023) found that nearly half of South African women (49%) don't have a retirement plan, compared to 43% of men. More women see themselves as 'savers,' while fewer identify as 'investors.' It's a cautious, risk-aware approach to money that often limits long-term growth. Cash savings rarely keep pace with inflation. True financial freedom requires a long-term investment strategy that benefits from diversified returns across different asset classes.
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Interestingly, a 2021 study by global asset manager Fidelity found that women outperformed men by 40 basis points on their investment returns - not because they took more risk, but because they were more consistent and long-term focused.
While I meet more and more women taking control of their money - empowering themselves with knowledge, confidence, and clear plans for the future - many others still feel stuck. But the shift is real. It's a reminder that we're more capable than we believe, and that change is already happening.
We don't need to be overnight experts. But we do need to start seeing ourselves as capable - and worthy - of building wealth.
Why so many women still feel stuck
Over the years, I've sat with senior executives, entrepreneurs, teachers, and single mothers - successful women, deeply committed to their families and futures. And yet, when we talk about money - especially long-term planning or investing - I still hear the same words: I'm not good with money. I don't know where to start. I'm not confident with finances. Money doesn't interest me. I'd rather let someone else handle it.
Behind the spreadsheets are stories of guilt, shame, sacrifice, and silence. The struggle has little to do with numbers - and everything to do with the beliefs we carry. Most of us weren't taught to see ourselves as financial decision-makers. We were raised to be caregivers and nurturers - praised for selflessness, not independence.
These stories stay with us. They shape our confidence and leave us stuck - hesitant to invest or make bold decisions for our future.
When life shifts, so do our money habits
Divorce, death, retrenchment, empty nest, retirement, supporting adult children - these are deeply emotional chapters, and they often expose the financial cracks we've ignored. Sometimes we overspend to numb grief. Sometimes we give too much to avoid feeling selfish. We often spend our time and money on our children and parents, with nothing left for our own secure future. Sometimes we freeze - unsure of how to move forward, so we don't. And often, we make decisions from a place of guilt, shame, or fear.
I've met women who trusted their partners to manage the money, only to find later that everything had been squandered or mismanaged. I've met others who handed control to a financial planner without truly understanding what was being done with their funds. I cannot tell you how often women walk into my office after the death of a spouse with no idea where to begin.
A divorce is often where all your protective defence mechanisms and wounds are exposed, and one of the places where it is hardest to separate emotions and money. I've seen women who hand over their power and security for the wrong reasons: because they feel guilty, embarrassed or responsible. These are not 'bad' financial decisions. They are emotional responses to very real pain.
Why emotional habits shape our money choices
I often hear clients say: I don't deserve it. I blew it. I wish I had started sooner. I'm not earning. It's not mine. Money gives me confidence.
Many of our poor money habits are deeply tied to our emotional lives. We stay out of financial conversations not because we don't care, but because we feel inadequate. We give too much, not because we have too much - but because we want to feel worthy.
When you start to see your money behaviour as a mirror of your inner world, you can begin to change the script.
Start with clarity, not shame
There's power in simply seeing things as they are. What do you own? What do you owe? What do you spend? What do you want?
Clarity means you're paying attention. It gives you the foundation to plan, make intentional choices, and set boundaries with love and firmness. A life plan and a financial plan together help you shift from reacting to your circumstances to creating your future.
Small steps to reclaim your power
You don't need to do everything at once. But you do need to start. And the first step isn't financial; it's personal. It's about shifting from self-doubt to self-trust. Get clear - know what you own, what you owe, what you spend, and what you want.
Build a plan for your life and your money. When you know what matters to you, your money decisions become purposeful.
Talk about money - the more we normalise these conversations, the more empowered we become.
Ask for help and work with a financial planner who supports your whole journey – not just the numbers.
Track your giving. Be generous, but not at the cost of your own future.
You are your greatest asset
This isn't about blaming ourselves for not doing better. It's about giving ourselves permission to show up - with courage, clarity, and authenticity. Your earning power, your ability to grow, your insight and wisdom - these are the things that will carry you forward. You don't have to prove anything. You simply have to begin by paying attention to your money and being intentional with your life.
Kim Potgieter, Certified Financial Planner, Author and Coach.
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