An Ode for .. Nicola ‘No BS' Willis
Budget Advice
The Grand Court is filled with hubbub.
Scribes and Minions scurry around frantically.
It is the Day of the Royal Disbursements.
'This is a No BS budget,'
Announces Nicola, Keeper of the Privy Purse.
'What does BS stand for?,' whispers a Scribe.
'Beneficial spending,' whispers a Minion in reply.
'What I say to the House of Red,'
Thunders Nicola, Lady of the Strait,
'Is show us the money!'
The Boy Prince Chipkins is confused.
'I thought all the money had been redirected
To tax relief for King Lux's property empire,'
He wonders aloud.
'There will be no rainbows, and no unicorns,'
Glares Nicola, Admiraless of Ghost Ferries.
'What will there be then?,'
A disconsolate rainbow unicorn quavers from the back.
Nicola stops and consults
Her twenty parchment rolls of hieroglyphics.
'It says here a crust of jail bread,
Plus a cube of hard cheese,' she announces proudly
To the raggedy and forlorn serfs.
'And you will love it!'
Then The Lady of the Strait steps off the wharf
Onto her leaking Royal Coracle Great Expectations
And sails off into the setting sun across the Sea of Disappointment,
Busily hand cranking the bilge pump.
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