Should you share finances with your partner? Nearly half won't even TALK about money until they live together

Daily Mail​

09-07-2025

Money can be a touchy subject in a relationship, especially if one of you is a spender and the other likes to be more frugal.
So it is not surprising that many Britons will kick the can down the road and not broach the subject with their partner until they absolutely have to.
Some 45 per cent say they would wait until moving in together to have a frank discussion about finances, according to figures from neobank Bunq - while four per cent say they would not talk about money until reaching a milestone such as getting engaged or having a baby.
A third would broach the topic after a few months of dating, while four per cent said they would raise the topic on their first date. A third of couples also admitted hiding purchases from their partner.
Some couples have good reasons for wanting to keep their finances separate.
But for 34-year-old Anthony Villa, becoming more open with his finances in his marriage has allowed him and his wife to be on the same page with when they spend and when they save.
Villa, who is the founder and chief executive of marketing agency Launch Experiments, This is Money: 'I think the bigger shift wasn't just about talking more, it was about both of us becoming better adults which naturally improved the relationship.
'If we'd brought the level of openness and structure we have now into those earlier years, I think we'd have avoided a lot of unnecessary stress and probably been further along financially.'
Villa and his wife initially had differing views on spending, with him focusing on budgeting and careful planning but his wife having a different attitude.
He said: 'It probably took a solid two years of honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations before we really felt aligned.
'But those discussions helped us understand each other's perspectives and find common ground, instead of just defaulting to habits we'd picked up.'
Now, the couple share an account for the majority of their purchases.
Villa added: 'I think the bigger issue is that most people, single or in relationships, are just thrown into adulthood without much financial literacy.
'You don't know what you don't know - who to trust, what to read, how does interest work, what's actually bad financial behaviour versus what just works for you.
'Having someone to figure it out with, even if you don't have all the answers, makes the process feel less overwhelming.'
What should couples talk about?
Alan Barral, financial planner at Quilter Cheviot, says couples should be upfront about their financial habits and how they manage their money.
They should also let their partner know about any debt or student loans they have outstanding, he adds.
'Talking openly about money might not feel romantic, but it's one of the most important conversations a couple can have,' he says.
'The earlier you start, the easier it is to build trust and avoid misunderstandings.'
Barral suggests setting a regular time to talk about finances, even if it is informal.
That could mean reviewing your spending habits once a month, or setting shared goals for saving towards holidays or a new home.
Are joint accounts a good idea?
Opening a shared bank account is one of the biggest steps you can take towards being completely open about your finances with a partner.
Barral says: 'Joint accounts aren't right for everyone, especially early on, but having a shared pot for things like groceries or rent can help keep things fair without giving up financial independence.'
Many people won't want to do so unless they have a full understanding of their other half's spending habits, however.
This is the case for 26-year-old Ani Prinja, who says she is wary due to her experiences in a previous relationship.
She says: 'I think openness with financial situations is very important, mostly learning the other person's behaviour which may affect you.
'For example, if they have lots of credit card debt or impulsive spending habits, that will likely come to affect both people in the relationship down the line.'
Prinja spent five years in a relationship where she spent thousands on her partner, including when her then-boyfriend was unemployed for a two-year period.
She said: 'I think it started slowly so you don't notice it as much, but the more it happens, the more normal it feels. It is also hard when they guilt trip you into feeling like it's not a big deal.'
She says they didn't properly discuss finances until they decided to move in together.
Younger people might be especially unwilling to share their finances, according to Matthew Sheeran, external relations manager at debt advisor Money Wellness.
He says: 'Younger people are more likely to keep finances separate because financial independence can feel safer, especially in today's climate of rising costs and economic uncertainty.
'Keeping money separate works for many couples, but open conversations are key. Talking about finances early helps avoid surprises and build trust, whether you choose to share or stay separate.'