Bride Invites High-School Acquaintance to Wedding—Then Comes the Demand
Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content.
What started as a casual RSVP to a high-school acquaintance's wedding quickly turned into a boundary-testing request for one woman.
In a post to Reddit, a 27-year-old makeup artist who occasionally posts her work on Instagram shared her story, explaining how she accepted an invite to the wedding of a girl she knew from high school. But her attendance led to a surprising request for free services. Since the post was published, it has gone viral with more than 6,700 upvotes and over 170 comments.
Newsweek spoke to modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert, Jenny Dreizen, about whether or not the request to the guest was appropriate or not.
Stock photo: A professional makeup artist applies eye shadow to a woman.
Stock photo: A professional makeup artist applies eye shadow to a woman.
nicoletaionescu/Getty Images
In the post, the makeup artist wrote that, a few days before the wedding, she received a random Instagram DM from someone she didn't follow. The sender was the bride's cousin.
"She somehow found out I was a makeup artist and would be at the wedding, so she asked if I could do her makeup. No greetings, no please, nothing," the poster wrote. Still, she responded politely by sharing her event makeup rate, and thanked the cousin for reaching out. It didn't go well.
The artist had to further explain that her kit, time and effort are not free, but instead of appreciating the clarity, the cousin fired back. "She called me a greedy person and added that girls are supposed to support each other," the woman wrote.
The irony wasn't lost on Reddit.
"Girls need to support each other … Like supporting a woman and her business?" one person wrote.
"I'm so glad you didn't cave!" another added. "You were going to the wedding as a guest, not as a makeup artist. I wonder if she tried to scope out the guest list looking for hairdressers so she could ask if they'd do her hair for free, too?"
The kicker? At 7 a.m. on the wedding day, the cousin texted again asking if she could be "squeezed in." The makeup artist didn't respond and showed up to the wedding, glam and unbothered. "She didn't say a word to me," she wrote.
An Expert Weighs In
Dreizen, COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry and host of the Jenny Says So podcast, told Newsweek that this kind of social pressure is far too common.
"Whether it's makeup artistry, photography, catering or even legal advice, professionals are often put in positions where their work is expected for free, simply because they're 'already there.' It's a misunderstanding of boundaries and the value of skilled labor," Dreizen said.
And, no, showing up at an event doesn't mean services come as part of the RSVP.
Dreizen's advice for beauty professionals in situations like this? "Kind but firm boundaries are key," she said, suggesting scripts that involve clear communication of rates. "'My makeup work is a big part of my livelihood, so I have to stick to my rates, even for friends and family,'" she added.
In the end, it seems the poster was able to keep her cool and her boundaries—and left with her glam intact.
Newsweek reached out to u/IsoldeFairbourner for comment via Reddit.
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