The 9 life-saving questions to ask your partner, dad or brother NOW – without being accused of nagging
FATHER'S Day is all about appreciating the men in our lives, whether they're husbands, dads or grandads.
And the best present you can give them?
To talk about their health.
Men are notorious for avoiding the GP – almost half feel under pressure to 'tough it out' when it comes to health worries, and one in three feel that speaking about their health issues threatens to make them look weak, according to the Office for National Statistics' Health Insight Survey of 1,000 men.
But women can help nudge them.
'We get a lot of men saying they're coming in because their partner's told them to,' says Dr Rachel Ward, GP at Woodlands Medical Centre in Didcot.
So, this Father's Day, take our quiz with your loved one to help turn their health around.
1. Are you exercising?
Regular exercise is one of the best things you can do for your health – physically and mentally.
'People underestimate how much healthier you feel,' says Dr Ward.
It can also improve sleep, eating habits and your sex life.
WHAT NEXT? The NHS says you should do 150 minutes of moderate, or 75 minutes of vigorous, exercise a week.
Don't know where to start?
'A half-hour afternoon walk will transform your day,' says Dr Ward, who recommends doing this five times a week.
2. Have you checked your vitals?
' High blood pressure or cholesterol predisposes you to heart attack and stroke, but it is a silent disease – frequently, you won't have symptoms,' says Dr Ward.
'It's important to get blood pressure and cholesterol checked, because they can be doing damage, even though you're oblivious.'
WHAT NEXT? 'Pharmacists offer free blood pressure tests, and from age 40, you can have the NHS Health Check, which checks blood pressure and cholesterol, and for diabetes,' says Dr Ward
3. Have you had any ongoing pain?
We all have a little pain here and there.
'If you had knee pain and you were older with some arthritis, it's less concerning,' says Dr Ward.
'But chronic pain is not good and affects mobility and mood.
"You shouldn't just soldier on. Certain pains could relate to an underlying cancer.'
For example, abdominal pain could be caused by pancreatic or bowel cancer.
WHAT NEXT? If you have a new pain that's not going away, get it checked out by a GP.
4. Have you thought about stopping smoking?
Newsflash – smoking is really bad for you. 'It's a huge risk factor for multiple cancers, but also heart disease and stroke,' says Dr Ward.
It is bad for every organ system and it can kill you.'
WHAT NEXT? 'It's a really difficult thing to give up,' Dr Ward says.
'But you've got a much higher chance of being successful if you get help.'
Local free NHS stop-smoking services are a great starting point.
5. Who do you talk to when you're overwhelmed?
'Men, especially older generations, are still not great at admitting to themselves when they're feeling overwhelmed,' says Dr Ward.
'Men are less likely to talk about it with mates than women are.'
But it's vital that they do get talking – 75% of those who die by suicide in the UK are male.*
WHAT NEXT? 'Thinking: 'Who is a person I can trust?' is a healthy conversation to have, even if you are feeling well,' says Dr Ward.
Visit Manup.how, which runs free mental health sessions, and Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.
6. Have you weighed yourself recently?
Obesity is a key driver of diabetes and heart disease, according to the World Health Organisation.
'But people don't realise how much of a predisposing factor it is for cancer,' says Dr Ward.
'It has a massive impact on every aspect of health.'
WHAT NEXT? Suggest the whole family look at creating healthier habits, such as daily walks or preparing meals together from scratch.
GPs may be able to refer you to free NHS weight services.
7. Do you pee easily?
While getting up in the night to wee, hesitancy, reduced flow and dribbling are associated with ageing, Dr Ward warns: 'They can also be symptoms of prostate cancer,' which is the most common cancer in men in the UK.
Other symptoms are feeling like the bladder has not fully emptied and blood in urine or semen.
However, many men do not have symptoms, especially in the early stages of disease, so it is vital to be aware of the risk, which increases with age.
'If you have a family history and if you are black, you have increased risk,' says Dr Ward.
Thankfully, caught early, the disease is manageable.
WHAT NEXT? 'New or worsening symptoms should be a trigger to speak to your GP and get your prostate checked,' says Dr Ward, who adds that men should not feel embarrassed.
'Urinary and bowel symptoms are bread and butter for us.'
Use the risk checker at Prostatecancer uk.org/risk-checker or talk to your GP.
8. How are things in the bedroom?
Admittedly, this is probably one to ask your partner, rather than your dad!
But sexual dysfunction is not something to be brushed off.
'It can be a sign of prostate cancer, diabetes, mental health problems and relationship issues,' says Dr Ward.
It can also warn of heart health issues.
WHAT NEXT? Men should always speak to their GP about erectile dysfunction.
It can be caused by other medications, so a GP can consider alternatives, while Viagra is available over the counter in pharmacies.
9. How much are you drinking?
There are huge health repercussions from excess drinking, says Dr Ward.
'It increases the risk of cancer, liver disease, cognitive impairment, mood and more.'
The NHS-recommended limit is up to 14 units spread over one week, the equivalent of around six pints of average-strength beer.
WHAT NEXT? If you are worried about a loved one's drinking, start with a chat about it.
Avoid judgement and instead express concern, care and support.
Encourage them to use resources such as the DrinkControl: Alcohol Tracker app, Alcohol Change UK, or to see their GP.
Don't be a nag (but do get results)
Sex therapist and head of clinical practice at Relate, Ammanda Major, shares her tips for navigating a defensive partner.
Skip the guilt trip. 'Try speaking from a caring position instead,' says Ammanda.
'Avoid negative statements like: 'You never go to the doctor.'' Instead, invite conversation with caring language.
'Say: 'I really love you and I feel a bit concerned.
"I wondered whether it'd be an idea to see the doctor. What do you think?'
"Don't blame, and be curious about the responses.'
Find a quiet moment to address the issue. 'Don't bring it up mid-row,' says Ammanda.
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BBC News
21 minutes ago
- BBC News
School smartphone bans - are they effective?
Banning smart phones in schools has become an increasingly popular move for teachers looking to improve children's education, concentration and some health and education professionals and campaigners argue the bans help improve young people's mental health, there are arguments that sanctions can make little difference, do not go far enough, or could have a negative head teacher of one of the first schools to ban mobiles - Rebecca Mahony from Birkenhead High School Academy in Merseyside - said many parents had accepted the she told the BBC she had been told by some parents that their children were becoming anxious because they felt they were missing out. Ms Mahony said the prohibition was "now very much part of the DNA" after its introduction in 2017 due to concerns over disruption, lower attention spans and she added: "There have been some really sad tales from parents actually saying my child needs their phone because they are anxious. "But it's the complete reverse of that - they don't need their phone because that is causing their anxiety." A recent study found that banning phones in schools was not linked to pupils getting higher grades or having better mental health. Sleep, classroom behaviour, exercise, and how long was spent on phones overall were also found to be no different for pupils at schools with phone bans and those without, the academics University of Birmingham academics did find that spending longer on smartphones and social media in general was linked with worse results across all those Mahony said her school's ban involved phones being locked away, which meant students were now "chatting, playing UNO, communicating".But after a 35-year career in the education sector, she said her main concern for wider society was mobile phones' "impact on mental health"."The anxiety levels are through the roof, we're seeing an addiction to phones," she said."I'm seeing children that can't communicate with one another. They can't look each other in the eye when they communicate. They're not learning the social norms. They're not learning about body language." About 145,000 children and 14,000 schools in the UK have signed a pact to increase the age at which smartphones should be used, according to the organisers Smartphone Free spokeswoman Victoria Kazi, a GP, said the campaign recommended no smartphones for under-14s, and no social media for under-16s, after which age "they're more mature and able to cope with the complicatedness".A recent conference in Wirral, held by the Smartphone Free Childhood parents network, heard from other teachers who had taken tough measures over smartphones. Adrian Whiteley, head teacher of The Mosslands School in Wallasey, decided to start locking phones away in last year after finding children were "making excuses to go out of lessons, go to the toilet… and they'd get their phones out".He said students now "talkED to each other at break" and the stricter policy meant the school was "helping parents" avoid succumbing to their children's requests for a smartphone."The child doesn't need their phone during the school day," he said."I think sometimes parents having conversations with their children about use of phones leads to conflict in the house."But by being universal and absolute in our rule about no phones, we've stopped that being a problem, because the parents know that we won't move."So they can say, 'Well that's what the schools say - we can't do anything about it'."Ms Kazi said some parents were now able to say to their children "don't tell me everyone else has got a smartphone because I know about another 20 children in your year who don't"."So it just gives you more support," Ms Kazi added. Dr Victoria Goodyear, the lead author of the University of Birmingham study, previously told the BBC its findings were not "against" smartphone bans in schools."What we're suggesting is that those bans in isolation are not enough to tackle the negative impacts," she added. She said the focus needed to be on reducing how much time students spent on their phones, adding: "We need to do more than just ban phones in schools."A bill suggesting banning smartphones in schools and addictive algorithms aimed at young teenagers will be debated in parliament this July following widespread concerns. Campaigners including Esther Ghey, whose 16-year-old daughter Brianna was murdered by two teenagers - one of whom had been watching violent content online – have called for social media access to be banned for under-16s. Writer Jack Thorne, who created the recent ground-breaking drama Adolescence about a fictional killing spurred by a boy's use of social media, has also called for the government to take "radical action" similar to Australia's recent ban on under-16s from using social media. Technology Secretary Peter Kyle has previously said he would be watching the situation in Australia "very closely". Listen to the best of BBC Radio Merseyside on Sounds and follow BBC Merseyside on Facebook, X, and Instagram. You can also send story ideas via Whatsapp to 0808 100 2230.
The Sun
27 minutes ago
- The Sun
The 5 most common types of insomnia and the best ways to treat each – plus experts answer your burning sleep questions
WE all need good quality sleep, ideally seven to nine hours a night. Without it, we put ourselves at increased risk of cardiovascular disease, anxiety, obesity and diabetes - not to mention being short-tempered and bleary-eyed. 6 Worryingly, however, one in three of us suffers from insomnia, which can mean struggling to fall asleep, stay asleep or get restful sleep. Dr Kat Lederle, a sleep and circadian rhythm specialist at The London General Practice, tells Sun Health: 'The definition of chronic insomnia is three or more nights of poor sleep per week for three months, and daytime impairment. 'This can make you feel tired and irritable during the day, and you may have difficulty concentrating. 'Often, poor sleep is triggered by a stressful period or event. 'However, if poor sleep continues after the event and has been replaced by the worry about not sleeping, then it might be helpful to seek help.' But what intervention or treatment you need depends on what type of insomnia you have. 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'That morphs into worry about not sleeping and its consequences on the next day,' says Dr Lederle. To help your body and mind relax and fall asleep, giving yourself downtime is a must. 'Allow the mind enough time to process the day, learn to notice the thoughts that hook you at night and then step back from them without trying to get rid of them,' Dr Lederle says. 'In many cases, this 'getting rid' can make you feel even more helpless and anxious.' You could try journaling before bed, to get your thoughts out on paper. Avoid screens at least one hour before hitting the hay too, and make sure your room is cool and your bed is comfortable. 4. Short-term insomnia HAVING sleep difficulties for less than three months is classed as short-term insomnia. 'This is usually caused by external stress or a lifestyle change, such as a new job, divorce or loss of a loved one,' says Joshua Piper, sleep clinician at Resmed UK. 'For the most part, once the blunt impact of the stress leaves, so does the insomnia.' It's important to try to maintain your usual schedule in spite of your stress. 'It's the things we start to implement when we are struggling to sleep that have a longer-term implication, such as turning to alcohol, changing our bed/wake times, Googling 'sleep cures' at 2am, and so on,' adds Joshua. 'We call these perpetuating factors, and they become the problem, not the original trigger.' 6 5. Terminal insomnia IT sounds scary, but terminal insomnia refers to waking up hours before your alarm and struggling to get back to sleep. Older age and mental health difficulties, such as anxiety and depression, can cause this, says Joshua, but it can also be a byproduct of spring and summer. It's now significantly lighter in the morning, which can have a huge impact on our body clocks. 'A simple sleep mask to block out the light can be a really easy and cheap solution,' says Joshua. But even with a mask and blackout blinds, you may still have issues with early waking. This could be caused by your medication. 'Antidepressants can cause insomnia as a side effect, particularly when you first start them or adjust your dose,' Dr Dallas says. 'Stimulants such as amphetamines (used for ADHD) can also increase alertness and energy, making it hard to fall asleep, while corticosteroids can cause increased energy and mood changes, leading to difficulty sleeping. 'Beta-blockers may cause sleep disturbances, including nightmares, decongestants can stimulate the nervous system, affecting sleep, and even antihistamines can lead to disrupted sleep patterns.' 'A discussion with the prescribing doctor is needed,' adds Dr Lederle. 5 SLEEP QUESTIONS, ANSWERED 1. Can I die from no sleep? Yes, but it's not an overnight thing. 'It's the chronic deprivation that slowly chips away at your health, increasing the risk of things like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer and let's not forget, depression,' says Joshua. 'Without some quite extreme measures, your brain will always prioritise getting sleep, so the main thing here is not to worry. 'A poor night, or even multiple nights, isn't going to be your demise.' 2. What's the minimum amount of sleep I can get away with each night? GETTING little sleep is nothing to brag about. We need at least seven hours of sleep each night to stay healthy, and consistently getting less than five hours can have huge impacts on your health. 'Stop treating sleep as something passive that you 'have to do' and encourage it as something you 'want to do',' says Joshua. 'Most people need seven to nine hours of sleep (with people either side of that boundary) and almost everyone thinks they are the person that needs far less. 'The chances are though, you need more.' 6 3. Can I nap during the day to make up for lost sleep? NAPPING is a brilliant way to claw back some sleep you might have missed in the night, Joshua says. But you shouldn't nap if it affects your ability to fall asleep later that evening. 'When we nap, we chip away at our sleep pressure, typically building up over the daytime to encourage sleep later,' he adds. 'It's like blowing air into a balloon; you keep adding pressure until it eventually pops. 'But, if you release some of that pressure halfway through, it's not going to pop when you want it to later.' However, if you fall asleep at the right time, with no problem, then napping is a useful tool. 4. Why am I so tired but can't sleep? TIRED but wired? You might be sleepy all day then lie down and suddenly be wide awake. 'Tired is when you are drained mentally and/or physically. Sleepy is when you can barely keep your eyes open,' says Joshua. 'Being tired but wired is likely down to stress, poor routine and the brain learning some bad habits. 'The good news is there's an effective option called cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBTi). 'It helps break the mental loop and regain control over bedtime again.' CBTi is available on the NHS and privately. Speak to your GP or visit to find a therapist. 6 5. Why do I overthink everything at night? BEDTIME might be the first quiet moment you've had all day. 'That's when people think things over,' says Joshua. 'It's not ideal because the bedroom is for sleep, not thinking. 'It goes one step further, though; your brain doesn't power down all at once. 'The prefrontal cortex (your rational, calming voice) winds down before the amygdala (your emotional alarm system). 'For a short window, your worry centre is still active while your logic centre has gone offline so you lie there replaying old arguments or stressing about tomorrow. 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The Guardian
34 minutes ago
- The Guardian
The secret psychology of dogs and cats: do we ever really know what they are thinking?
I am lost in Morris's eyes. They are brown, almond-shaped and fringed by impossibly long lashes. He looks back at me, softly blinking occasionally, and then reaches out his tongue and licks my cheek, just once. I've been depressed lately, and while I've received compassion and support from many dear people, Morris, my 10-year-old terrier, has been one of the greatest sources of comfort. With that reassuring lick, that steady gaze, he's conveying a message: 'It's OK. Everything will be all right.' Or is he? Could the look actually be saying: 'Those biscuits in the tin … Fancy getting me one?' Was he merely licking a fleck of mayonnaise off my cheek? Dr Jon Bowen, a behavioural consultant at the Queen Mother hospital for animals in Hertfordshire, waves my doubts away. 'I'm sure your dog was showing empathy and support,' he says. 'It's part of why our mutual bonds with them are so powerful.' He also tells me that the close eye contact we shared would have released oxytocin, the bonding hormone – in both of us. A 2021 study found that 80% of dog owners felt that their pet helped them get through tough times, and I've recently spoken to many people who felt the same. Sally Bayly, a yoga teacher from Rye in East Sussex, told me that when her husband, Michel, died in 2020, Lola, their black labrador, became extra attentive to her and her two sons. 'It was as if she'd lost one of her pack and was determined not to lose any more,' she said. 'Whenever one of us is feeling down, she'll come over and lie near us, put her head close to us, or lick our hands, face, even clothes.' Lola accompanies Bayly to classes, where she plays an important role: 'During relaxation, she walks around quietly, standing near people or sniffing them until they settle. She only lies down on her blanket when she feels everyone is totally relaxed. This helps me to know, too.' Margaret Walsh, a health and safety manager in the west of Ireland, told me how her cavachon helps her autistic son through difficult moments. 'Conor rocks when he's overstimulated, and as soon as Missy becomes aware of his distress she will jump on his lap, which helps them both relax.' Not everyone in the scientific community is willing to recognise such behaviour as empathy, however. One recent study concluded: 'It appears unlikely that dogs are capable of sympathy or empathy.' 'There is a belief in some quarters that certain emotional and cognitive capacities, like being empathic, are a human preserve,' says Dr Karen Hiestand, a lecturer in veterinary and animal ethics at the Royal Veterinary College, Hertfordshire, whose research centres on human-animal relationships. 'Attributing such qualities to other species is considered anthropomorphism or 'bad science'.' If our pets' seemingly caring behaviour isn't empathy, then what is it? One theory is that it could be driven by curiosity: why is my human not getting out of bed/making those strange sobbing sounds? Then there's what's known as 'emotional contagion', whereby witnessing an emotion in another 'infects' the observer with the same emotion. (This is easily seen in young toddlers – one begins to cry and soon the room is full of crying infants.) Emotional contagion doesn't require any understanding of why someone is feeling what they're feeling, or motivate support. That would be what Hiestand calls 'top-shelf empathy', 'where there's a cognitive component – a thought process that says: I know how you feel, and I'm going to try to do something to help.' One of the ways this has been investigated in nonhuman animals is by replicating studies originally designed to test toddlers. The parent/owner feigns some kind of sudden distress and the infant/animal's response is monitored – will they simply carry on with what they were doing? Will they get excited? Try to offer comfort? One such study sought to distinguish between emotional contagion and higher empathy by bringing a stranger into the mix. When the owner cried, the majority of dogs showed empathic concern and comfort offering: they approached them slowly and gently – some nuzzled or put a paw on their owner, a couple made whimpering noises. But what about the stranger? If they were only experiencing emotional contagion, the dog would go to their owner for comfort when the stranger cried. If empathy was at work, however, then the dog would approach the crying stranger and seek to comfort them. This is what happened: the dog noticed the stranger's distress and went to them to offer comfort. Hiestand's recent research adopted a similar experimental protocol – owners faked a sudden injury. But her study also included cats. A self-professed cat person ('till I die,' she says) Hiestand believes our feline friends are widely misunderstood – and unfairly compared with dogs. 'While we share our lives and homes with both, they are completely different, evolutionarily speaking,' she says. 'Dogs are highly social, group-living animals who have co-evolved with us for at least 40,000 years. Their ability to read us is huge. Domestic cats evolved from a completely solitary ancestor – the African wildcat – and have lived alongside us for far less time; any sociability they display is a domestication effect, not an inherent part of them.' By this token, a display of empathy from a cat in Hiestand's experiment would be quite extraordinary. So what happened? Like dogs, the cats did change their behaviour in response to the feigned injury. 'They stopped what they were doing. They looked at the owner more, though did not necessarily approach them. And they showed signs of stress, typically grooming a paw. Whether that's empathy, or whether it's 'something weird is happening to this important resource in my world, so I'll keep an eye on them', it's still significant.' Anne Hadley, a PhD student from Brighton, is convinced that her cat Harry is responsive to her emotional state. 'When I am distressed, he seems to sense my need for comfort without me seeking him out, and he provides it in the only way he knows – snuggling up to me and purring,' she says. 'He also loves being around me when I meditate, lying as close to me as possible.' Does Hiestand think her cat, Hermione, understands her? 'I don't know if she understands me, but recently she got beaten up by a neighbour's cat and sustained some nasty injuries,' she says. 'The normal thing for a cat that's in pain or stressed is to go away and hide. But she came to me for comfort and support. When a cat behaves that way, it is motivated solely by their relationship with you, it's not an innate response. She wanted to be close to me, and that made me feel amazing.' This raises an important point. If believing that Morris is taking extra care of me helps me feel better, then his actions are of value, regardless of what motivates them. Hiestand agrees. 'The participants in my study all reported increased bonds with the animals they believed were able to empathise with them, which provided great support.' Regardless of whether cats and dogs really care about our feelings, the fact that they can read our emotions so accurately in the first place is in itself remarkable. In a recent Seed Talk called The Psychology of Dogs, Bowen explains how dogs have learned that humans need to be looked at differently from dogs in order to read emotions. 'In humans,' he says, 'emotions are more clearly readable on the left side of the face. When we try to read each other's feelings, we tend to focus more – and for longer – at the left side of the face due to this asymmetry'. But dogs don't have one side of the face more expressive than the other. 'When they look at each other, they don't focus on the left side of the face because there's no need to. But when they look at us, they do,' says Bowen. Eye-tracking studies – which use technology to follow the focus of a subject's gaze – show something similar. If it's another dog they're looking at, a dog's first port of call will be the ears, then the mouth and eyes; but if it's a human, they look first at the frontalis muscles (that wrinkle the forehead or raise the eyebrows), then the cheeks (which work hard when we smile) and eyes. Cats, too, recognise the emotions represented by different human expressions and tones of voice. They have also learned to use their voices as a way of communicating what they are feeling – miaowing is primarily directed at humans, not other cats. 'Harry is the most vocal cat I have ever known,' says Hadley. 'He leaves you in no doubt about his feelings. His miaows vary from chatty to purry, to a demanding no-nonsense miaow and a tragic wail.' As a woman and a cat owner, Hadley represents the cohort of people who fared the best in a 2020 study by the University of Milan, which sought to test how adept people were at identifying the emotions associated with different cat miaows. Most people failed miserably. Given our long, shared history, you'd think we'd do better at reading dogs – but we're pretty hopeless at that, too. In research by Dr Holly Molinaro, from the Canine Science Collaboratory at Arizona State University, the majority of her 300 participants could not reliably gauge whether a dog in the video footage they were shown was happy or sad. Molinaro filmed a dog encountering a variety of situations: for example, being offered a treat, seeing a cat, or facing a man holding a leash or brandishing the vacuum cleaner. In the first instance, she only showed participants footage of the dog itself. Then she showed them the whole video. Given this new contextual information, they were much more forthcoming about whether the dog was happy or sad, calm or agitated. However, Molinaro noticed that they judged the dog's emotions not on his behaviour but on the situation. 'If he was in a positive scenario, they assumed he was happy; if it was negative, they assumed he was not happy,' she says. To test this out, Molinaro edited the video, swapping around the dog and background. For example, people were shown footage recorded when the dog was staring down the barrel of the vacuum cleaner, but in which he now appeared to be getting shown his leash. Despite having described him as feeling 'bad and agitated' in the first instance, they now rated him 'happy and calm'. 'The results clearly showed that people judged the dog's emotions not on his behaviour, but on the context,' Molinaro says. Even worse, when those who'd watched the doctored footage were asked what information they'd used to judge the dog's emotions, they chose 'context' the least, claiming to have observed the dog's actions and demeanour. 'We think we're looking at the dog but we're not.' Hiestand points out that even when we do look at our pets' expressions, we often misconstrue what we see. 'The idea that animals feel guilty when they've done something 'bad' is widespread, but it's incorrect,' she says. 'When you get home and they've ripped up a cushion, what you're seeing isn't guilt – it's fear. They are picking up that you are angry or upset.' Part of the problem is that we can't help imagining how we would feel in a given situation and projecting our own feelings on to them. 'It's so easy to do,' says Molinaro, admitting that despite her research, she still catches herself doing it with her cat. While our failure to read our pets' feelings can, on occasions, be disastrous (Hiestand calls the recent rise in dog bites an epidemic), the consequences are generally less serious: a dog having to endure a hug, when research shows the vast majority don't enjoy it; or as Hadley confesses, a longsuffering cat who, as a child, she would dress up in doll's clothes – and 'who never once scratched or protested'. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do better. 'There's an assumption that because we love our pets, their lives are good,' says Hiestand. 'That is categorically not the case. We need to be mindful of ignoring their needs. We need to get to know them, not just as a dog or a cat but as an individual.' Bowen agrees. Over the last few years, he has used his considerable knowledge and skill to address an important question. What makes Wisley tick? Wisley is a black labrador who, says Bowen proudly, is the best dog in the world. (Well, that's a coincidence, I say …) 'He likes playing Frisbee. But what exactly about the game does he like? Is it the chase? Is it catching? Does he like chasing and catching other objects – or only a Frisbee? By observing him and pinpointing the moment he enjoys the most, I've learned what he likes and can fulfil it,' he says. 'Knowing how to make your dog happy makes you happy.' I'd always liked to think I was pretty good at reading Morris. He has this way of talking with his eyes: I want a drink. I need to go outside. Can you two go to bed now? I'm tired. But writing this piece has given me paws (sorry) for thought. I've begun to notice that while he likes to come to me and sit very close when he senses I'm upset, he isn't comfortable with me forcing such contact – say, picking him up and carrying him to where I'm going. And, no, he isn't keen on being hugged. He'll tolerate it, but after a few moments he'll get down and sidle off. In future, rather than basing my interactions with Morris around what I want, I'm going to make the effort to be more mindful of how he is feeling. After all, he is the best dog in the world.
