Trouble in paradise for Scotland's Home of the Year
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SCOTLAND'S Home of the Year has a deserved reputation as a no-snark zone. So when a whiff of trouble enters paradise, as it did this week, it stands out like a broken window in a Bearsden cul-de-sac.
The first contender for the Highlands and Islands top spot was Tiny Skye Cabin, a small but perfectly formed structure down a dirt path.
Trouble arrived in the shape of judge Danny, wearing his usual Crocs, and fellow marker Anna, sporting blinding white trainers and not nearly enough layers for the weather. Total city mice on a country tour.
'It looks like it's made of tin,' said Danny of the cabin. 'Bet that makes a racket when it's raining.'
The interior was a study in minimalism. On the floor was a brown, indeterminate animal skin. It could have come from a sheep or a small bear. At least it cosied the place up a little, unlike the 'sofa', which was a wooden bench. 'This is SO comfortable,' said Danny in what must surely be the first sarky remark in the show's history.
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Overall the vibe was not cutting it with the judges. Don't get me wrong. They praised aspects here and there, and judge Banjo caused giggles in the wet room when he 'accidentally' turned the shower on. But there was no getting away from it. The homeowners had committed the ultimate SHOTY crime of offences against soft furnishings - mainly by not having them.
'I feel like we're in Marie Kondo's house,' said Banjo, referencing the Netflix organising queen. 'She says throw it out if it doesn't spark joy. These guys have thrown a lot of stuff out.'
An Cala Cottage on Skye was much more the judges' cuppas. The traditional bungalow, home to Caroline, Lee, and their collie Nuala, had been transformed using colour, charity shop finds and a custom-made bookcase.
Caroline, Lee, and their collie Nuala (Image: free IWC Media) 'It's simple and unapologetic, and maybe a bit scruffy. I quite like it,' said Danny.
'Sounds like me,' said Banjo, who later pronounced a bedroom 'hurkle-durkle'. The old Scots term was lost on Anna.
'Staying in bed all day,' explained Banjo. 'You've got to hurkle-durkle more.'
That would have left little time for the final house, La Hacienda, a converted farm steading in Kiltarlity near Inverness. This was a serious renovation that had taken seven years to complete.
La Hacienda was also home to what Anna called 'quite the craziest breakfast bar I have ever seen'. How to describe this hunk of stone piercing through a blonde wood top?
'It is unusual to have such a sculptural piece right in the middle of what should be your most functional space,' said Danny, no doubt imagining what it would be like to crack a non-Croc clad big toe against it first thing in the morning.
An Cala took first place. It was a cosy spot, but the score was the same as last week's modernist masterpiece in Central and Tayside. Do the two really compare? That's a battle for the final. Next week: the South.
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