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Russian volcano erupts for the first time in centuries

Russian volcano erupts for the first time in centuries

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19-Year-Old Wants to Go ‘Low Contact' with Family After Years of Being Compared to Her More Extroverted Twin Sister
19-Year-Old Wants to Go ‘Low Contact' with Family After Years of Being Compared to Her More Extroverted Twin Sister

Yahoo

time5 hours ago

  • Yahoo

19-Year-Old Wants to Go ‘Low Contact' with Family After Years of Being Compared to Her More Extroverted Twin Sister

'No matter how well I do, it is never as good as my sister. No matter how poorly she does, it is always better than me,' the teenager saidNEED TO KNOW A 19-year-old woman has spent her entire life being compared to her twin sister Her family continued to push the "be more like your sister" narrative even once she began to surpass her sibling academically "I've made the very tough decision to go very low contact with my family because I just cannot deal with the stress of constant comparison," the teen wrote on RedditA 19-year-old woman is reducing contact with her family after years of being made to feel that she could never live up to their expectations. On Monday, Aug. 4, the teenager explained in a post on Reddit's AITAH that she was constantly compared to her extroverted twin sister while growing up. She said her sibling was a 'living example of who I needed to become,' but she couldn't help but struggle with her grades and had difficulty making friends. The OP (original poster) revealed that it wasn't until she was diagnosed with autism at university that she was able to surpass her sister academically. 'I found a house to stay in, two well-paying jobs, and I support myself entirely,' OP said. 'My sister, on the other hand, blows all her money on booze and refuses to get a job as it would interfere with her studies.' The teen explained that when she tried to share her accomplishments with her family, they told her to keep quiet to avoid upsetting her sister. She said they defended her sister's drinking and drugs as part of her 'having a hard time' in university, while accusing her of 'cheating' to achieve her grades. 'They've continued to push the 'be more like your sister, and be normal' narrative,' OP said. 'When it came to friends, my sister would be out drinking and partying every night, while I would be in my room studying." 'They praised her for being social and making connections,' she continued. 'I have not made many extroverted friends in my time so far. My father uses this against me as proof that she is doing better." 'My whole life has been a sibling rivalry and I have just had enough,' she added. 'No matter how well I do, it is never as good as my sister. No matter how poorly she does, it is always better than me.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The teen said going 'very low contact' with her family has been a difficult decision to make, but feels necessary to keep her from stress. 'If they want me to be her, they can just have her,' she said. 'A part of me feels immense guilt because my father has always claimed he does this so I can succeed. Am I making the right choice?' Responses to the post attempted to reassure the teenager that she was making the right decision, as the constant comparison could negatively affect her mental health. 'NTA [not the a------] Your mental health and happiness are much more important than anything. Your parents suck. Live your best life,' one person said. 'Yes, this is the best choice. This is a golden child/scapegoat situation,' another commented. 'Sis is the golden child and will never do wrong. She could rob a bank and they would defend her, make her the victim and somehow make it your fault." 'If your father was doing this to make you succeed, he would do the same to your sister AND he would acknowledge you are succeeding,' the same person continued. 'Instead, he is showing his true nature by continually dragging you. NTA. Do not bear the guilt in this. They (parents) gave you this guilt as a means to justify their toxic actions. Stop carrying it and put it down.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword

Woman Tells Husband He Doesn't Get 'Credit' for Parenting 'Only When Asked'
Woman Tells Husband He Doesn't Get 'Credit' for Parenting 'Only When Asked'

Yahoo

time6 hours ago

  • Yahoo

Woman Tells Husband He Doesn't Get 'Credit' for Parenting 'Only When Asked'

One woman asked if she was too mean when talking to her husband about parenting dutiesNEED TO KNOW One woman asked if she was too harsh when talking to her husband about parenting duties On Reddit, she explained that she frequently has to ask him to help out with their two young kids, rather than him just taking the initiative to do things himself When she brought it up, he got "really hurt"A woman is at odds with her husband after telling him that he doesn't get "credit" for parenting their two young kids. The woman, a full-time nurse, explained on Reddit that she and her husband have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old. "I do most of the housework, meal planning, school forms, birthday gifts, and emotional labor that comes with keeping little humans alive and running a household," she writes. While her husband is a "loving" and "gentle" dad, he is only willing to help "when asked," she writes. "I still have to say things like: 'Can you get the kids dressed? Can you put them to bed tonight? Can you take them out so I can get 30 minutes to myself without being physically climbed on?'" she shares. When she brought these issues up to her husband, he got "defensive," replying, 'I do help, I gave them a bath last night, didn't I?' While the woman told him that she "appreciated it," she noted that "'helping' isn't really helping when I had to assign it like a task." "If I'm still the manager and he's just waiting for instructions, thats not equal parenting," she adds. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Her husband "got really hurt" and told her that she made him feel like a "bad dad," insisting that he's trying to do his best. The woman told him she doesn't 'need perfection,' but rather 'needs initiative.' Still, her husband told her that it was 'a really harsh way to put it" and has been "cold" to her ever since. While the woman asked Redditors if she was in the wrong, people in the comments section validated her feelings, noting that her husband needs to step up and help out more. 'The truth hurts. If you're having to assign him tasks you have another doesnt take a genius to know if your wife is working and doing the majority at home she's tired," one person wrote. "Paloma Faith once said If you see a woman in your household do the same act everyday, day after day. It means that the act needs to be done, and you shouldn't have to be asked to do it because that's exhausting in itself. Delegation is also a task." 'By saying he is helping, he is already shouting with his whole chest that he believes it is your responsibility,' another person commented. 'You don't want his help. You want his partnership in the responsibility.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword

Women Are Sharing The Things In Dating They Simply Won't Put Up With Anymore, And Honestly, Good For Them
Women Are Sharing The Things In Dating They Simply Won't Put Up With Anymore, And Honestly, Good For Them

Yahoo

time12 hours ago

  • Yahoo

Women Are Sharing The Things In Dating They Simply Won't Put Up With Anymore, And Honestly, Good For Them

Dating can be complicated and messy, but with each experience, ideally, you learn what you want and don't want in a future relationship. In r/AskWomen, a Redditor asked, "What's something you used to put up with in dating that you would never tolerate now?" The lessons were fresh and insightful. Here's what people had to say: 1."The silent treatment." —hhhaaaiii17 "No more begging to talk things through. Silence is also a message." —ScoreBusy4259 2."Low emotional intelligence." —plaid-blazer 3."The persecution complex. Every time I tried to talk through a conflict, he would implode with, 'So you think I'm a bad guy?' I will never tolerate that again. Either meet my concerns with equal concern as a partner or spill your insecurities to a therapist. I'm done comforting men who regularly hurt my feelings with their callousness." —oldmanpuzzles 4."Lack of effort." —gagirlpnw 5."Letting 'small' red flags of a person's character slide. When a guy makes snarky, sarcastic comments, or is passive-aggressive (whether to me or a server, etc.) I used to try to give them the benefit of the doubt, laugh it off, or ignore it. Only to find out later that the guy was holding back on those first few dates and is really an insecure, sarcastic asshole. Now, I have zero tolerance for that, and a red flag is a red flag no matter how small." —glitterglamandguts 6."Having to beg and fight for his attention and time." "In high school, I dated a lot of guys who would go days or weeks without texting or calling me, even on my birthday, or who I'd only see once a month. Then, I met my now-husband in college, and he was actively excited to spend time with me and talk to me. Sure, we have our own individual hobbies and spend time by ourselves, but we also genuinely enjoy being with each other." —Belle0516 7."Poor financial or business decisions." —themostresponsible 8."Never being willing to bend, and always doing things on his terms." —Immediate-Pool-4391 9."Going through the list of lessons learned from every ex..." "1. Cheating. Silent treatment. 2. Untreated mental illness. Shitty potential in-laws. Instability, both financially and emotionally. Bad housekeeping. Vaping. Poor boundary maintenance. Lack of friends outside of the relationship. He was a sweet guy and is a decent human being, but he had some serious issues that I was not equipped to handle. Never again. 3. Being an option, not a priority. Unbalanced effort and financial contributions. Weed. Bad oral hygiene. Schrodinger's jokes, especially at my expense. 4. Lack of responsibility for himself and his actions. Conspiracy theories. Questionable hygiene in general. Lack of ambition and direction. 5. Lack of commitment." —EcuaGirl21 10."Binge drinking/constant drinking." —copperandcrimson 11."Being criticized and judged for no good reason and having a competitive partner." —liquidnight247 12."Someone who is really insecure. My last two exes were like this. One of them constantly asked if I liked him while the other flirted with every girl he could." —babyangel21 13."Not being able to plan or make decisions. I used to date people like that. I was always the one deciding what to do, where we would go to eat. It's exhausting, and the 'I don't know, I don't care, you decide,' now gives me goosebumps. It should be shared." —applecakeandunicorns 14."Pestering me for sex after I said no." —Office_Warm 15."Situationships. If you don't like me enough to date me properly, then you don't like me enough." —Playful-Refuse-3824 16."Anyone who raises their voice and acts aggressively towards me, regardless of the situation." —Vivid_Economics_1462 17."Jealousy and insecurity, and a man not cleaning up after himself and living in a dirty place." Manuel Milan / Getty Images, Vovashevchuk / Getty Images —RedRose_812 18."Lack of self-awareness." —eloav 19."Badly managed mental illness. I have my own problems, I don't need a partner who treats me like their mommy and therapist in one." —PMmeBirdPics 20."Not being able to meet me halfway." "Like, I am chill with emotional baggage. You're insecure? Have trust issues? Struggle to assert yourself? Aren't good at expressing your emotions? That's fine. I am more than willing to do things differently to help you and make you feel comfortable, because I care about you. But I'm not going to sit here and reassure you or support you over and over and over again while you continue to keep doing those behaviors. I expect you to meet me halfway and to actually work on those issues. I'm not going to sit here and be villainized just because you'd rather react instead of act." —Sea_Client9991 21."I used to be so anxious when I was dating a new person. I used to stress over every single word I used in texts, and wonder if they thought I was annoying or that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't used to guys telling me they were interested, and I would feel like it was one-sided. My partner now made it clear from the get-go that he was interested in me, that he liked me, and that he wanted to get to know me and wanted to date me. There was never any confusion or worry. I never felt like I wasn't being too much or annoying." —efairchild97 lastly, "Being treated like I was lucky to have them. Now, I know I'm the prize." Any dating lessons or deal breakers to share? Let us know in the comments! Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Solve the daily Crossword

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