Woman Tells Husband He Doesn't Get 'Credit' for Parenting 'Only When Asked'

Yahoo

3 days ago

One woman asked if she was too mean when talking to her husband about parenting dutiesNEED TO KNOW
One woman asked if she was too harsh when talking to her husband about parenting duties
On Reddit, she explained that she frequently has to ask him to help out with their two young kids, rather than him just taking the initiative to do things himself
When she brought it up, he got "really hurt"A woman is at odds with her husband after telling him that he doesn't get "credit" for parenting their two young kids.
The woman, a full-time nurse, explained on Reddit that she and her husband have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old.
"I do most of the housework, meal planning, school forms, birthday gifts, and emotional labor that comes with keeping little humans alive and running a household," she writes.
While her husband is a "loving" and "gentle" dad, he is only willing to help "when asked," she writes.
"I still have to say things like: 'Can you get the kids dressed? Can you put them to bed tonight? Can you take them out so I can get 30 minutes to myself without being physically climbed on?'" she shares.
When she brought these issues up to her husband, he got "defensive," replying, 'I do help, I gave them a bath last night, didn't I?'
While the woman told him that she "appreciated it," she noted that "'helping' isn't really helping when I had to assign it like a task."
"If I'm still the manager and he's just waiting for instructions, thats not equal parenting," she adds.
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Her husband "got really hurt" and told her that she made him feel like a "bad dad," insisting that he's trying to do his best.
The woman told him she doesn't 'need perfection,' but rather 'needs initiative.' Still, her husband told her that it was 'a really harsh way to put it" and has been "cold" to her ever since.
While the woman asked Redditors if she was in the wrong, people in the comments section validated her feelings, noting that her husband needs to step up and help out more.
'The truth hurts. If you're having to assign him tasks you have another child..it doesnt take a genius to know if your wife is working and doing the majority at home she's tired," one person wrote. "Paloma Faith once said If you see a woman in your household do the same act everyday, day after day. It means that the act needs to be done, and you shouldn't have to be asked to do it because that's exhausting in itself. Delegation is also a task."
'By saying he is helping, he is already shouting with his whole chest that he believes it is your responsibility,' another person commented. 'You don't want his help. You want his partnership in the responsibility.'
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