A Week In San Diego, CA On A $143,524 Salary

Refinery29

3 days ago

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar.
Today: a customer experience senior manager who makes $143,524 per year and who spends some of her money this week on a theatre donation.
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Occupation: Customer experience, senior manager
Industry: SAAS technology
Age: 38
Location: San Diego, CA
Salary: $143,524
Household Income/Finances Setup: $143,524 — my husband V. and I share a single income. He used to own a business and supported me while I built my career, then he sold his business so we could pursue my career opportunities. He is now retired. We put almost all our monthly expenses on a points credit card, which we pay off in full each month. He does errands, laundry, and maintains the home and sticks to the budget we set together.
Assets: About $8,000 in liquid/emergency savings in a HYSA; $224,000 in retirement investment accounts; $18,000 in brokerage accounts (split into a dividend-focused portfolio and a long-term growth portfolio). We also have 10-year-old Honda, Blue Book is approximately $14,000 on it.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $4,382.81
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: We rent a loft in the downtown area for $2,900 and pay an additional $175 for a dedicated parking space in a garage.
Loan Payments: $0
Internet: $65
SDG&E Electric & Gas: $125-350 (this varies. It's low in the winter, then up to $350 in the summer — and that's not just a/c, the prices go way up in summer).
ClassPass: $99
Entertainment Subscriptions: $165 (streaming services, AI, games, LinkedIn Pro).
Coffee Bean Subscription: $45
Money To Family: $350
Life Insurance: $86 ($38 for me and $48 for V.).
Savings 'Expenses': $307.81 auto-deposit from paycheck (after net) to retirement; $500 transferred to brokerage.
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Oh, yes. It was absolutely understood that everyone in our family must go to college or university and absolutely must pay for it themselves, just like my parents did, because (to my parents) that's the only path to upward mobility. They were enormously disappointed when I chose to go to trade school instead of university, but I chose one that still offered a bachelor's to mitigate the impact. Even so, I'm the youngest of five kids and was still the first to get a college degree (some of my siblings later got undergrad and graduate degrees). To pay for school I took out student loans (going into tens of thousands of dollars into debt as a teenager) and worked full time. When I graduated with my degree, my parents paid off one year's worth of tuition of my loans as a graduation gift. I'm lucky to have paid off the last of my student loans last year.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents tried very hard to teach us about money and finances. They encouraged savings and budgeting and would fill in an accounting ledger of household expenses with us, and were transparent about resource constraints. If we wanted something we had to present a 'business case' for the purchase explaining our reasoning, the budget for it, and where we expected the money to come from. At any time we could do work around the house or property for an hourly wage to 'earn' enough to 'pay' for our item and they would show us how it was budgeted. My dad would also talk around the dinner table and with his friends about investments/stocks/the economy which we sometimes paid attention to and often didn't.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Aside from working around the house, I would babysit, do odd jobs, and sell things around the neighborhood. Around Christmastime my sisters and I would gather mistletoe from the trees and tie it up with ribbon and sell them outside the grocery store for extra spending money. My sisters were in FFA and raised and sold livestock, but I never really involved myself with that. I would deliver eggs across the neighborhood for money. We were very entrepreneurial. I got a job at a local ice cream and smoothie shop in town as soon as I turned 16 to start earning 'real money' at minimum wage.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I thought about money constantly growing up. I hated being stuck out in the country and really wanted to live in a city, and I thought money was the only way to gain independence and accomplish that. I started saving money as early as I could and was always looking for opportunities to grow my little nest egg so I could move out on my own. I dreamed every night about a house with no siblings in it!
Do you worry about money now?
I try not to, but honestly, I do. I make a good salary that feels like it should be 'enough', but I worry about having enough money for retirement. I have some savings but not much and I know my parents will leave me an inheritance, but I still worry about the future and our long-term finances. Day to day and month to month, I'm not too concerned, although there are some luxuries I go without because I feel guilty buying them and some luxuries I'm totally capricious about (usually food). Our biggest expenses are entertainment (concerts, shows), travel (when we can), gifts (big families), and food (high grocery expense and dining out), so it is easy to pull back if we start to feel overextended.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I moved out of my parents' house when I graduated high school at 18 and was completely financially independent from that time on. During college they would give cash gifts for my birthday and Christmas to help me out, but no regular support. I understand the enormous privilege of knowing that if I were ever hard-pressed or insolvent my parents would be able to, and likely willing to, bail me out.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes — my parents paid off about $12,000 worth of student loans when I graduated college with my degree. When my grandmother passed she left each of us $10,000 and my dad's brother left all the nieces and nephews $20,000 when he passed away (he had no children). My sister gave me her car when she moved away and my husband's family gave us a car when a grandparent passed away. I currently receive about $900 a year in dividends from my investment accounts and those are all reinvested back into the portfolio. My parents intend to leave money and property to us kids, evenly divided, when they eventually pass.
Day One: Wednesday
4:15 a.m. — UGH, a neighbor's poor dog has been barking for hours and disturbing our sleep. It's just been a generally noisy night so sleep has been interrupted a lot. Such is urban living! It's one of the trade-offs at times. We try to go back to sleep and drift in and out. Around 5:20 a.m. we just commit to being awake. I do my usual morning routine: check the news, play my word games, send Wordle to Dad, and check in on the schedule and work before my team starts at 6 a.m.
6:45 a.m. — Realize we forgot to buy milk (again), so I have a double espresso instead of my usual cappuccino. An avid tea drinker, I brew a pot of Thunder Dragon green tea — smells amazing, but a little too delicate, I note on the bag to try mixing it.
9:30 a.m. — V. (my husband, retired) does a grocery run (eggs, milk, and cereal) and makes me a cappuccino when he gets back. Morning meetings done. One of my team is out on parental leave, so I give the other departments a sweet update about the new baby. I check in with HR about a gift. $31.46
12 p.m. — Pulled into a call and work through lunch. I snack on wasabi peas and a peanut mix while trying to figure out when I'll squeeze in yoga today…
2:45 p.m. — Sign off early. It's gray and rainy and I'm ready to be done. I confirm plans with my friend S. for tonight (we're watching Succession together) and decide we'll start at 5 p.m. I was thinking about a bath but V. is using the tub for hand-wash laundry. I realize I'm so hungry, so I eat half the Caprese salad we made yesterday and finish the wasabi peas. V. puts on music (The Smiths, Kraftwerk, Blondie) while I prep dinner, then he cleans the tub and draws me a bath. He takes over dishes and cleanup. I open a bottle of Rioja from my dad's cellar (his favorite gift to give) — perfect rainy-day pairing.
6 p.m. — Our friends S. and P. come over for our weekly viewing night. I bake chicken and veggies on a sheet pan, make a big salad, and bake madeleines as a treat.
9 p.m. — We do our nighttime routine: wash face and follow with glycolic acid, The Ordinary serums, moisturizer, and lip balm. Brush and floss teeth. Body and foot lotion and a sleep mask on my eyes!
Daily Total: $31.46
Day Two: Thursday
5:30 a.m. — Awake but groggy from a restless night. I check work to make sure nothing needs immediate attention before my team starts at 6 a.m., then lounge reading the news and playing my morning games. V. is still snoozing, and I didn't get out of bed for yoga today. I drag myself up, wash my face, put on my beloved Coola Sun Silk Drops (I'm obsessed!), and make a cappuccino. I sip and scroll Reddit for a bit while the sun rises and the fog burns off outside our windows.
7 a.m. — Sit down to work and dig into the new analytics framework we're building to support the revenue team. I brew a big pot of genmaicha and go heads-down until lunch.
10:15 a.m. — Skipped yoga again this morning, so V. and I tackle 40 minutes of Rodney Yee Power Yoga. Quick shower and hair wash afterward, then back to my desk with a snack: cottage cheese topped with black pepper, plus a fresh pot of Thunder green tea.
11:30 a.m. — V. reminds me that his dad's birthday party is this weekend and he needs to grab a gift. He orders high-end socks his dad mentioned over the holidays. Shift gears for a team training session. We're adding a new discipline to the team, and it leaves me feeling really excited for the future. $70
2 p.m. — Virtual happy hour with a former colleague. She's recently married and in a new role she loves! I share that I'm preparing for a pivot to a larger company and reflect on how much I've developed over the past year.
3 p.m. — Done with work and head over to my dad's house to help him hang some pictures, so he thanks me with lemons from my mom's garden and a box of wine bottles from his cellar (score!). I rush home to hand off the car so V. can go to a friend's game night.
5 p.m. — Solo night in! I steam a couple of eggs, reheat some leftovers V.'s sister sent us home with on Friday, and heat up a pot of ramen broth. Open one of the gifted white wines to chill. Quick sweep while dinner heats. Sparkling water in a giant glass and ready to watch a movie remotely with my brother (Edge of Tomorrow). We text live reactions throughout. He lives far away so this is our monthly routine to stay in touch, I do a remote-view movie night with each of my siblings on occasion (two brothers and two sisters, all live far from me). It's a nice way to keep in touch without the pressure of a full conversation — we all live very different lives and my brothers especially are of few words.
8 p.m. — I take a quick shower, wash my face and do a hydration mask (Paula's Choice Repair+) and start watching things I like that V. doesn't (specifically, a Jane Austen mini series called Lost in Austen. I love it but five hours of Jane Austen is too much for him). I end up falling asleep on the couch.
11 p.m. — V. wakes me up when he gets home. We chat, brush teeth, and head to bed by 11:30 p.m. So glad I have tomorrow off!
Daily Total: $70
Day Three: Friday
5 a.m. — V. and I are wide awake! On a Friday! We snuggle and lounge and read in bed until 7 a.m., then he makes us cappuccinos and puts on a jazz mix this morning — Domi and JD Beck, Khruangbin, Miles Davis. We read and play games for a bit; I have today off from work (I sprinkle in PTO days on weekdays to run errands and spend some time together — we haven't been traveling lately so I don't need to save up vacation days).
9 a.m. — V. hops in the shower and I do some mobility training and a dumbbell circuit. While he's shaving, I clean up and we both get ready for our hair appointment at 11 a.m. I realize I'm hungry, so I make a peanut butter and banana sandwich and weigh out the peanut butter — which comes with the realization I have forgotten to track ANY of my meals for the entire week! I'm tracking to drop a few pounds and ensure I keep my protein intake up (I know protein is a contentious topic in Money Diaries, but I do struggle to eat enough of it). I try not to beat myself up about it and log *this* snack. It's almost exactly half of my daily calories — so I guess that's a meal, not a snack! I log it in my nutrition tracker for the first time this week.
11 a.m. — We drive to our hair appointment with my friend, who runs her own salon studio. V. grabs coffees for all of us from the cart outside ($32.45). Haircuts for both of us are $150. She's the only one who touches my hair — we also do keratin treatments two or three times a year. Today it's just a trim each for me and V. $182.45
12:45 p.m. — Back home and chill out for a bit, playing games and reading. I start a new book, Automated Alice. V. suggests going down the block for a snack so we grab Palomas, guac, and sopes at our usual happy hour spot. $80.82
2 p.m. — Back home again, we lounge and watch an episode of Reacher and do our nails — cut, file, buff, and cuticle cream.
5 p.m. — I make a salad and we open one of the wines from Dad's cellar. We settle in for a lazy night and talk about the day.
9 p.m. — Nighttime routine: wash face, hyaluronic, peptides, moisturizer. Brush and floss and into bed.
Daily Total: $263.27
Day Four: Saturday
7:22 a.m. — It's Saturday! Sleep in a bit, then I putz around on my phone while V. makes coffee and puts on a great mix — Black Pumas, The Kills, Anderson .Paak. I do yoga while we listen to music. After, we chat about meals for the week and make a grocery list. I text with my dad about watching a movie together tonight — he's headed to the farmers' market and can grab veggies. We wash up and head to the store around 10 a.m.
11:30 a.m. — We drive to the good grocery store since we need heavier pantry items, which makes it a pricier trip. We restock on some spendy items: giant bottle of olive oil, a few spices, hot sauce, canned beans and peppers, two bottles of wine. We also pick up groceries for the week (salmon, chicken, pie dough, frozen and fresh veggies, eggs, whole and non-fat milk, and a pack of beer) plus some treats: freeze-dried strawberries for a new recipe to try, chocolate covered almonds. $235.46
12 p.m. — Back home, we unpack groceries. V. cracks a beer and puts on more music — Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Phoenix, Hot Chip — while I prep dinner. I cold-brew green tea with rose, then chop veggies and chicken for a pot pie. I try the new cookie recipe using ground freeze-dried strawberries. The dough smells amazing, but they come out underbaked despite following the instructions and leaving them in an extra couple of minutes. I always try a recipe as-written first before making any updates — I will definitely want to tweak this one.
3 p.m. — I spend the next couple of hours working on my passion project — I'm building a small app in my free time. After that, V. and I chill with some TV before heading out to see our friend in a play tonight. I've been avoiding it, but I finally check my investment account to see how it's doing after the tariff announcements. Most of my holdings are long-term or dividend-focused, but I'm down 12%. Woof. Trying not to stress.
6 p.m. — Despite having older sisters, I never learned to do hair or makeup — they always did it for me. I went to culinary school and worked in kitchens, so there was never much need. Now, anytime I try to 'glam up' for an event or date night, I feel totally lost. This year I'm trying to teach myself using YouTube. I practice curling my hair with a curling iron my mom gave me. It turns out bouncy and cute! The makeup doesn't work, so I wash it off and stick with my usual tinted sunscreen and mascara. Still, I feel good and head out to the play with V. It's a long drive up to North County to the playhouse. We jam out to some music, find easy street parking, and pick up our tickets at the box office before the show. $37.50
8 p.m. — At intermission, V. grabs us each a drink and drops a donation to the theater. $39
10:20 p.m. — We finally get home. We eat some Triscuits and watch a little Schitt's Creek to wind down before bed.
Daily Total: $311.96
Day Five: Sunday
7 a.m. — We're up and lounging with cappuccinos. There's a lot of noise outside as a block party is being set up downtown. We hang on the couch reading and chatting with the windows open, listening to the city wake up.
9:30 a.m. — We roll out our mats and do an hour of yoga. Both of us had plans to do workouts later, but neither of us is feeling it, so we call this our movement for the day. After yoga, we make a big pot of tea and sit down to read with music on.
11 a.m. — V. finishes off the leftover chicken pot pie and I eat some cottage cheese with a big glass of milk. Then we head out for a long walk in the sunshine along the waterfront, people-watching and boat-gazing until the heat drives us back home. V. and I are watching the Spartacus show he got me into and we make it to the finale! So surprising! I'm so excited to continue but sad to see that season 2 goes back in time as a prequel so I will have to wait until season 3 for the events to continue!!
1:45 p.m. — I'm feeling snackish so I quickly mix together one of our favorite snacks — yogurt cake. Unfortunately after mixing the cake batter I realize I loaned our cake pans to a friend! I make do with two mini casserole dishes but the cake will bake weird in glass — it will still be a tasty snack but not the intended texture. I top one with almonds and one with the leftover fresh strawberries from yesterday. They indeed turn out weird but fine.
3:30 p.m. — V. opens a bottle of white wine while we settle in to watch the Spartacus prequel and munch on yogurt cake. We purchase the season, which is $9.99, using credit card points. It's a pretty good story and I like how it fits into the season 1 we just finished, but I'm still really eager to move on to the events following the dramatic season 1 finale. Lucy Lawless is flawless in this show!
5 p.m. — I prep dinner: roasted salmon covered in gochujang and blood orange slices, plus a giant Caesar salad with roasted red peppers, tiny mozzarellas, parmesan and Caesar dressing with lots of lemon juice added to thin the dressing. V. checks if The White Lotus finale is out yet — almost!
6:30 p.m. — After The White Lotus, we clean up and discuss the episode — and the whole season. We, like anybody, do plenty of multi-episode watches, but I really like the current series that we watch along the way because the forced week of reflection gives us lots of chances to talk through the story and discuss our impressions. These conversations are the most fun part of experiencing the content for me, like discussing a good book one is reading.
8 p.m. — The block party is still going strong, so instead of getting ready for bed, we hang out in the living room with a sitcom on in the background and play some games. The party cranks the volume for the final songs — lots of Journey singalongs — and we wait it out — they have a pretty strict curfew of 10 p.m. for these block parties so it shouldn't be loud too much longer.
9:30 p.m. — Nighttime routine and into bed. Music cuts off at 10 p.m. sharp and it's quiet again. We fall asleep immediately.
Daily Total: $0
Day Six: Monday
6:45 a.m. — At my desk with a cappuccino and ready to start the day. Today's tea is roasty-toasty hojicha, which feels cozy. I dive into email and prep work for a report due today. I also fill in my planner every Monday morning and, it's silly, but I give myself a little gold sticker for any days in the previous week that were '$0 Days' or a day where we didn't spend any money. It's a little pat on the back for myself.
10 a.m. — I use my lunch break for a full-body workout and snack on some cottage cheese. Back to the grind after.
1 p.m. — My afternoon analytics meeting ends up being a no-show, which is a bit of karmic balance — I totally ghosted someone earlier last week by missing a meeting. I rescheduled it, of course, but still feel bad. I get the time back and keep working on refining our analytics.
3 p.m. — Done with work for the day! I spend some time brainstorming and journaling ahead of dinner with my dad tonight. We like to meet a few times a year to talk through family stuff, end-of-life planning, and creative projects we're working on. He's mentoring me on a short story idea, and I want to bring some thoughts to share.
5 p.m. — Try curling my hair again — I'm getting better at it! V. walks me to dinner and I check in for our reservation.
9 p.m. — Dinner was great! Dad gave me updates on his and mom's end-of-life plans and we talked about the rest of the family. Most of the time we just brainstormed ideas for a short story we want to co-write. I've never been much of a writer, but he wrote a few novels (unpublished), and I love the idea of collaborating. Last time we tried, I totally froze up. This time I have a solid idea, and he's excited to help me get it started. V. meets us at the restaurant for a nightcap and then walks me home to hear all about it. Dad treats dinner. V. picked up Thai takeout while I was out. $45.06
10 p.m. — Nighttime routine. I forget to wash my face (oops). Bed.
Daily Total: $45.06
Day Seven: Tuesday
5 a.m. — I'm awake but just laying with my eyes closed and letting my mind wander. V. and I will often wake up but stay in a half rest and snuggle in the morning for a little bit. I grab my phone for my usual news and games and then get up at 6 to wash my face.
6:30 a.m. — Make my cap and send Wordle off to my dad. I have a call in the personal development realm at 7 a.m. so instead of a video I just stretch and do yoga while reading the instructions for that call. Still feeling Monday's workout in my hamstrings so they get a lot of attention. At 6:45 a.m. I log into work and get prepped. I'm solid with meetings straight through until lunch so I brew a big pot of tea and get out my notepad!
11:17 a.m. — Back to back meetings all morning — barely even time to pee! I'm hungry and seem to have a crick in my neck that I need to stretch out. I'm a little late getting to lunch and have to hurry back for another meeting so I'll have an abbreviated lunch. I grab a quick snack of a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a big glass of milk. I munch on this while I scroll LinkedIn and make some updates to my personal webpage for the job hunt, then brainstorm some ideas for personal development to feed the process. Then it is back to the grind.
3 p.m. — Done! V. stepped out for a massage (booked using ClassPass, so he only pays the gratuity) so I have the house to myself so I ditch the headphones and put on some music for my usual post-work dance break with light tidying — today it's Tame Impala, Thudercat, and Toro y Moi (we are seeing him in concert in May, can't wait!). $30
3:30 p.m. — V. is back and we will be heading over to his sister's house for dinner and TV tonight. She makes dinner but it usually isn't quite enough food and protein for V.'s macros so we cook up a ground turkey taco bowl to give him a boost and I pick at it a little and eat some cottage cheese. We head to his sister's.
9 p.m. — We stop for gas on the way home from V.'s sister's. She, as usual, sent us home with a bunch of leftovers and oranges from her tree. I want to clean up the kitchen before heading to bed (I like to wake up to a blank slate and not have yesterday's mess around). I do some cleanup — this kind of irks V... He doesn't work so he considers maintaining the home 'his' responsibility and sometimes when I clean he takes it as a comment on something he missed, so he apologizes or tells me that he was going to do that — but I think that we both live here and contribute to the making of the mess, so cleaning is everyone's responsibility. It can be tricky to manage the emotional aspect but luckily we are both kind and generous people so we just talk it out. I try to tell him that I don't *mind* cleaning, I like to tidy! My skin feels a little grimy after kitchen work so I grab a quick shower and a good scrub before my nighttime routine and into bed. $68.42
Daily Total: $98.42
The Breakdown
Conclusion
'This week felt like it included a lot of 'extras', like getting our hair cut (every few months), dining out a little more, and a big grocery restock of things we don't buy often. I'm constantly trying to rein in our grocery budget, which always seems so high for just two people, so I try to keep trips to the store to about $100 and make sure nothing goes bad or gets wasted. With the political uncertainty around recent policy changes (announcing tariffs, then pausing them, etc) the volatility makes me a bit nervous. I'll try to buy the dip in my brokerage, but I'm very risk averse, so it makes me extra anxious. Actually writing everything down, including what V. was spending, was really eye-opening for me about how things add up over the week and afterwards we sat down and redid our budget. I think the little kitschy elements like my gold sticker for $0 days help me have a positive approach to managing my money without delving into stress and worry while introducing and maintaining good habits.'