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The Thick of It writer had comically angelic skills with dark arts

The Thick of It writer had comically angelic skills with dark arts

Timesa day ago
Jesse Armstrong admits his political nous is far from Malcolm Tucker's skills
DIA DIPASUPIL/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES
The comedy writer Jesse Armstrong may have co-created the fearsome Malcolm Tucker, but this was clearly not based on his own experiences as a political operator. Long before writing The Thick of It, Armstrong worked as a researcher for the Labour MP Doug Henderson, and his skill with the political dark arts made him look like a veritable angel. In fact, he wilted in the face of some of Westminster's less than Satanic devils. 'Liz Kendall would come and ask me questions, and I felt like a rabbit in the headlights,' Armstrong tells Always Take Notes. Perhaps the biggest clue came when he attended the Labour Party conference and wondered why everyone thought he was a Lib Dem. A friend replied: 'You're wearing a yellow tie, you moron.'
Discussing the current scandal in which several Spanish politicians have had to resign for fabricating details about their educational attainments, the journalist Rob Hutton told Times Radio that one of his favourite such stories concerns a Russian politician. 'His PhD thesis was found to contain more than 16 pages of text taken verbatim from an American textbook,' he said. 'That's why you've never heard of Vladimir Putin.'
There were confused faces at the Royal Albert Hall as the audience attending the BBC Proms: 'Soul Revolution' were greeted with Radio 2's new slogan, 'Make Every Day Less Everyday'. One Beeb insider remarked that even W1A, the sitcom satire of the BBC, would have deemed this too ludicrous. The team responsible for the slogan insists that it makes sense: 'It's not about making every day less, it's about making it less everyday.' They are, of course, spinning — as is Lord Reith in his grave.
The broadcaster Iain Dale's ability to talk has done more than gain him a career. While listing ten things not to say when pulled over by the police, Dale recalled on his Substack that he did once try to get away with speeding by telling the copper that he was on his way to appear on Sky News. 'What are you going to be talking about?' he was asked. 'Police pay,' Dale replied. 'And what are you going to be saying, sir?' the officer inquired. 'That the police are underpaid and deserve a pay rise.' He got off without the three points — though, as a West Ham fan, he's used to that.
It was penblwydd hapus (happy birthday) to Plaid Cymru on Tuesday, as the party celebrated its 100th anniversary. One of its policies still has some way to go, given an incident a few years ago on a bus between Newport and Cwmbran. A Muslim woman was talking to her son in a foreign language when a man leant across to tell her: 'When you're in the UK, you should really be speaking English.' Another passenger turned round and replied: 'She's in Wales. And she's speaking Welsh.' Plaid is hoping have a million Welsh speakers by 2050, so such rude interventions should cease. For now, the gentleman was left looking sheepish — not that that's a bad look west of the Wye.
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Returned and reeling: Afghans expelled from Iran struggle to start over
Returned and reeling: Afghans expelled from Iran struggle to start over

Reuters

time26 minutes ago

  • Reuters

Returned and reeling: Afghans expelled from Iran struggle to start over

ISLAM QALA, Afghanistan, August 7 (Reuters) - Habiba, an Afghan woman who fled Taliban rule to pursue a master's degree in engineering in Iran, was deported in July just before she was about to complete her studies. The 31-year-old, who declined to give her family name for fear of repercussions, said she returned to her homeland with little more than her laptop and documents, the last traces of a future she nearly secured, one of hundreds of thousands forced to return in recent weeks as Iran ramped up expulsions of Afghans in the wake of its war with Israel. "I was so close," Habiba told Reuters at the Afghan border post of Islam Qala. She said she had just saved enough to complete her thesis, the final step before graduation, and now will have to start over in a country where women are barred from high school, let alone university. Aid agencies say accusations by Iranian authorities that Afghan nationals were spying for Israel triggered a surge in deportations, with the UN refugee agency UNHCR reporting nearly 700,000 Afghans expelled from Iran since the beginning of June. The two countries share a 920-km (550-mile) land border through a flat, arid landscape. Iranian officials maintain those deported were undocumented and most left voluntarily, citing security and resource concerns. Interior Minister Eskandar Momeni said in July that 70% of the 1 million who left since March did so by choice, local media reported. Local media quoted Nader Yarahmadi, an adviser to Iran's Interior Ministry and head of its Centre for Foreign Nationals and Immigrants Affairs, as saying that temporary census cards held by about 2 million Afghan nationals were invalidated from March and that they had until July to leave. An additional 2.1 million Afghans in Iran had no documents, he said. The number of Afghans returning exploded after Israel and Iran fought a 12-day war in June. UNHCR estimates Iran deported an average of more than 30,000 Afghans each day during the war, up 15-fold from about 2,000 earlier. But Iranian officials have downplayed espionage claims as isolated media reports. The crackdown is on illegal immigrants, Yarahmadi said. Aid workers at Islam Qala said some of the returnees arrived after days without food or water. Momeni said deportations were conducted with 'respect and dignity,' but admitted the war triggered rushed exits, leaving many without their wages or possessions. Reuters interviewed 26 Afghans who had recently returned from Iran, many of whom described coming home to a country that now feels unfamiliar and unlivable. Most of them denied they were illegal immigrants in Iran and said they had held some form of documentation. Rahela, 37, said she had built a steady livelihood in Tehran as a certified makeup artist and seamstress. Now back in the Afghan city of Herat with her two daughters, she says she sees no future. She says she separated from her husband several years ago after he struggled with drug addiction, and has been raising her daughters alone ever since. The Taliban's restrictions bar women from most forms of employment and from travelling long distances without a male guardian. 'I have no helper and no male guardian (mahram),' she said. Her father, although a mahram, is elderly and unable to accompany her or provide support, leaving her effectively confined, she said. The flood of refugees returning to Afghanistan from Iran and Pakistan is straining aid in a country already grappling with economic collapse, donor fatigue and a ban on girls' secondary education. But it is the post-conflict purge from Iran that has overwhelmed Afghan authorities and aid workers, many of whom say they were unprepared for the scale and speed of the deportations. The Taliban-led government has urged Iran to proceed gradually, and allow returnees time to settle financial affairs and retrieve personal property. While the women who have returned spoke of lost rights and opportunities, Afghan men described split families, derailed plans and an uncertain future. Rahim Uzbek, 59, said he was arrested at his job as a security guard, deported alone, and is now living in a mosque near the Islam Qala crossing, away from his two wives and seven children who remained in Iran, although they were also Afghan nationals. He said that he had some money tied up in an advance payment for rent in Iran, but the landlord did not return it. 'I have no assets or savings, nor do I have any shelter or place to stay,' he said, with tears in his eyes. 'I have no idea what to do.' Mansoor Ahmad, 21, a metalworker from Kabul, said he was arrested at work and deported without his family. He said Iranian officers accused him of helping someone escape a deportation camp and beat him when he denied it. 'When I spoke, they beat me. When I stayed silent, they beat me again,' he said. 'Then they put me in solitary.' Red marks and bruises were visible on his back and shoulders, consistent with being struck or kicked. Iranian officials deny systemic abuse. The Iranian chargé d'affaires in Kabul, Alireza Bigdeli, said there were no official reports of mistreatment but acknowledged 'some may be unhappy with the way they were treated, detained, or returned.' Iranian authorities say they tried to prevent family separations but admit the post-war rush split some families. Students were encouraged to leave with relatives under a voluntary return plan. While many of the Afghans said life in Iran was tough, marked by discrimination, high costs and a constant sense of being unwelcome, they still had goals. Some worked, others studied. 'The situation in Iran was very difficult,' said Rahela. 'People treated us harshly. They humiliated and insulted us. But at least there was security and work. Women could work... and that was good for us."

Keir Starmer must let in sunlight to avoid further lobbying scandals
Keir Starmer must let in sunlight to avoid further lobbying scandals

Times

timean hour ago

  • Times

Keir Starmer must let in sunlight to avoid further lobbying scandals

Lord Cameron of Chipping Norton long ago predicted that lobbying would be 'the next big scandal' to hit politics, warning of the dangers of what happens behind closed doors. 'We all know how it works. The lunches, the hospitality, the quiet word in your ear, the ex-ministers and ex-advisers for hire, helping big business find the right way to get its way,' he said in 2010. It was somewhat apt that despite introducing the first real oversight for lobbyists, the former prime minister was caught in just such a scandal after he departed from office. Despite a repeated cycle of scandals involving what Lord Cameron spoke of, lobbyists have continued to work in the shadows. As this newspaper has exposed, the Starmer government is facing serious questions over 'cash for access' after businesses were approached by a Labour group offering private meetings with 'an influential Labour figure'. The Labour Infrastructure Forum (LIF), which is run by lobbyists from Bradshaw Advisory along with an advisory council of senior party figures, has offered businesses the chance to meet 'key policymakers' to help 'shape the discussion'. The forum has offered sponsorship packages for potential clients, including breakfast meetings for almost £9,500. Darren Jones, the chief secretary to the Treasury, has spoken at an LIF event. • Labour 'leaving public in the dark' about payments from lobbyists Although the LIF insists that the sponsorship money is used to cover costs, the group declined a request by The Times to disclose details of which companies had sponsored events at what cost until its next annual report. The Labour Party too has declined to say which senior figures had attended any LIF meetings. Yet undercover reporting has shown Gerry McFall, director of the forum alongside his leading role at Bradshaw Advisory, boasted of meetings between his clients and senior figures in government, including Jonathan Reynolds, the business secretary. There is a clear problem here that must be addressed. The Office of the Registrar of Consultant Lobbyists, which was set up during Lord Cameron's premiership, governs lobbying and is supposed to ensure it is transparent and open. Businesses who regularly engage in lobbying, known as 'consultant lobbyists', are required to register their activities. Yet the LIF was not required to register as it did not fall under this category: in-house lobbyists who are employed directly by companies, think tanks or 'forums' are not required to register. This must be addressed: all lobbying activity should be recorded, along with the details of who exactly is meeting which ministers. That being said, ministers should show more common sense. Mr Jones should have done due diligence before speaking at an LIF event. The same goes for Mr Reynolds, the minister most exposed to the potential influence of businesses. The lack of records charting his meeting with a Bradshaw Advisory client at a Labour conference highlights another flaw in transparency rules, which does not require ministers to report meetings at such events not deemed to be in a ministerial capacity. Even if the party insists it was instead 'held in a political capacity', Mr Reynolds should have realised that he should strive for transparency. • How we exposed Labour's cosy links to lobbyists None of this is to say that all lobbying is inherently bad, or that onerous restrictions are required. It is essential to good policy making that ministers hear from businesses — particularly a government that has as little private sector experience as this one. But it must be done in an open and transparent manner, something lacking at present. According to an analysis by the Chartered Institute of Public Relations, registered Westminster lobbyists account for just 0.5 per cent of registered lobbyists across a host of similar countries. If Sir Keir Starmer is to avoid further such scandals, he must strengthen the oversight. By letting in as much sunlight as possible, it will go some way to curtail any sense of wrongdoing, real or perceived.

From planned funerals to spending 'fake' winnings: How dozens of Gala Bingo players thought they'd scooped their share of £1.6million... only to be told it was a GLITCH
From planned funerals to spending 'fake' winnings: How dozens of Gala Bingo players thought they'd scooped their share of £1.6million... only to be told it was a GLITCH

Daily Mail​

time2 hours ago

  • Daily Mail​

From planned funerals to spending 'fake' winnings: How dozens of Gala Bingo players thought they'd scooped their share of £1.6million... only to be told it was a GLITCH

More than 1,000 Gala Bingo players were left with shattered dreams and empty pockets after the prizes they thought they had won were the result of an online glitch. The players believed they had nabbed up to £10,000 each from a prize pot of £1.6million on the popular online gambling site. But when they attempted to withdraw their winnings, they were told by the company that they would not be able to cash the money. The glitch in the bingo company's system resulted in the prize pot increasing to £1.6million when it should have only reached a maximum of £150. As a result, 1,188 players were left disappointed and out of pocket. The gambling site then sent out an email to its customers explaining the wins were a result of a technical fault and confirming that they would not be receiving the thousands of pounds some of the players felt they were owed. One family told The Daily Mail that they had hoped to spend their winnings on a funeral for a relative and were upset and disappointed when Gala Bingo said they could not cash the £9,600 they thought they had won. The Scottish pair, who wished to remain anonymous, discovered their accounts frozen and the money nowhere to be seen after playing online on Monday. A Scottish couple had hoped to spend their £7,000 on a funeral for a family member who had recently died and were disappointed when they were told the winnings were not theirs to cash One player even had his account on the website frozen and claims he has had his chat room privileges stopped because he was encouraging others to complain The woman revealed that her partner had recently lost his mother and was over the moon to find the 1p game providing winnings of up to £7,200. She confessed that they both felt like the Scotsman's mother was watching over and smiling down at them. She added that she also tried to cash in on the good luck and enjoyed a game of bingo, taking home £2,4000 herself. The couple were relieved by the surprise windfall and planned to spend the jackpot on a fully pink-themed funeral in honour of his mother complete with pink kilts. The woman said: 'My partner went up to get his medication and when he came back and sat down he looked shocked. I double checked and it said we had won £2,400. 'We thought we could take care of the funeral with no worries about the expense.' The Scot added that she feared something wasn't right when she saw there were as many as 1,000 winners and the jackpost was still available. But she and her partner continued to play and their fears were even soothed by the bingo chat room host who told them to enjoy their winnings. She explained that she believed to have had a lucky streak, winning a pot worth £2,400 three times in a row but when it came to cashing the money, her account was frozen She said: 'I wasn't sure about it all but then the host said "enjoy your winnings" - they obviously didn't realise what was happening.' The 52-year-old woman said that some players were able to withdraw the money straight to their Santander bank accounts but others couldn't. She told the Daily Mail that since the shocking incident, Gala Bingo has frozen her and her partners accounts and even disabled her husband's chat room privileges. because of his complaining. As recompense, she said they had been given some money back in the form of vouchers but felt it wasn't enough. She said: 'My partner is angry and it's become all-consuming, especially at such a difficult time. this has just knocked him sideways. 'It's all been dealt with so badly, it wasn't right.' And the husband and wife weren't the only ones blindsided by the Gala Bingo glitch. Victoria Geer, 28, and a full time mother from Oxford confessed she was 'shocked and so disappointed' to be told by the gambling site that her winnings were in fact not hers at all. She explained that she believed to have had a lucky streak, winning a pot worth £2,400 three times in a row but when it came to cashing the money, her account was frozen. The mother-of0one said: 'I put in £15 at around 8pm and played the 1p Bingo but by 8.30pm I'd been roped in to run-up rewards but I didn't know what that was and then suddenly I got told I had won £2,400 three times in a row.' She said the company's decision to blame a glitch and refuse to pay out was 'very sneaky and crafty.' Ms Greer added that she had thought the prize money was real throughout because even the chat host congratulated her and told her to spend her winnings. The mother told the Daily Mail that she had hoped to spend the small fortune on things for her new baby boy and a holiday but revealed they were all now on hold. 'I was going to spend the money on my 18-week-old boy and get him some lovely things for Christmas and go away on holiday with my partner to Spain for a week in March. 'I wanted driving lessons and a test because I don't drive at the moment so I'm disappointed,' she said. The mother said that while she initially bought her daughter a pair of Crocs instead of a pair of 'cheap sandals from Primark' she was loathed to do any more shopping in case Gala Bingo decided to take her winnings from her bank account. Mother and daughter Susan, 64, and Beth, 31, said they couldn't believe it when they thought they had won almost £10,000 together. The pair said they had withdrawn as soon as they could after seeing the winning notification pop up on screen but their payment never made it to their account. 'We were playing and then Emily said she had won something and it turned out we had won £9,600 each and I just couldn't believe it,' Susan said. 'I was worried it wasn't legit and so I tried to withdraw it but after about four hours it said the payment was cancelled.' The 64-year-old, who recently suffered a stroke, said she thought the money would go some way to renovating her cottage to make it more accessible following the change in her health. 'I was going to spend my winnings on changes to my cottage to help now that I've had this stroke.' She added that she thought Gala bingo needed to be held accountable and said she wanted some recompense for the stress of the whole experience. Bethand Susan received one per cent of the money they thought they had won and a Gala Bingo voucher but have said it's not enough. 'Somebody has to pay for this and something has to be done. 'Why did no one flag the error? I was told I had won £2,4000 three times in a row - how did no one spot this mistake? 'And to only give people one per cent back - it's not enough, it doesn't cover the stress this has caused. We've only got £96 out of the £9,600 we thought we had. Beth had some better luck than her mother and managed to withdraw some of the money before the transaction could be cancelled, but it was just a small amount of the full total she believed she had won. She said: 'I managed to withdraw about £250 but now the rest in my account has been frozen and I can't withdraw it. Some people might have been able to withdraw thousands but we couldn't and we don't know. 'Now we've just been given a bingo bonus of £20 but has to be spent on Gala Bingo and within a week so we're tied in because it's not withdrawable.' She added that both she and her mother would not be returning. Beth said: 'I won't play again. I've vowed never to play again. It's ruined my trust.' But not everyone had such a difficult time and one Manchester resident, who wished to remain anonymous, was one of the lucky few who managed to cash in all her winnings. The woman was able to cash in £2,400 from Gala Bingo and has been spending the money on clothes and shoes for her eight-year-old daughter ahead of their caravan holiday. She explained that she didn't think there was anything odd about the win because she had previously managed to bag £1,500 from the site but withdrew the cash immediately to put towards her family holiday. She said: 'I was playing and realised I'd won at 7.44pm and withdrew the money to my bank account at 7.46pm and it was there within ten minutes. I didn't even think there was anything wrong or it was a glitch because I've won a few times before and once won £1,500.' She added she thought her success was down to her speed and said she assumes she was one of the first to cash in her prize. The Bingo player added that she was also led to believe her success was nothing out of the ordinary because she received an official email from the company warning her to consider what to do with such a large sum and signposting gambling support. But the Manchester mother confessed she has since been wracked with guilt knowing that not everyone was as lucky as her. She told the Daily Mail: 'I feel so awkward and guilty - people are talking about suing them and saying they are owed money but I don't know. 'I can't sleep - I didn't get to sleep until 4.30am on Monday and it's put me off spending the money. ' The mother said that while she initially bought her daughter a pair of Crocs instead of a pair of 'cheap sandals from Primark' she was loathed to do any more shopping in case Gala Bingo decided to take her winnings from her bank account. 'I went to the Old Trafford Centre but I couldn't buy anything, I'm scared that if I spend it and they ask for it back - I can't have that kind of debt. 'I'm just trying to buy sensibly for my daughter for the holidays.' The Daily Mail has contacted Gala Bingo for comment.

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