My Wife is Pregnant, But I Want a Divorce Because We Have Different Values
Dear Troubleshooter:
I'm a male company employee in my 30s. I've been married for three years, and my wife is six months pregnant. I'm thinking about getting a divorce because we don't share the same values.
My wife thinks that I should pay for all the household expenses as the husband, but I think that she should also help since we both work.
I didn't like her idea but respected her opinion for the time being. I was optimistic and thought things would change once we have a baby.
When we went to our favorite slightly high-end restaurant the other day, I told her that we won't be able to eat here as often once the baby is born. But my wife looked confused.
She said she had no intention of changing her standard of living after giving birth and that I should continue to pay for all the expenses. I was speechless.
My wife doesn't like to talk about things, so we can't reach some kind of compromise. Our child will be born soon, but I'm feeling more anxious than excited.
I'm feeling more strongly that I want to get a divorce to make things easier. What should I do?
J, Tokyo
Dear Mr. J:
It's not just that you feel as if you don't share the same values, but you're also no longer in love with her, so you're considering getting a divorce.
In general, divorce is possible in Western countries if one party wants one. This means that couples need to work to find a compromise by having discussions, so they won't be hated by the other party.
However, in Japan, unless someone cheats or there is domestic violence, divorce is rarely granted if only one party wants one. I don't think your wife will agree to a divorce, even if neither of you care for each other, as you're necessary for her to maintain her lifestyle.
The only way to get away from the situation is if you play the bad guy. You could get a divorce by separating and going through mediation or court procedures on the grounds that you two have different values.
However, this process will take time, and people might view you differently. You might also experience financial hardship. You could choose this option if you don't mind the negatives.
Why don't you try and see your marriage as a partnership to raise a child? Try to manage the family finances without your wife by telling her it is for the sake of your child.
You can raise your child while expressing your opinions, even if you cannot discuss things with your wife. I'm not sure if your marriage will continue, but you can consider this time as a period of self-growth.
Masahiro Yamada, university professor
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
05-08-2025
Eight Decades On: Praying for Peace at Hiroshima's Bomb Memorials
Guideto Japan On August 6, 1945, Hiroshima became the first city to experience an atomic weapon attack. Eighty years on, the city is home to a World Heritage site and museum displays that send a warning to future generations about the threat of war in the nuclear age. Still Standing: The A-Bomb Dome The A-Bomb Dome, on the north side of Hiroshima's Peace Memorial Park, is one of the few structures left standing near the hypocenter of the August 6, 1945, atomic bomb blast that leveled the city. The dome and the rest of the park are regular stops on the itineraries of field trips taken by Japanese schools across the nation. Since 1996, when it was inscribed as a UNESCO World Heritage site, the A-Bomb Dome has also been a key destination for foreign visitors to western Japan. The A-Bomb Dome viewed across the Motoyasu River. The Orizuru Tower, seen in the background, offers an observation space on its upper floors. (© Much of the structure's brick facade and the copper plating on the dome are gone, leaving the underlying structure plain to see. (© Originally built in 1915 as the Hiroshima Prefectural Commercial Exhibition Hall, the modern-looking domed structure was designed by the Czech architect Jan Letzel. The hypocenter of the blast, the point directly below where the Little Boy atomic bomb went off just under 600 meters above ground, lies only 160 meters or so to the southeast. Visitors flock to the site year-round, rain or shine. (© During the years immediately following the war, memories of the more than 140,000 lives lost here were still fresh, and there were frequent calls to tear down the old exhibition hall as a memory of the painful past. In the 1960s, though, as the nuclear arms race between East and West heated up, a consciousness grew of the importance of the structure as a symbolic message to the world about the threat of these new weapons. A movement to preserve the dome gained momentum, and work began on reinforcement to keep the framework from collapsing. A memorial cenotaph erected on the east side of the dome. (© The remnants of a fountain on the lawn to the south of the structure, a space that was once the exhibition hall's Western-style garden. (© Today the A-Bomb Dome is not structurally safe enough to allow visitors inside, but views of the interior can be had from the walkway on the west side, along the river. The lush greenery of the surrounding lawns and trees contrasts sharply with the bruised remnants of the building, serving as yet another reminder of the destruction of that day in 1945. The dome illuminated after dark. (© Rubble lies where it fell in the building's interior. (© Museum Exhibits Drive the Message Home In the south of the park lies the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum. For 70 years, ever since its opening in 1955, it has shared messages on the horror of war and nuclear weapons through its exhibits of photos and memorabilia of the victims of the blast. The two main museum structures are connected to the International Conference Center Hiroshima. (© Looking north from the museum toward the Cenotaph for the A-Bomb Victims and the dome beyond. (© Recent years have seen a resurgence in interest in the Hiroshima site, accompanying the Group of Seven summit that took place in the city in 2023 and the awarding of the 2024 Nobel Peace Prize to Nihon Hidankyō, the Japan Confederation of A- and H-Bomb Sufferers Organizations. During fiscal 2024 (April 2024 through March 2025) total visitors to the museum topped 2.26 million, with around a third, or 720,000, coming from abroad—both all-time records. The Introductory Exhibit space shows how the blast impacted the city. (© A new permanent exhibit displays artifacts related to non-Japanese victims of the bombing. (© A major renewal of the museum in 2019 brought fresh angles to its collection and exhibit spaces. The focus is now on stories of the individuals who fell victim to the bomb that day, without respect to their nationality or cultural background, in an effort to paint a full, more human picture of the history of the event. Visitors view personal belongings of people in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945: a charred school uniform, a clock stopped precisely at 8:15 am, when the blast went off, and much more, all accompanied by photos and stories of the people involved. The tales of those who did not die in an instant are also moving, such as that of a woman who died some years later of disease related to the radiation released by the bomb. The exhibits tell personal tales, complete with names, photos, and episodes from the lives of those lost. (© Exhibit information is available in languages including English, Chinese, and Korean, and Japanese sign language is added to much of the video content. (© The Introductory Exhibit space in the museum's east wing launched in 2017, ahead of the full-scale renewal. It includes a massive diorama of Hiroshima as it stood up through the summer of 1945, overlaid with a computer-graphic display of the impact of the blast. Additional museum sections focus on the dangers of nuclear weapons and the history of the city of Hiroshima, from the wartime era up through the antinuclear movement of the present day. Touch-panel photographic displays and video material make for a gripping and highly accessible learning experience. Making their way through the exhibits, visitors can in a brief time experience the broad sweep from the charred earth of the end of the war through the city's rebirth to the present day. Through it all, though, the message remains clear: We must not let such a war happen again. The museum is an encapsulation of Hiroshima as a symbol of this desire for lasting peace. The museum route takes visitors from the Introductory Exhibit through an exploration of the blast's impact and the threat of nuclear weapons (above) and the history of Hiroshima. (© A tactile exhibit allows the sight-impaired to experience the Hiroshima Prefectural Commercial Exhibition Hall as it once stood (at right) and the A-Bomb Dome today. (© Other Sites in the Peace Memorial Park In the plaza to the north of the museum lies the arch-shaped Cenotaph for the A-Bomb Victims. Designed by the celebrated architect Tange Kenzō, along with the museum itself, this monument houses a chest containing the names of all who perished due to the bomb, and is inscribed with the phrase: 'Let all the souls here rest in peace, for we shall not repeat the evil.' The cenotaph's stone chest beneath an arched roof was inspired by Japan's prehistoric haniwa pottery once used to decorate tombs. (© To the north of the cenotaph, with the dome in the background, burns the Flame for Peace, lit on August 1, 1964, and flickering eternally as a symbol of the hope for peace and a world free of nuclear arms. Just to the east of the flame stands the Hiroshima National Peace Memorial Hall for the Atomic Bomb Victims; still farther north is the Atomic Bomb Memorial Mound, containing some of the remains of some 70,000 unidentified victims of the blast. The park as a whole is a place for mourning and quiet reflection. The memorial hall houses video and written records of the experiences of people who lived through the bombing. (© Visitors' donations of origami cranes hang before the burial mound. (© The Peace Memorial Park occupies more than 120,000 square meters on the northern tip of a river island in the heart of Hiroshima. Once a bustling entertainment district home to around 4,400 people, today it houses the monuments and facilities described above, along with many more—monuments to children, students, Korean residents, soldiers, and others affected by the bombing among them. A leisurely walk around the park brings a deeper understanding of the many ways in which these people continue to tell their stories to this day. From left: the Clock Tower of Peace, which chimes at 8:15 each morning; the Children's Peace Monument, dedicated to young victims of the bombing and the radiation-related sickness that followed; and the Memorial Tower Dedicated to Mobilized Students, memorializing more than 6,000 who lost their lives. (© The Peace Memorial Park Rest House, built around the ruins of a structure destroyed in the bombing, exhibits its still-intact basement area and historical displays, as well as housing a café and gift shop. (© (Originally written in Japanese. Banner photo ©
Japan Today
27-07-2025
- Japan Today
Japanese pop star Ado wants to know if Americans actually eat one of Japan's favorite 'Western foods'
By Casey Baseel, SoraNews24 For several decades, beef teriyaki has been one of the most popular menu items at Japanese restaurants in the U.S. It's flavorful and hearty, and doesn't use any ingredients with tastes or textures that would startle the average American diner. What can be surprising for American beef teriyaki fans, though is when they come to Japan and find out that the dish doesn't really exist here. Sure, Japan has beef, and Japan has teriyaki, but the latter isn't used as a seasoning for the former in the sauce's country of origin. Of course, this sort of situation, where one country mistakenly thinks something is a staple food in another culture but it really isn't, isn't something that only happens in America. As a matter of fact, J-pop mega star Ado recently took to X to ask her followers if something that's widely seen by Japanese people as an archetypal example of yoshoku ('Western cuisine') is something that she'd be able to find in the U.S. To clarify, Ado isn't asking about hamburgers, as it's common knowledge that there are burger joints all across the U.S. Instead, she's talking about a patty made of ground meat, onion, egg, and breadcrumbs that's eaten with a knife and fork. A hamburger steak, as hamburg is also sometimes called, can be accompanied by rice or bread, but the bread is always a thick slice or a dinner roll served on the side, not a bun, and hamburger steak isn't eaten as a sandwich. ▼ A Japanese hamburger steak/hamburg Image: SoraNews24 Hamburger steak is extremely easy to find in Japan. Pretty much every casual chain diner like Denny's or Gusto has it on the menu, and even some beef bowl chains, like Matsuya, offer hamburger steak set meals. Then there are all the restaurants that specifically specialize in hamburger steak. But as many commenters quickly explained in their replies to Ado, hamburger steaks aren't nearly as big a thing in the U.S. as they are in Japan. 'I don't think I've ever [eaten] a hamburg steak outside of Japan…America doesn't have them super often.' 'There are some in Little Tokyo, although I don't remember exactly where,' 'I don't think I've seen them at a restaurant.' 'Some Japanese restaurants in major cities have them.' 'Only in Japanese Restaurants.' The closest analogy in American cuisine, others offered, is Salisbury steak. However, many pointed out that Salisbury steak isn't an exact match, as it's often covered in a gravy unlike any sauce used for hamburger steak in Japan, and sometimes topped with sliced mushrooms as well, or may have things like diced mushroom or bell pepper within the patty itself. One commenter boiled the differences down to 'We do have Salisbury steaks, which are smaller, and worse.' Others theorized that America's version of the hamburger steak is meatloaf, but that has a different texture and flavor, as it's baked while hamburger steak is flat-grilled, often being finished on a hot iron plate at the table as it's served. Some commenters also mentioned loco moco, the patty for which bears a strong resemblance to Japanese hamburger steak, but it's more of a local Hawaiian food than something you'll regularly find across America's other 49 states (and, incidentally, is said to have been originally popularized by a Japanese-American chef). Considering that Japan loves both hamburger streaks and hamburgers, and sees both as culinary imports, Ado might be surprised to find out that America's tastes are so overwhelmingly tipped towards hamburgers that a hamburg will be hard to find. As alluded to by a couple of commenters, though, in a case of food ideas ping-ponging back and forth between cultures, hamburger steaks are starting to establish fanbases among American restaurant-goers who see them as a kind of Japanese food, so maybe they'll actually become a more common part of the American diet in years to come, and maybe even Japan's hamburger steak sushi will one day catch on over on the other side of the Pacific. Source: X/@ado1024imokenp Read more stories from SoraNews24. -- Which Japanese conveyor belt sushi chain has the best hamburger steak sushi?【Taste test】 -- One Piece singer Ado announces partnership to bring her music to the U.S., rest of the world【Vid】 -- Our Japanese Reporter Eats Donut Burger in Search of 'Real' American Hamburger, 'I never want to eat that again' External Link © SoraNews24
SoraNews24
24-07-2025
- SoraNews24
Japanese pop star Ado wants to know if Americans actually eat one of Japan's favorite 'Western foods'
It sure seems like Americans would like it. For several decades, beef teriyaki has been one of the most popular menu items at Japanese restaurants in the U.S. It's flavorful and hearty, and doesn't use any ingredients with tastes or textures that would startle the average American diner. What can be surprising for American beef teriyaki fans, though is when they come to Japan and find out that the dish doesn't really exist here. Sure, Japan has beef, and Japan has teriyaki, but the latter isn't used as a seasoning for the former in the sauce's country of origin. Of course, this sort of situation, where one country mistakenly thinks something is a staple food in another culture but it really isn't, isn't something that only happens in America. As a matter of fact, J-pop mega star Ado recently took to Twitter to ask her followers if something that's widely seen by Japanese people as an archetypal example of yoshoku ('Western cuisine') is something that she'd be able to find in the U.S. Do they have 'hamburg' (hamburger steaks) in America? I'd like to try them. — Ado (@ado1024imokenp) July 23, 2025 To clarify, Ado isn't asking about hamburgers, as it's common knowledge that there are burger joints all across the U.S. Instead, she's talking about a patty made of ground meat, onion, egg, and breadcrumbs that's eaten with a knife and fork. A hamburger steak, as hamburg is also sometimes called, can be accompanied by rice or bread, but the bread is always a thick slice or a dinner roll served on the side, not a bun, and hamburger steak isn't eaten as a sandwich. ▼ A Japanese hamburger steak/hamburg Hamburger steak is extremely easy to find in Japan. Pretty much every casual chain diner like Denny's or Gusto has it on the menu, and even some beef bowl chains, like Matsuya, offer hamburger steak set meals. Then there are all the restaurants that specifically specialize in hamburger steak. But as many commenters quickly explained in their replies to Ado, hamburger steaks aren't nearly as big a thing in the U.S. as they are in Japan. 'I don't think I've ever [eaten] a hamburg steak outside of Japan…America doesn't have them super often.' 'There are some in Little Tokyo, although I don't remember exactly where,' 'I don't think I've seen them at a restaurant.' 'Some Japanese restaurants in major cities have them.' 'Only in Japanese Restaurants.' The closest analogy in American cuisine, others offered, is Salisbury steak. However, many pointed out that Salisbury steak isn't an exact match, as it's often covered in a gravy unlike any sauce used for hamburger steak in Japan, and sometimes topped with sliced mushrooms as well, or may have things like diced mushroom or bell pepper within the patty itself. One commenter boiled the differences down to 'We do have Salisbury steaks, which are smaller, and worse.' Others theorized that America's version of the hamburger steak is meatloaf, but that has a different texture and flavor, as it's baked while hamburger steak is flat-grilled, often being finished on a hot iron plate at the table as it's served. Some commenters also mentioned loco moco, the patty for which bears a strong resemblance to Japanese hamburger steak, but it's more of a local Hawaiian food than something you'll regularly find across America's other 49 states (and, incidentally, is said to have been originally popularized by a Japanese-American chef). Considering that Japan loves both hamburger streaks and hamburgers, and sees both as culinary imports, Ado might be surprised to find out that America's tastes are so overwhelmingly tipped towards hamburgers that a hamburg will be hard to find. As alluded to by a couple of commenters, though, in a case of food ideas ping-ponging back and forth between cultures, hamburger steaks are starting to establish fanbases among American restaurant-goers who see them as a kind of Japanese food, so maybe they'll actually become a more common part of the American diet in years to come, and maybe even Japan's hamburger steak sushi will one day catch on over on the other side of the Pacific. Source: Twitter/@ado1024imokenp Photos ©SoraNews24 ● Want to hear about SoraNews24's latest articles as soon as they're published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter! Follow Casey on Twitter as he continues to lament the closing of the Butchers hamburger steak restaurant in Jiyugaoka.
