I had steamy holiday sex on a sofa then flew home to my loyal boyfriend – flings are what girls' trips are for

The Irish Sun

2 days ago

Plus, The Sun's Dear Deidre team shares their response to Bridget's brazen cheating
NO REGRETS I had steamy holiday sex on a sofa then flew home to my loyal boyfriend – flings are what girls' trips are for
MUM-OF-TWO Bridget Zyka, 43, has spent the last two weeks in Ireland.
The most spontaneous thing she has done with her two favourite males during her two-week break is taking her sons, Mateo, four and Conor, two, to soft play.
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Bridget believes "if your other half goes on holiday without you, you can't be surprised if they're unfaithful".
Credit: Bridget Zyka
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Bridget admits to spending her 20s and 30s cheating on partners
Credit: Bridget Zyka
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But that wasn't the case when she was single two decades ago. Bridget admits that faithfulness and fidelity were two words she crossed out of her vocab whenever she was on holiday.
She says: 'There is something about boarding a flight and leaving work and your everyday world behind that means you get a free sex pass.
"I was travelling round the world in my late twenties when I ended up in New Zealand.
'Before long I found myself loved up and in a long-term relationship with a Kiwi bloke.
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'We'd been together for a year when this guy I'd had a flat share with in Canada got in touch and said he would be in Australia.
'The weather was crap in New Zealand at the time, so I went to meet this certain platonic mate on the Gold Coast in Oz.
'I also knew he fancied me but nothing had ever happened – before now.
'I booked a flight for a weekend and we arranged to meet up on one of the nights.
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'We went for a drink and one thing led to another and I ended up back at his apartment. I'd bought a bottle of something strong at duty free and we started doing shots.
'It was a spur of the moment thing but we ended up having sex on the sofa.
Spotting the signs your partner is cheating
'Would it have happened after a day in the office when I was back in London and working in IT? Of course not.'
Bridget, today a body positivity coach, is happily married to Aldo, 39, a builder and they live in Hertfordshire. The couple met when they were both single in Covent Garden. Bridget, then 36, confesses such was the sexual attraction between them that they slept together on the first night.
Nine years on Bridget reckons they're still 'very loved up' as a couple and faithfulness is the bedrock of their marriage. A fair cry from her younger self.
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'When I woke up with my 'platonic' friend I was shocked with myself the next morning. I'm not someone who cheats and I don't have one-night stands either. But the sex was incredible. We were so compatible - it was like fireworks going off.
'When I flew back and saw my boyfriend waiting for me at the airport I did feel a bit guilty.
'But there was no way I was going to tell him. I can see now it was just a 'meh' relationship. I did end things with him not that long after.
'I'd like to say it was out of character for me but back then it wasn't.
Cheating is what girly holidays were invented for! [And] if your other half goes on holiday without you, you can't be surprised if they're unfaithful.
Bridget
'When you're single and have zero responsibilities you can do what you want – and I did.
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'I have absolutely no regrets about being unfaithful while on holidays throughout my 20s and early 30s.
'If us women are honest with ourselves it is a rite of passage for all of us.
'I made sure I did everything I wanted to do before I settled down and left no sexual stone unturned.'
Indeed, Bridget worked hard, played hard and travelled hard in her 20s and early 30s. She reckons she cheated on at least three boyfriends while on holiday during that time.
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Bridget with her husband Aldo, who she has never cheated on
Credit: Bridget Zyka
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'Look, if you are fully committed to your soulmate, then it's never going to happen. But if the relationship isn't strong then of course the lethal ingredients of distance, sunshine and being in a different country means any temptation that comes your way is going to test even the most committed couple.
'You're coming face to face with gorgeous men on beaches and in bars; they often don't have many clothes on. Unless you are rock solid, then the odds of sex with someone who isn't your other half are very likely.
"It's what girly holidays were invented for," she admits.
'It's why I cheated on another boyfriend while I went interrailing around Europe with a girlfriend.
'You get to reinvent yourself and do things you wouldn't do.
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'Loads of friends have had flings, too. If your other half goes on holiday without you, you can't be surprised if they're unfaithful."
Bridget says her cheating past is NOT something she discusses with her husband and she wasn't bothered if anyone posted about her antics online.
'I was too busy having fun to worry about whether anyone was taking sly pictures of me with someone's arm around me. I definitely wasn't stalking anyone's posts on social media. Life was – and still is – too short to worry about what other people say about me.'
The Sun's Sex and Relationship Expert
Dear Deidre's advice
By Sally Land, The Sun's Sex and Relationship Expert
There are plenty of reasons why people cheat and being in an unfulfilling relationship, feeling limited by our regular lives, having low self-esteem and simply not feeling ready for real commitment are likely the most relevant here.
And while it's true that plenty of young people stray when they go on holiday, the same can also be true for older men and women also.
Cheating on a girls' or boys' holiday is certainly not a given.
It's true that long distance relationships are challenging to maintain and no matter how strong the relationship they often end when one partner meets someone who is geographically closer.
But a holiday or mini-break isn't the same, if you're giving into temptation every time you pack your bags, you need to ask yourself if you're in the right relationship.
Needing constant attention and being hooked on the thrill of the chase is another driver. If this sounds familiar, you'd do well to work on your own self-esteem and sense of security, otherwise this could develop into a lifelong pattern.
And most people who have betrayed a partner while on a break do feel guilty.
Often it's through behaving in a way that on reflection, we are uncomfortable with, that we learn about who we want to be and what our values are.
For many it's only when we meet someone we truly love that all ideas of an exciting fling disappear - because the thought of jeopardising such a precious relationship is terrifying.
If you'd like a second opinion email me and my team of counsellors for free and personalised advice: [e-mail]
Having waved goodbye to her hedonistic past, Bridget reckons that she will give the talk to her sons when they're old enough to have a relationship and start travelling independently.
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'I will absolutely warn them to be careful and not take risks. I gulp at a lot of the silly things I did. You try to be responsible but it all goes out the window when the plane takes off.
'I will warn them about contraception being a man's responsibility, too. The last thing I want is for them to become a father in their late teens. And at the very least, I will tell them, 'If you can't be good, be careful.'"