Is texting ‘k' hurting your relationships? Here's the truth about those abbreviated chats

Toronto Star

5 days ago

When Sam Maglio, a marketing and psychology professor at the University of Toronto, began his research into abbreviations in texting, he thought they might be a good thing. They could signal a close relationship — a kind of shorthand between friends — and indicate social connection and comfort.
His research proved him wrong.
Together with co-authors David Fang and Yiran Zhang, Maglio analyzed conversations from the dating app Tinder, the text-based social platform Discord and participants' own conversations, and also conducted a slew of other studies. In test after test, Magio found using abbreviations to be 'surprisingly bad for the relationship.'
His research, published last year, showed texts with abbreviations were seen as less sincere and effortful, and are less likely to get a response.
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A viral claim that 'K' is the worst possible text might not be far from the truth. Research shows texts with abbreviations are seen as less sincere and effortful.
https://www.thestar.com/life/message-left-unread-it-might-be-because-you-used-an-abbreviation/article_11b16ef1-d677-4f12-9ee2-77b0fe9462b6.html
'The more you abbreviate,' Magio said, 'the worse you look — or the lazier you look — in the eyes of others.'
As so much of our communication is wrapped up in texting and online messaging, Magio's research could be part of a road map to making more meaningful digital connections. Here's how abbreviations are received — and how to make your texts more sincere.
How bad are abbreviations, really?
The University of Toronto research team used eight different studies to evaluate the impact abbreviations have, including field studies and tightly-controlled lab studies.
In one, the researchers analyzed conversations from 686 users on Tinder. They found that more abbreviations in a conversation correlated with conversations ending sooner. In another study, the researchers messaged nearly 1,900 Discord users at random from an anime community and asked for recommendations on what to watch. If the request had abbreviations, it was less likely to get a response.
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The researchers found similar results in pre-existing relationships, too. They asked participants to pull up a recent text conversation on their phone. If it had abbreviations, participants reported feeling the conversation was less sincere and effortful.
'Even with those existing relationships, if they pull it up and it's got abbreviations, it's bad for the relationship,' Maglio said.
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Why are abbreviations negatively received?
While texting as a form of communication is built on short messages sent between other activities, relying on abbreviations is 'often not valued from the receiver perspective,' according to Anabel Quan-Haase, a sociologist at Western University who researches digital communication.
'If you are texting someone and expect a longer response that shows care for the relationship,' Quan-Haase wrote in an email, 'then receiving a short reply that contains abbreviations feels like it is insincere and less meaningful.'
Quan-Haase suggested the tone of texting can be misinterpreted because it lacks the unspoken cues of other forms of communication, like tone of voice, facial expressions and body movement.
'Without them, it is sometimes difficult to 'read' the tone or the intention of the sender,' she said.
Why do people claim 'K' is the worst abbreviation?
Recently, a claim that 'K' is the worst-received abbreviation when texting went viral, and it 'makes perfect sense' to Maglio. While he didn't research which abbreviations are worse than others, he said the ease of texting 'K' — just a single keystroke — could make it come across as 'the lowest you can go on an abbreviation.'
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'K' has also taken on an implicit meaning, more than simply just an abbreviation of OK, Quan-Haase said. Alongside the texts 'k.' (with a period) and 'OK,' 'K' signals 'various degrees of annoyance or even aggression,' Quan-Haase explained.
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'It basically adds a layer of communication, what we call connotative communication, to the conversation,' she said. 'It is almost like tone of voice in face-to-face communication.'
What should you do instead?
The lesson, Maglio said, is that language sends 'very powerful, non-stop signals,' whether intentionally or not. It's not that you should never use abbreviations, Maglio explained — it's just that you should understand how it might be received.
'We speak, we write, we communicate without giving it much thought,' Maglio said.
Since completing the research, Maglio has started using voice memos more often, because they appear more effortful and sincere than regular texts.
Quan-Haase said video and phone calls produce the most meaningful digital connections, but research shows strong ties rely on 'micro communications.'
'It is ultimately about the bundle of text messages, voice memos, video calls and phone calls that help build strong connections over time,' Quan-Haase said. 'It is not a single message.'