‘Not having kids is the best financial/mental health decision anyone can take' — Man says ‘parenthood isn't compulsory' just because everyone does it

Independent Singapore

3 days ago

SINGAPORE: In a world where baby showers are Instagram spectacles and parenthood is still treated like the 'next step' after marriage, one man has decided to lob a verbal grenade into the societal crib.
His stance is that the single best move for anyone's financial stability — and mental peace — is not to have children at all. 'This might sound a bit controversial, but I said what I said,' began the 31-year-old bachelor, whose now-viral Reddit post has been sparking debates across dining tables and WhatsApp groups.
The man argued that most couples never truly decide whether to have kids, only when. 'People think it is just the next 'expected' step after marriage, like getting into 8th class after finishing 7th class,' he wrote. 'There is no planning or thinking about it.'
Not having kids is the best financial/mental health decision anyone can take.
byu/Own-Mud5321 inpersonalfinanceindia
While Singapore's Ministry of Manpower may not keep official tallies on the true cost of raising a child, any parent knows the wallet drain. From preschool fees that rival university tuition, to enrichment classes that run every weekend, to the endless 'Mummy, I want…' requests in toy aisles — it all adds up. The real cost of mini-me
The man's point is that these costs are wildly underestimated and can undo years of hard-earned savings. 'From decent education to medical, food, clothing, and other extracurricular expenses, raising a child comfortably easily runs into the millions over 18–20 years. That's assuming everything goes smoothly. Think of all the things you could do with that money if [you had] no kids!'
And it's not just money. 'Why would anyone want to choose this lifestyle? Today is a weekend, and I see parents not sleeping in, but driving their children around to some dance/karate/swimming, etc., classes. My married friends are discussing about schools, [it's] joining dates, books, and complaining about high fees. Feels like we just finished our own school/college days, and I can't imagine how anyone [could] re-live it all over again.'
Then there's the non-stop child medical appointments, continuous clothing needs, and the endless crying, screaming, and tantrums. He even wondered aloud how many parents secretly regret having children, even if they can't or won't admit it. Parenthood isn't compulsory
The man, however, stressed that this wasn't an anti-parent tirade. 'My intention is not to look down on parenthood, but just a reminder for the singles/non-parent couples out there that parenthood isn't compulsory. It's okay to opt out and say, 'That life is not for me.''
He added that the only valid reason to have kids is a genuine nurturing instinct, not societal pressure, not as a retirement plan, and certainly not because it's what everyone does or 'it is expected from parents'. Not everyone agrees
In a report by The Economic Times (ET), financial advisor Abhishek Kumar sees things differently:
'Bringing a child to this world is an emotional decision,' he told ET, adding that it's also about legacy. 'You are lending your name and investing time, money, and other resources to make this child capable enough to survive in this world. This is a lifestyle choice… one which is made thinking about the emotional aspect of life — a nice cozy family, a beautiful home, and legacy.' See also What's the best thing about Singapore? — "Nothing" says SG woman
Kumar also warned that if everyone embraced a 'consumption-only' lifestyle, society would collapse. 'If there are no people left, then the economy would collapse slowly and then suddenly,' he said. Voices from both sides
The Reddit thread then quickly turned into a digital town hall.
One commenter observed that more people are choosing to remain child-free because 'life's getting expensive, work takes up most of the time, and there's hardly any support system.'
Another — a mother of two — admitted that not having kids was a 'perfectly valid and understandable choice' and that many people have children simply because they're conformists.
Still, others argued that life can't be reduced to a financial balance sheet. 'You are not a bank account… Your shares won't love you unconditionally, and you won't be willing to give your life for your mutual funds,' one person quipped. The middle ground
Some believe the debate is less about whether to have children and more about being intentional if you do. As one interviewee told ET, 'Having a kid can be very tiring, but is rewarding at the same time. Challenges and hardships will come without a kid also, so at the end it's a lifestyle choice and choosing the hardship we are comfortable with.'
Another pointed out the irreversibility of time: 'Young people chasing growth and money might find they've crossed the age barrier for having a kid by the time they're ready. The problem with money is that there is never enough… Hence, I am of the thought that one should have a balanced approach — have a family, kids, and earn enough money to maintain the family and leave behind an inheritance.' Enter the anti-natalists
Nevertheless, the man who posted his views on not having kids also echoes those of the anti-natalist movement, a growing global community that believes bringing new life into the world is not a moral obligation, and in some cases, is ethically questionable.
Anti-natalists argue that life inevitably involves suffering, and it's unfair to impose that on a child without their consent (which the child can't give beforehand). They also point to environmental concerns, saying fewer births could mean less strain on the planet's resources.
Financially, they highlight the massive opportunity costs of child-rearing. That money, they argue, could be channelled into personal growth, charitable causes, adopting existing orphan children, or building a more sustainable future without increasing the population burden. The bottom line
This debate may not be settled over a single Reddit thread or a coffee shop chat, as it touches many aspects, including identity, values, economics, and even national demographics.
But whether you're firmly in the 'No Kids, No Cry' camp or proudly waving the parenthood flag, the underlying message is clear: Don't let tradition, pressure, or Instagram dictate your life.
Because in the end, whether you invest your time and money in a child, a business, a passion project, or just your own peace of mind, it's still your life to live, not someone else's.