Actor, author, Harvard grad. Hill Harper is a Renaissance man. His biggest role: Single dad.

Yahoo

3 days ago

You probably know actor Hill Harper from his roles on CSI: NY and The Good Doctor. He's also an activist, author and entrepreneur. But of all Harper's accomplishments, his greatest pride is raising his son, Pierce, whom he adopted as a single dad nine years ago.
'I just want to make my son proud to be honest,' Harper tells Yahoo Life. 'I want him to be proud of me. I want him to be proud that he's a Harper. I want him to be proud that he's my son.'
While Harper had earned three Ivy League degrees and authored a shelf of inspirational books by the time he became a dad at 49, he had never changed a diaper. He now talks expertly about reward jars and his 'old-school' approach to screen time, and rattles off Pierce's list of extracurriculars, from sports to learning Mandarin.
'As a single parent, you just have to figure it out and do the best you can and provide as much love and support as possible,' Harper says.
You also have to lean on others when needed. 'There's a lot of people that are positive influences in his life that help me be a better parent,' he says.
Harper says the word 'energized' best describes his mini-me.
'Right now, it's go, go, go,' he says of Pierce. 'I celebrate that because I really feel that motor or skill is going to serve him later in life' — even though 'it may not serve very well in a third-grade classroom when they want you to sit down and be quiet.'
He helps channel Pierce's big energy into 'active' activities together, from playing catch to shooting hoops. Reading and journal-writing are also big at home.
'I'm just not a huge fan of electronics, so trying to navigate that is a tough one as a parent these days,' the actor says. 'I try not to do anything that reinforces video games. … I have pretty much a no-screen-time policy unless you earn it. He has the rest of his life to be in front of screens and talk to robots and AI.'
Harper, who limits screen time to two hours a week max, jokes, 'He may be in therapy because of it later in life: 'My dad didn't let me play enough video games, so I wasn't able to talk to my friends online [and] in Roblox and Minecraft.''
Harper, 59, credits his age with helping him keep his cool. 'The plus of being an older parent is perspective,' he notes.
'I don't get that stressed out about him and his behavior,' he says. 'My younger version of myself would have been much more like: There's a right way and the wrong way, and you've got to do it this way. As you get older, you're like [shrugs]: There's different ways to do it.'
Besides, 'If you're healthy, that's almost 90% of everything,' says Harper, who beat thyroid cancer after a 2010 diagnosis. 'If you're living pain-free, everything else is almost like you're playing with house money. When I was younger, I never thought that way. … So [I'm] just trying to keep my son healthy and mentally healthy and positive.'
The downside to being an older parent? Pierce 'can almost, at 9, beat me in a race, which is just embarrassing.'
Early on, Harper had some awkward moments being the single dad planning playdates with mostly moms, the typical gatekeepers of child activities. That's shifted.
'When [the kids are] younger, before more formal athletic stuff happens, it's really difficult being a single dad because you don't fit into the mom groups,' Harper says. 'But now that [Pierce is] old enough to do Little League or flag football or organized basketball, it's gotten much easier because the dads are bringing their kids. You're exchanging information with the parents of the [whole] team. … It's gotten much better.'
Yet he's still reminded how mom-centric the world is, like when Pierce's friends ask about his family dynamic. 'A lot of the questioning is motivated by the kids he's around: 'Where's your mom?' 'How come I never see your mom?' 'Do you know who your mom is?''
Harper shares that while Pierce hasn't yet met his biological mom, 'it's open adoption, so I think that he'll choose to at some point. But that's when he chooses to, and most people think it's sometime in their teens when that's best to happen.'
As his son's one and only, Harper says his role is 'trying to just be the best dad I can be — being as loving as I can, being as supportive as I can. I'll never make up for that lack of female presence and real maternal love that he hasn't received. But a lot of kids these days are being raised by single parents of different genders.'
Harper is the first to tell you that he doesn't do it alone. He has a dynamic support system he's built in their home state of Michigan, where Harper made a bid for the open U.S. Senate seat last year. It starts with his 87-year-old mother, Dr. Marilyn Hill Harper, a trailblazer in medicine, who resides with them and their family dog, Spice. It also includes Pierce's nanny, teachers, coaches, tutors and their friends.
'As a single father, I think that you learn that you're enough in many ways, but you're also not enough,' he says. 'Meaning your capacity to support, love, protect and hopefully nurture your child is there. … But also you need other people.'