Woman Wants Daughter to Give Her 'the Grandmother Experience' with New Baby
A new mom on Reddit is seeking advice after her mother accused her of not giving the proper "grandmother experience"
The woman writes that she didn't know her mother would see it as "her big life event"
The Reddit user's mother has set up a nursery at her own home for the baby and gets mad if OP won't give her alone time with the babyA woman says her mom is accusing her of not giving her the proper "grandmother experience" by not allowing her enough time with the woman's new baby.
In a post shared on an anonymous Reddit thread, the 27-year-old woman writes that she had her first baby six months ago and her mom has been "over the top obsessed with being a grandmother."
"I expected her to be excited, but I didn't realize she saw this as her big life event," she writes.
The change happened well before the woman's son was born, she writes, when her mom "started acting like she was gearing up to raise him alongside me."
"She set up a full nursery at her house, kept talking about all the weekends he'd be spending with her, and told me she planned to be there for all the firsts. It was weird, but I brushed it off as excitement," she continues.
When the child was born, "it got worse. She constantly criticizes everything I do. If I let him nap in my arms, I'm spoiling him, if I don't bring him over enough, I'm keeping him from her. She's started showing up unannounced, and if I don't let her take the baby alone, she acts hurt, like I don't trust her."
The final straw, the woman adds, took place at a recent family gathering.
"I was holding my son when she suddenly reached for him and tried to take him out of my arms, saying I needed a break. I pulled back and told her, 'I don't need a break, Mom. I've got it.' She looked stunned and barely spoke to me for the rest of the night," she writes.
She continues: "Later, she sent me this long message about how I'm denying her the grandmother experience and treating her like a stranger. Now my dad and siblings are saying I should let her be more involved because she just loves him so much."
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She ends the post with a question for fellow Reddit users, writing: "I don't want to shut her out, but I also don't want to feel like I have to share my baby and being constantly criticized. Am I being too harsh?"
Other Reddit users are arguing that the woman's mom has an "idea" of what a grandmother is supposed to be – and simply won't settle for less.
"She has this imaginary vision of what being a grandma is and she will take anything from you to get it. Listen to your internal voice, and tell her no," writes one.
Echoes another: "Listen to that instinct you have, it's weird. You are the mom, that's actually more important than whatever she thinks a grandmotherly role is."
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