Is your boss as stupid as this fella?
Though, to be fair and balanced, the following tale might be the result of a slip of the tongue, rather than proof of full-blown eejitery, requiring medical attention.
Debbie McCall once had a boss who had mislaid an important file (though he, of course, blamed one of his minions).
This chap forced everyone in the office to spend the afternoon searching for the vanished document, though he warned that it wouldn't be an easy task.
Or as he put it: 'It's going to be like finding hay in a needle-stack.'
Talking balls, again
Tennis fan Eddy Cavin is listing the clichés associated with Wimbledon.
Here are a few more…
There are always shots of the crowd at Henman Hill. (But does anyone even remember who this guy Hill was?)
Photos of leading players with their husband / wife / partner, or someone else's husband / wife / partner must be captioned: 'Love Match.'
Material witness
We're discussing this week's Royal Garden Party at Holyrood Palace.
Yesterday we mentioned that the ladies in attendance were dressed in Edwardian-style finery.
However, one of our spies at the event informs us that 99 percent of the women were, indeed, dressed in the quaint fashions of yesteryear, though one lady stood out from the pack, for she wore a bright orange jumpsuit…. or perhaps it was a pyjama onesie.
And no hat on head, white trainers on feet.
'Scandalous!' gasps our witness to this desecration of all that is holy. 'She couldn't have looked more out of place if she'd brought a skateboard.'
Write off
IN the days when good penmanship was coveted, a colleague of reader Martha Clarke glanced at something she had written.
'Your writing is impeccable,' said this chap.
Martha couldn't help beaming with pride, until the colleague corrected himself.
'Sorry,' he said, 'I meant to say impenetrable.'
Count on him
A barista in a Glasgow café was overheard, by reader Sam Ross, announcing to a colleague: 'I'm good at maths. I can do 13 plus 1.'
'Though he never actually proved his genius by revealing the answer,' notes our sceptical correspondent.
Gotcha!
Hunting expert Colin Mackie notes: 'Capturing Bigfoot would be no small feat.'
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mail
5 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Glamorous former tennis star makes rare public appearance after remarkable recovery from health scare
She is one of the most glamorous athletes to have graced the tennis court, reaching a career-high single ranking of world No 8 and being voted the world's sexiest woman. But this week the former tennis icon was in full mom-mode as she stepped out with her brood just months after sparking fears. Earlier this year, Anna Kournikova left her fans concerned when she was spotted in a wheelchair wearing a protective boot during a rare public appearance. Yet, eight months later, there appeared to be nothing holding the sports star turned model back as she stepped out with her children in Miami Beach - without a wheelchair or a boot. In photos exclusive to the Daily Mail, the 44-year-old was captured taking her three children - twins Lucy and Nicholas, seven, and five-year-old Mary - to martial arts class. The mother-of-three's foot appeared to be in good shape as she guided her brood across the road and into the gym in the south Florida island city. Kournikova kept it casual in a white hoodie, black bike shorts and Nike sneakers, scraping her hair into a black scrunchie atop her head. Her children, meanwhile, appeared well-equipped for their karate class, carrying packed backpacks, while her eldest daughter Lucy clutched a giant fluffy teddy bear. The Russian, who retired from tennis in 2003, shares the trio of youngsters with Spanish singer and longtime partner, Enrique Iglesias. The couple, who met on the set of the hitmaker's music video for his 2001 single 'Escape,' have kept a low profile in recent years. While the 50-year-old Iglesias has been performing to his adoring fans on tour, tennis fans are only granted rare glimpses of Kournikova. But back in January, she was spotted in the wheelchair while out with loved ones at Bal Harbour, a luxurious shopping center in Miami. Kournikova was pictured wearing an orthopedic boot on her foot, suggesting she had suffered a recent injury scare but she appeared to have a clear bill of health as she surfaced out-and-about in the SoFlo neighborhood this week. Iglesias has lived in the Miami area since the late 1990s with Kournikova joining the heartthrob after the couple shacked up. And the 'Hero' singer added to their property portfolio earlier this year, purchasing another property in Bay Point, a gated community located in Miami Beach. Iglesias reportedly splashed out $6.5 million on a 'sprawling mid century' home, built in 1957, on the same block where the under the radar couple reside, Sabal Palm Road, according to the Miami Herald. The five-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bathroom house is nestled in one of Miami's most sought-after communities as Kournikova and Iglesias continue to raise their children. Kournikova called time on her tennis career back in May 2003 after winning 16 career doubles titles. She reached world No 1 in doubles in November 1999, a few months after winning the Australian Open alongside partner Martina Hingis. In singles, Kournikova reached the semifinals at Wimbledon in 1997, becoming only the second woman in the open era to make it to the last four in her SW19 debut. She lost to eventual champion Hingis. Kournikova was then a quarterfinalist at the 2001 Australian Open, before being forced into an early retirement at just 21 years old following a series of injuries, mainly back problems. Kournikova also enjoyed the spotlight away from the court, garnering fame as a model. In 2002, she was voted the world's sexiest woman, beating the likes of Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez, and was also acknowledged as the sexiest female tennis player of all time in 2010. The couple met on the set of the Spanish singer's music video for his hit 'Escape' in 2001 It was through her off-court ventures that she met Iglesias, the son of Spanish singer and former soccer star Julio Iglesias. The greatest mystery surrounding their relationship is if the couple have tied the knot or not. Iglesias previously insisted he wasn't concerned about getting married but he has also referred to Kournikova as 'my wife.' When questioned about referring to Anna as his 'wife' in 2012, he clarified: 'It was just meant to be sweet in the moment. I honestly didn't mean to confuse people. I thought it'd be easier for the audience to understand than if I said 'my girl.' 'I've never really thought marriage would make a difference. Maybe it's because I come from divorced parents, but I don't think you love someone more because of a piece of paper. 'And nowadays, it's not taboo to have kids and not be married. What makes a difference is that you're a good parent, period.'
Daily Mail
5 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Giggling Emma Raducanu and Carlos Alcaraz show how much they enjoy each other's company with plenty of chemistry in US Open mixed doubles defeat, writes MATTHEW LAMBWELL
After two months of excitement and hysterical speculation it was all over in 51 minutes. The team of Emma Raducanu and Carlos Alcaraz - an alliance with the power to turn the tennis public into a gaggle of giggling, gossiping teenagers - were bumped out in the first round of the US Open's mixed doubles fandango. It was fellow Brit Jack Draper who did the bumping, alongside American partner Jessica Pegula - a team who absolutely lived up to their billing as the No1 seeds. On the first point of the match, Raducanu made a total hash of a volley off a Draper return. Then Draper whipped a forehand past Raducanu to secure a break on the Alcaraz serve. If they had a poor start it was hardly surprising: Alcaraz was busy winning the Cincinnati title on Monday night and only landed in New York via private jet at 1am, before taking to the court again at 4pm. But they grew into it and produced some sparkling rallies - and more chemistry than an episode of Breaking Bad. They shared a warm hug after the match, an embrace which the Sky Sports cameras somehow contrived to miss Emma Raducanu and Carlos Alcaraz were beaten in straight sets by the number one seed at the US Open The speculation about romantic involvement has been baseless and intrusive but there is no doubt these two are good friends who enjoy each other's company. As they walked out, Raducanu whispered something in Alcaraz's ear and both giggled away. On-court chemistry is extremely important in doubles (several of the pairs in action looked and played as if they had never set eyes on one another) and these two both play best while wearing a smile. Raducanu, in particular, beamed after pretty much every point - especially in the fifth game of the match when Alcaraz sent down four big serves and Raducanu finished off each with a volley. As Raducanu held serve in the first game of the second set after a lovely rally, she raised her fist to the skies and a beaming Alcaraz waggled his finger in her direction. The rally of the match - and the whole day - was when Raducanu and Draper waged a battle of Britain, ending with Draper hitting a lovely angled pass. Raducanu had totally given up the point when suddenly Alcaraz came from nowhere to retrieve the ball, Raducanu having to duck as he threaded a winner down the line. Utter brilliance, which Raducanu greeted by putting her hands to her head in disbelief. But it was the squeaky-clean hitting of Pegula and the brutal aggression of Draper which carried the day. This was the first we had seen of Draper since Wimbledon; he has been nursing a forearm injury and it was heartening to see him looking so good on court. 'I haven't hit a ball yet,' Pegula said to her team at 2-0. It was an exaggeration but Draper really had taken over the early part of the match. Dragula were last night playing their quarter-final, chasing that $1million first prize. So, how was the first day of the event overall? Well there was, predictably, some shocking doubles on display as the singles players chanced their arm. Musetti/McNally vs Osaka/Monfils was a particularly ugly watch - they all just sat on the baseline and exchanged dreary, hopeless rallies. But Arthur Ashe stadium was sold out - that is 23,771 fans to watch mixed doubles - and Louis Armstrong was open to the public for free. Jannik Sinner, as expected, pulled out after retiring with illness from his Cincinnati final against Alcaraz on Monday night, and that left a serious lack of star power but Iga Swiatek and Casper Ruud were good value. Amid all the big names, the stars of the day were Italian defending champions Sara Errani and Andrea Vavassori. The doubles specialists have been unremittingly critical of this event, describing it as a 'profound injustice' and played with a furious intensity, determined to show the world that singles class would be trumped by doubles nous. They certainly did that. It was almost embarrassing to watch the way they ran rings around Taylor Fritz and Elena Rybakina, who were made to look ham-fisted compared to the sprightly Italians who shimmered across the net. 'They are amazing players, we all know that,' said Vavassori. 'But the tactics in doubles are important.
Daily Mirror
an hour ago
- Daily Mirror
BBC presenter announces pregnancy in joyful update after engagement and new home
BBC sports presenter Jenny Drummond has revealed she's expecting her first child, sharing the news after recently getting engaged to her long-time love and moving into a new home BBC and TNT Sports presenter Jenny Drummond has revealed she's expecting her first child, sharing the happy news with fans after a life-changing year that's seen her get engaged and move into a new house. The 36-year-old sports journalist, who is best known for her coverage of major events like Wimbledon, the Women's Six Nations, and The Open, posted a photo cradling her baby bump on social media, writing: "They say things sometimes come in threes - engagement, house, now baby G. Feeling very lucky indeed." While she didn't tag or name her partner, fans and famous friends were quick to celebrate the milestone. It comes after Cheryl's emotional tribute to Liam Payne in her first big job since his tragic death. After sharing her wonderful news, Jenny's famous pals flocked to the comments to wish her congratulations. Broadcaster Laura Woods wrote: 'Amazing news congratulations! Xxx." Jenny, who is a former tennis player who transitioned into broadcasting, also shared a more personal glimpse into her pregnancy journey. Posting a behind-the-scenes video from Wimbledon, where she voiced and presented the BBC 's women's final preview, she admitted she was struggling with morning sickness at the time. "Always so proud to present and voice the women's preview to the Wimbledon final of @bbcsport coverage," she captioned the clip. "Not going to lie, I puked my way through this shoot – morning sickness has not been my friend but we got there thanks to pick n mix and most importantly to Joe Bamonte, @bensmith_cam and the editing team in Salford." Jenny, who hails from Scotland, has become one of the most recognisable faces in British sports broadcasting. Her work spans tennis, rugby, and golf, and she's gained a loyal following for her intelligent commentary and professional presence on screen. Despite her success, Jenny has also been candid about the hurdles she has faced as a woman in a male-dominated field. Speaking to the Daily Mail recently, she opened up about the ongoing double standards in sports media: "As a female you get commented on how you look and what you wear rather than how you perform as a presenter or reporter," she said. "Then people criticise the angle of your questions or how articulate you were in the way that you said something. That p**s me off, for sure," Jenny added. She also explained why she keeps her distance from social media engagement: "I use Twitter /X for work but am not active on it. I'm sensitive and can't hack that (abuse) side of it, so I don't even bother looking."
