Armie Hammer Revealed What Happened When He Tried To Hook Up With A Man Once, And I'm At A Loss For Words
Content warning: Discussion of abuse, rape, suicide, and addiction.
Armie Hammer"tried hooking up with a dude one time," and he spilled all the details, whether you want to hear it or not.
In 2021, the Call Me by Your Name actor faced numerous accusations from women of physical abuse and sexual assault. However, in May 2023, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office determined there wasn't enough evidence for him to face charges.
Armie denied all the allegations but was still dropped by his agency, WME, and fired from all his TV and film projects in 2021. Only recently has The Social Network actor slowly attempted a comeback with his own podcast and the Western movie Frontier Crucible on the horizon.
On Monday's episode of The Armie HammerTime Podcast, Armie revealed to mental health coach Dani Druz that he hooked up with a man once, which did "absolutely nothing" for him. "I tried hooking up with a dude one time, and it was hilarious," he said.
"I was like, women are the worst," Armie continued. "Gay dudes seem to have it so easy. Like, so easy."
"I'm at a restaurant, my phone blows up, and it's, like, Grindr and someone else is like, 'I'm at the same restaurant. Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom? And you're like, 'Hey, guys. I'll be back in five minutes,'" he said.
"And then you get up and you go to the bathroom, you get a blowjob, and you come back, and they're like, 'What was that?' And you're like, 'I don't know, some guy just sucked my dick.' I don't know. I didn't get his name. Anyway, what'd you order?'"
"So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna give this a try...maybe this actually works for me," Armie explained to Dani.
He had met a "handsome, French" man.
"I was like, Okay, this could work. This could work. Let's try this," Armie said. "I remember I started making out with him. And I just remember being like, 'God, beards. I get why women like it when you shave. This thing is fucking rough."
"I put my arms around him, and I was like, oh my god," Armie continued. "And these shoulders are so wide. He's so big. Like, he's almost my height. Like, this is so strange."
"And it did, physically, for me, absolutely nothing. Not even a twitch... And then I remember, like, we were, like, making out, and it was kinda getting hotter and heavier. But I was, like, going through the motions...he reached for my dick, and I was like, 'You're not gonna touch my flaccid penis. This is not going to happen. I'm sorry.'"
@ArmieHammerTime / youtu.be
So, based on Armie's story, are broad shoulders and a beard absolute deal breakers? But is being French okay? Hmmm... that tracks.
In my honest opinion, Armie's revelation would be more shocking if only he wasn't telling a story that is so tragically true of the dating world between sexually curious men.
Believe it or not, this is only a few minutes of a 2-hour podcast episode. If you're brave enough, you can watch the full episode here.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
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