CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night's TV: Keep off the NHS wards Netflix, and leave it to the experts at Channel 5
Rating:
Channel 5 is the home of shows about farmers, compilations of royal archive footage, and wistfully nostalgic celebrations of chocolate bars in the 1970s.
You don't switch on expecting to see 15-part international political thrillers with Emmy-winning performances from Hollywood superstars and CGI spectaculars where terrorists blow up the White House.
That is best left to the mega-budget streaming services. So why on earth is Netflix making a formulaic, NHS-by-numbers hospital documentary, when that's the speciality of traditional broadcasters with limited funds?
Critical: Between Life And Death is a carbon copy of shows aired every week, not only on Ch5 but on the BBC and Ch4. Each series has its own angle: Ambulance follows the paramedic crews, Surgeons: At The Edge Of Life goes into the operating theatre, and 24 Hours In A&E charts the frantic pace on emergency wards.
All of them are polished, well-practised productions. It's arrogant of Netflix to assume they can elbow their way into this market and give the formula a new twist. They can't: the six episodes of Critical feel robotic and slightly insincere, a cynical attempt to steal another broadcaster's successful format.
The series is filmed across London 's Major Trauma System, a network of teams within the NHS. 'It's a big orchestra working together,' the voiceover explains, 'and everyone leaves their mark' — a vacuous and meaningless statement.
The first episode follows the aftermath of an accident at a fairground, where several people including a 12-year-old girl have been injured on a ride. The injuries seem severe at first, with one woman suffering a fractured skull, but everyone escapes with their lives and the odd broken bone.
The drama of this is dragged out for 40 minutes, at the same relentless pitch of anxiety throughout. There are no other storylines, no moments of humour or asides, with the result that the whole show becomes a trudge.
Casualty 24/7: Every Second Counts, returning for its tenth series on Ch5, demonstrates how it should be done.
The cheery voice of actor Dean Andrews begins by introducing us to the staff on duty, who this time include a ward sister called Jane who reveals a stash of lollipops and choccie bars — fuel for the busy day.
'Get ready to share a shift with the team at Barnsley Casualty,' announces Dean, with the chirpiness of a man on his way to the vending machine for a cup of milky coffee with two sugars.
There's nothing as cataclysmic as a disaster at the fairground, but the medical emergencies grip our emotions because the film-makers know what really matters: people, not procedures.
John, 67, fell and broke his wrist while feeding the cat. Nine-year-old Alice snapped her collarbone, and doesn't know whether to be horrified or thrilled by her predicament. And dog-walker Cerys, 21, keeps having asthma attacks . . . because she's allergic to dogs. Possibly time for a career change.
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