What is post-graduation grief, and how to get over it

Business Times

7 days ago

[SINGAPORE] Last Monday, I turned the tassel and, with a degree in hand, I waved goodbye to my academic life.
Standing among fellow graduates, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding – we were about to enter the 'real' world with divergent paths ahead of us.
What euphoria I experienced during this momentous occasion faded away, and in its place crept in something that took me longer to name: grief.
Be it losing a job or falling out with others, we grieve with every major change in life – including graduations.
Post-graduation grief is not about regretting your major or missing the classroom. Instead, most graduates find themselves mourning who they were and the momentum that carried them through school. It is the end of the only chapter we've ever known in our young lives.
😵‍💫 Spiralling
A NEWSLETTER FOR YOU
Friday, 3 pm Thrive
Money, career and life hacks to help young adults stay ahead of the curve.
Sign Up
Sign Up
The educational system provides us with three key things: structure, purpose and community.
There was comfort to the routines that timetables, examinations and deadlines provided. Knowing there will always be another semester and another summer holiday gave me a sense of security.
But no one prepares us for the melancholic limbo graduates face upon losing these routines so abruptly. Waking up to a blank calendar with endless possibilities after graduating can feel more paralysing than liberating.
In my case, I was fortunate enough to land a full-time position, which provided some scaffolding to my life. But returning to school for my graduation ceremony brought about the realisation that a part of me still feels unprepared for the 'real' world – as if I've been thrown into a battlefield without so much as a farewell to the life I'm leaving behind.
The reality is, it is during times of transition that we become more likely to spiral emotionally. In fact, postgraduates are more susceptible to mental health risks and are especially prone to depression during this time, studies have found.
What's worse, Gen Zs are graduating in the thick of a tough employment landscape and burdened by crushing student debt – which only adds to the anxieties about the future.
Without clarity on the next steps, it is easy for graduates to feel lost and unanchored – questioning if they are falling behind, even though there is nothing specific to measure their journey against.
🧗 Clinging on
'I miss being a student already.' This was one of the first things a friend exclaimed as we left our graduation ceremony. I, too, chimed in agreement.
Strangely, I was glad to know others around me were still clinging to our university life on the very day we were supposed to celebrate its end.
On the surface, we reminisce about our time on overseas exchange and how we romanticised our study sessions. But digging deeper, most of us miss the version of ourselves who existed in that space – someone that was still becoming and free to change.
Unbounded by career titles, university life gave us room to explore. Whether it be sitting for a sculpting class as a science student or joining an investment club without prior experience, these moments let us imagine who we could become.
The school environment permits us to fail, pivot and dream without severe consequences – privileges we are often not afforded in the working world. This is why I think most of us find it difficult to let go of our student status.
But of course, not everyone grieves the end of their academic life. Some sprint towards the working world with clarity and momentum. But for the rest of us, we miss the times when even uncertainty felt exciting, not terrifying.
❤️‍🩹 How to recover
A friend who graduated a year earlier shared that it took her six months to get over her post-graduation grief.
As someone who is still in the midst of it, I can't help but wonder what my 'recovery' timeline would look like. But as I type this out, I realise there shouldn't be a fixed timeline for moving on.
While graduations are a major milestone, remember that it is also a form of loss. A peer describes this as grieving the 'death of our youth', an analogy I resonate with.
You are not just leaving academia, but letting go of your former self, a life rhythm you created and the safe space you grew up in. So, give yourself time and grace to grieve it.
Needless to say, there is more to life than being in university and endless milestones you have yet to see and reach.
But for starters, here are some ways you can pick yourself up during these unnerving times:
Start with small routines: It can be as simple as fixing your sleep schedule to having a morning ritual. Finding a rhythm to life may combat the shapelessness of adulthood.
Redefine progress: Create your own markers of success, set daily or weekly goals to work towards.
Be intentional with connections: Building a community and making friends may no longer come easy, but finding your people through hobbies and places of interest can help. Make a conscious effort to invest in your existing friendships.
TL;DR