Woman Is Shocked After Finding ‘Affectionate' Photos of Her Partner with His Ex on His Laptop: ‘Why Keep Them?'
A Mumsnet user is seeking opinions on whether it's normal for her partner to keep old photos of himself with his ex-girlfriend
'He said he doesn't want to delete them as they were part of his experience in life,' she said of the photos on his laptop
A reader replied that she's being unreasonable and that 'the problem is you think he needs your permission'A woman is having a complicated relationship with her partner's laptop.
The girlfriend explained on the community forum Mumsnet that she stumbled upon photos of her boyfriend with his ex on his computer — a triggering moment that she admitted 'honestly doesn't sit well with me.'
'I just want to know what the norm is/is acceptable in regards to keeping pictures from previous relationships,' she wrote. 'He gave me his laptop to view some pictures we took today and a picture with his ex popped up. To be fair, he quickly immediately closed it. It wasn't a casual picture.'
'It was one where they were showing affection on a holiday. It did make me feel some type of way as we were on holiday too,' she added. 'When I brought it up he said he doesn't want to delete them as they were part of his experience in life and that he wants to be able to look back at them when he's old as part of his experience in life.'
She noted that she might just be feeling 'silly' about it all and that he's 'definitely not getting back' with his ex-girlfriend.
'I just don't want pictures of him being affectionate or romantic with another girl popping up randomly in my face,' she confessed, before detailing what she might tell him to potentially reach a compromise.
'I thought of suggesting he files them in a separate folder away from his main one or archive it somewhere, but I don't even think that's right,' she said. 'Why keep them for God's sake if the relationship has ended?'
In a Mumsnet poll under her post, 88% of the more than 150 voters selected 'You are being unreasonable' as their voting option.
'He told you why,' one person pointed out. 'He wants to have them when he is older to look back on as part of life's experience. The problem is you think he needs your permission, or to offer a reason that you get to decide is acceptable. You are being off the wall horrible and super controlling.'
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'There is no need to eradicate every trace of one's former life if your relationship is rock solid,' another reader replied.
A third user liked the woman's suggestion but agreed with most readers, commenting, 'Filing the photos away so they don't pop up randomly on the screen is fine. Asking him to delete them is not reasonable.'
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