DAVID MARCUS: Biden's autopen poised for $10M payday
I mean, come on. First of all, the odds are good that Grandpa Joe cannot remember what he had for breakfast today, much less the detailed doings of the White House for four long years. But also, nobody on Planet Earth thinks this man is capable of writing so much as a thank-you card.
I've written a book. It's difficult, unenjoyable and requires mental stamina. To state it clearly, if Joe Biden is writing a book, then I'm the Dalai Lama.
Of course, nobody is surprised when former presidents or other celebrity types get big-money book deals thrown at them, or that many employ ghostwriters. But the ghost of William Faulkner couldn't get a book's worth of sensible commentary out of Ol' Joe.
This is the same former president who could barely manage a 10-minute interview with The New York Times this month. At that rate, this book would take a hundred years to finish, even if his son Hunter filled some pages with his lovely illustrations.
No, it will not be Joe Biden who composes this fabulous work of fan fiction. It will likely be crafted by many of the same people who have their fingerprints all over the infamous White House autopen.
This guy makes Jimmy Carter look like Cicero, and this book might be the very last chance to restore any respect and dignity at all to Scranton Joe.
This inner circle that served both Joe and Jill Biden for years, from Ron Klain, to Anthony Bernal, to Susan Rice, seem to have been the real people running the country. But that's not what Biden's book will say about them.
Biden's memoir will really be their day in court, especially now that many have pleaded the Fifth Amendment when asked about Biden's decline by Congress.
In this way, even if Joe has no clue this book is even being written, it could still wind up an important document insofar as it will serve as the official Biden camp version of events, a sneak peek of which Hunter Biden may have given us this week.
On the "Channel 5" podcast the former first son, painter, and Ukrainian gas executive, gave a profanity-laden performance that felt like an audition for a David Mamet play. Take this gem, describing the Democrats who turned on his dad:
"James Carville—who hasn't run a race in 40 f--ing years—and David Axelrod, who had one success in his political life, and that was Barack Obama. And that was because of Barack Obama—not because of f---ing David Axelrod."
Actually, if Joe's book reads anything like this, it could be a bestseller. Democrats have been cursing up a storm lately, but Hunter actually seems to be good at it, as his father was rumored to be in private.
Democrats may be about to find out that hell hath no fury like a Biden scorned, and even if Joe himself thinks he's having lunch with long-dead Maggie Thatcher tomorrow, those closest to him know where all the bodies are buried.
For Joseph Robinette Biden, this book deal, this cool 1$0 million, is likely the final payout of a long and very lucrative career in public service. Make of that combination what you will, but for those loyal to him, it is much more.
Biden's legacy and reputation in the pantheon of American politics is as low as it can be. This guy makes Jimmy Carter look like Cicero, and this book might be the very last chance to restore any respect and dignity at all to Scranton Joe.
So for whomever is writing this book, here is a piece of advice. Do the American people and Joe Biden a favor and just tell the truth. We can handle it, and even if the truth is bad, the perception of it is already very, very bad.
Biden can't undo the terrible harm he did as president, the crushing inflation, the surging border or the feckless and facile foreign policy disasters. But those in charge of this book have a chance to set the record straight now.
Let's pray that they take it, even though we know, they almost certainly will not.
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