Arnold Schwarzenegger feels the strain of playing an action hero at 75

Telegraph

3 days ago

They don't make movie stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger anymore. So it makes a twisted kind of sense that he's the star attraction in Fubar (Netflix), the kind of dumb and dumber kick-ass action comedy drama that went out of style with The A-Team.
Still, what goes around comes around and maybe the time is right for flag-waving fist-pumping adventures where subtlety takes a distant second place to smart wisecracks and blizzards of bullets. If only Fubar (an acronym, with military roots, for F--ked Up Beyond All Recognition, in case you were wondering) was better at what it's trying to be.
Arnie's mighty shoulders do their best to carry an eight-episode slog, swamping what might have made a half-decent two-hour action movie, but at 75 even he is feeling the strain of playing a convincing action hero. So you get long Arnie-less stretches filled with a carnival of back-up characters who do their best to patch together what feels like five TV shows all going on everywhere, all at once.
This is the second run for Fubar and when we left Arnie and co last time out, they were setting off on the run, dastardly baddies on their tail. When we pick up the story, they've been holed up in a safe house for months, nerves in tatters, and duly primed for a fresh bash at saving the world from imminent destruction.
Enter Carrie-Anne Moss, sporting a wobbly accent and a killer bob, as ex-East German spy Greta, an old adversary and on-off squeeze of Arnie's undercover CIA operative Luke Brenner. When these two are renewing rivalries, grinding out a tango (Arnie with a rose in his mouth!) and playing out a cat and mouse game of Grumpy Old Spies, Fubar hints at the show it could be.
With bittersweet nods at the unkind passing of time, Luke and Greta reminisce about the good old espionage days, exchanging wry reflections on how getting old sucks. 'Yes,' she says. 'Sometimes I walk into a room now and I forget… who I came to kill.' If Fubar had the guts to lean into that kind of world-weary comedy, it would have made for a much more entertaining animal.
But, even though it's strewn with shoot-outs galore, gory deaths which stray into Midsomer Murders territory – watch out for the meat slicer – and frequent dives into the most basic of toilet humour, Fubar somehow comes off as slightly dull. Which is some going for an overstuffed plot which includes a comedy pig, the threat of nuclear armageddon and an extraordinarily high body count.
That's largely down to the total lack of jeopardy: you can guess from the outset that each of the good guys survives and a happy ending for everyone is all but guaranteed.
Rising above this saccharin formula, former Hollyoaks favourite Guy Burnet chews the scenery as the type of typically morally ambiguous Brit US shows love, switching sides at the drop of his Union Jack boxers. Burnet steals the show as Theodore Cripps, a Bond goodie/baddie in the making. He keeps you guessing in a series which otherwise runs on all too familiar tracks – Arnie included.