My wife accused me of ‘selective hearing' – turns out I really was deaf

Telegraph

12-07-2025

We got to the point where Michael would say there's no point going to an event because he won't hear anything, so it was isolating. There were also occasions where we would go to an event and after about 20 minutes, Michael would say he was going home.
I also thought it could be a bit of selective hearing, that my voice had simply become a bit of a noise to my husband. I became somebody I didn't particularly like because there was a lot of shouting and a lot of me snapping at him because dealing with mishearing several times a day gets very annoying.
Michael wearing a hearing device has been a game changer. At our favourite restaurant the other night, which has amazing food but not great acoustics, he heard everything. My mood has certainly lightened because I'm not having to repeat myself all of the time and shout.
Once you become aware of hearing devices, you start to notice how many people are wearing them. I went for a walk with a great friend the other day and was talking about it and it turns out that she's been wearing them for about six years and I had no idea.
My mother used to have hearing devices but she never used to put the batteries in because she was very resistant to it. She did become quite isolated because she was literally zoning out because she couldn't hear things. The sooner you can intervene and get the hearing device you need, the better you can address it.
He had them on in the house the other day and walked across our wooden floor and said, instantly, I think we need to get the floor fixed because it's started to creak. I explained that it has been creaking for the last eight years.
How to spot the signs of hearing loss and when to act
Hearing loss affects 18 million adults in the UK, often unknowingly.
Age-related hearing loss is the most common type and it is caused by gradual wear and tear to the tiny sensory cells in the inner ear. It tends to affect both ears and there's currently no way to restore this form of hearing loss.
Mishearing is the main symptom but needing to ask people to repeat themselves, having music or television volume higher than other people need and feeling tired or stressed from having to concentrate while listening to others are also signs. It can also lead to relationship difficulties, with more than a third of couples arguing weekly because of mishearing, according to research from Specsavers.
As well as these effects on daily life, hearing loss, when left untreated, doubles the risk of developing dementia when it is mild, while severe hearing loss that is not treated raises the risk five-fold. This link isn't fully understood but it is thought that people with hearing loss may become isolated, which is a dementia risk factor.
'Many don't realise that they are missing parts of the conversation,' says Sonam Sehemby, a hearing expert at Specsavers. 'Since it develops gradually, people often wait up to 10 years before seeking help.'
However, hearing loss is easily diagnosed with a simple hearing check, which is available on the NHS and free at some pharmacies and opticians. Following a diagnosis, hearing aids are recommended to combat hearing loss by making sounds louder and clearer.