2 ‘Compatibility Tests' For Your Relationship, By A Psychologist
Compatibility may look different to everyone, but some values stand true for all. Here are some questions that help you determine how compatible you are with your partner:
Here are two ways to answer these questions of compatibility in real life, and assess the strength of your relationship.
1. The Vacation Compatibility Test
Travelling together stands out as a powerful way to put relationships to 'test.' This is because travelling often puts us in new environments and situations where our 'true colors' come to light. You'll likely see your partner at their best and their worst.
Travelling together reveals how you two solve problems together, how planned or spontaneous you are and how you emotionally regulate yourselves. For instance, one partner saying 'I'm good with anything' while you struggle to pick out a restaurant, only for them to reject your cuisine choices more than once, may make you want to give up on the spot.
During your next vacation, ask yourselves these questions to reflect on key aspects of your relationship:
There are, in fact, some traits that 'win' the vacation compatibility test. A 2025 study published in Tourism Review explored the personality traits and conflict styles that are most important for keeping relationships strong during travel. They found that displaying openness, agreeableness and being obliging as a conflict resolution strategy is essential for relationship maintenance.
If you prefer to go with the flow, for instance, you can try to be more agreeable to your partner who prefers a planned schedule for the day. But if you're the organized one, being open to new experiences can reduce friction with your partner, while you find new ways to enjoy the trip.
A 2015 study published in the Journal of Travel Research also found that vacation satisfaction is linked to relationship satisfaction and commitment. So, if done right, vacations can bring you closer.
2. The Live-In Compatibility Test
Living together is an important decision that requires a lot of foresight, trust and commitment to your partner. It turns out, relationship outcomes vary based on the intent behind this decision. Are you living together as part of the dating process? Are you living together with clear plans for a future together? Or is it out of pure convenience?
Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships studied over 13oo never-married couples who live together. Researchers found that engaged couples who are aligned on marriage plans had the best relationship outcomes, whereas couples with mismatched goals on marriage were the least satisfied and had more conflict.
So, before the two of you agree to move in together, discuss whether you're on the same page about marriage. While many couples tend to live together due to financial constraints, do not live with someone just to relieve economic burden or because it 'just happened.' Your intent to move in should stem from genuine feelings and love for them.
Once you do move in together, you'll start to find out more about your partner, their qualities and quirks. It's worth having early, detailed conversations about things like routines, finances, household rules and personal space. Try to figure out answers to these questions:
Living together brings out how you both navigate the everyday nitty-gritty. The rules can change, but the important thing is that you're both okay with the system you build for yourselves.
Once you do, you get an idea of the big picture: Can I do life with this person, not just the fun parts, but also the mundane and the messy?
Travelling and living together give you enough time to find out each others' habits, strengths and areas for improvement.
It tells you how 'safe' you feel around them (do you still run to the bathroom or balcony just to fart or can you be in the same room and laugh it off?) and how well you solve problems, from splitting chores to figuring out the best path on a hike. You learn if you can spend time apart as well as you spend time together, and how much time apart is best for both of you.
While compatibility comes naturally to a large extent, partners can also learn to be better for each other with time. They can learn to compromise, adjust to each other's routines and fulfil each other's needs. Compatibility often requires evolution, and can grow as the relationship does.
Are you and your partner truly compatible? Take this science-backed test to learn where your relationship stands: Relationship Satisfaction Scale
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Travel + Leisure
6 hours ago
- Travel + Leisure
I'm a Former Travel Agent, and Here Are 10 Things You Won't Need for a Europe Trip and What to Bring Instead
Before I became a Travel + Leisure editor, I worked as a travel agent for five years. Along with planning dream vacations, I would also offer packing advice to clients who were unsure about what to bring along on their European getaways. Summer is high season in Europe—in fact, I just returned from a trip to Paris myself. As an overpacker, I know the struggle of packing light, but it's better to curate your suitcase space ahead of time to avoid wasting space on things you won't use. I've thought about what my clients used to ask me as we planned every step of their journey, from what size baggage they would need on their international flight to voltage standards abroad to how to dress in different European cities. Here are some tips from a former travel agent on what to pack for your next trip to Europe, along with what to leave behind, all available at Amazon from $8. Small flights between European cities or on budget airlines often have more limited overhead bin space for carry-ons. Airlines will sometimes even measure your bag to enforce the size restrictions. I've had many clients who try to avoid checking a bag at all costs, so I would recommend getting a compact, malleable bag like this Osprey hybrid, which you can wear as a duffel or a backpack. I personally find it easier to wear a backpack when traveling to Europe to avoid lugging heavy suitcases onto trains or over bumpy cobblestone alleyways. Even if you carry a brick of a wallet at home, it's best to pare it down to just the essentials when traveling, and get a slim travel wallet to slip into your purse or front pocket. I think the minimalistic design of this pouch is perfect for holding a few credit cards, cash, and even coins. If your hotel has a physical key, you can attach it to the key ring or use that to secure it to a key leash inside a travel bag to keep it secure. The fabric is also waterproof and has RFID protection. It comes in more than 40 colors; I personally love a bright color, so you can find it quickly inside your bag. I'll admit I usually prefer a hard copy of a book over an e-reader, but there have been many times when I've regretted packing multiple books. I never know exactly how many I'll need, and they end up getting ripped and bent in my luggage. Plus, I hate to be that person on a plane who has their overhead light on when everyone else is trying to sleep. It's much more convenient to bring a Kindle while traveling because of the slim design, adjustable light settings, and access to a library full of books. My clients traveling abroad for the first time would ask me about what to wear in major European cities like Paris or Rome, and I would recommend leaving the short shorts or frumpy sweatpants at home, as locals tend to dress a bit more formally. There's no need to buy a whole new wardrobe, but it's worth it to stock up on a few versatile pieces. You can't go wrong with this easy-to-wear dress that will keep you cool but still covers your knees and shoulders in case you plan to visit any old churches. While you may not think twice about using an open-top bag at home, you should be more cautious about traveling with this type of purse in any big city because it's too risky for potential thieves to reach right into your bag in crowded spaces. Instead, opt for a more secure purse like this anti-theft messenger bag, which has a zipper at the top, locking compartments, slash-resistant material, and RFID-blocking panels. I also love the mesh water bottle pockets so you can stay hydrated while on the go. Many European cities have cobblestone streets, which are charming and beautiful but also difficult to walk on. Any time I pack heels, I never wear them, and I always wish I had flats instead. Stilettos are going to slow you down, and they're inevitably going to get stuck in the street cracks, so look for a pair of versatile flats that you can walk for miles in and then wear to dinner at the end of the day. These chic Vivaia flats are made from a breathable knit material, and they have an adjustable strap. They come in more than a dozen colors, and they're machine washable. As much as I love my emotional support water bottle, it's way too big to travel with and would probably garner some stares if I carried it with me around Europe. Leave the Stanleys at home, and opt for a collapsible water bottle that you can compress when not in use. This LifeStraw bottle is a game-changer because it has a built-in water filter for added protection against bacteria, parasites, and other miscellaneous objects that no one wants to find floating around inside their water. The screw-top helps prevent spills, and there's a side loop that you can attach to a carabiner if you want to hook the bottle onto a bag or backpack. Most travel steamers in the U.S. won't work in Europe because of the different voltage standards. You could consider investing in a universal adapter and voltage converter, or you could leave the heavy steamer at home in favor of a fabric wrinkle-release spray like this two-pack from Downy. At 3 fluid ounces each, they're much easier to pack, and all you have to do is spray onto your clothing and tug to see the wrinkles vanish while giving the fabric a fresh scent. Like travel steamers, if you plug in your hair dryer with mismatched voltage, it's possible to ruin your device or even start a fire. Go the safer route with easy heatless curlers like this affordable set from Kitsch. Simply wrap your hair around the flexible rod, go to sleep, and wake up with a head full of curls without wasting time getting ready. The curling rod is made from satin to reduce frizz, and the set also includes two satin scrunchies. As a travel agent, I used to get questions about whether you can bring disinfecting wipes on a plane or if that qualifies as a liquid, since the large containers have a fair amount of liquid at the bottom. You can totally bring them—I fly with them all the time. However, instead of wasting space with a cylindrical tube, I'd recommend a more manageable two-pack that you can use to wipe down not only your airplane seat, but also rental cars, hotel rooms, or your suitcase. Love a great deal? Sign up for our T+L Recommends newsletter and we'll send you our favorite travel products each week.
Forbes
7 hours ago
- Forbes
The Luxury Transformation Of Oregon's Classic Tu Tu' Tun Lodge
Escaping the 100-degree Southern California summer, my wife and I took a driving vacation to the Northern California redwoods and on to Southern Oregon. As part of our trip, we stayed at the recently rethought and renovated Tu Tu' Tun Lodge, along the Rogue River east of Gold Beach, Oregon. Gold Beach is more than 650 miles from Los Angeles. So the first stage of our trip was to visit Avenue of the Giants, the magnificent 31-mile drive through an ancient redwood forest. Later we drove to Redwood National Park and stopped in Crescent City, California, to learn more about the largest tsunami ever recorded in the U.S., which devastated the area in 1964. The redwood forests were beautiful, but our pre-Tu Tun accommodations were certainly not. A 100-year-old inn in Eureka seemed deserted except for spooky painting of guests from its glory days, from Boris Karloff to Winston Churchill to Nancy Reagan. A bank of old phone booths await a call from beyond. Across the Oregon border, the motel we stayed at was a 'honey, put the heaviest chair you can find under the door' nightmare. As for much of the 'Lost Coast' cuisine, if you want something other than fish and chips or hamburgers, well, you can't eat scenery. But along the Rogue River, Tu Tu' Tun Lodge stands as an island of relaxation and fine dining, an oasis of excellence in a desert of questionable accommodations and indifferent service. When we arrived, it wasn't just the resort's pastoral beauty that impressed us. Staying at a professionally run resort actually focused on hospitality was a revelation. We stayed at six hotels on our ten-night trip. Hands down, Tu Tu' Tun Lodge was the finest hotel—and the best experience—on our trip. Tu Tu' Tun Lodge, established in 1970, takes its name from the Tu Tu Tunne people, a band of Rogue River Native Americans who were the area's original inhabitants. 'Tu Tu' Tun' translates to 'people of the place by the water,' reflecting the deep connection of the tribe. Nestled along the Rogue River, the lodge has long been a refuge for travelers seeking tranquility, adventure, and the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Tu Tu' Tun was also a favorite of fishermen fishing on the Rogue or in the Pacific. Since April 2024, Tu Tu' Tun has been undergoing a transformation, from rustic lodge to destination dining and first-class hotel. The lodge is also now operated by people with the skills, will, and financial backing to provide a true dining and hospitality experience. Local fish and farm raised Wagyu beef were the among the highlights of the restaurant at Tu Tu' Tun. Chinook salmon from the Rogue River were pink and delicious, as was halibut caught off the Oregon coast. The potato bread, made in house, is served piping hot. Other favorites were the spicy, savory and crunchy Shiseido peppers, nicely balance with a refreshing melon salad. Dining was in the lovely dining room or outside under propane heaters with cozy Pendleton blankets. Derek the outstanding chef, food and beverage supervisor and overall leader of the charge, came from Tao. He left Brazil at 14 to move to New Zealand and eventually New York. A key part of his job is making local people with limited hospitality experience into sophisticated hoteliers. One was our 18-year-old waitress, from nearby Gold Beach. She had an infectious laugh as she explained that we had best talk to the 'som' about wine, as she wasn't old enough to drink. Previously, the lodge had a family-style restaurant with Lazy Susans full of food on the table for guests to serve themselves. Derek didn't like the idea that 'You should force people to eat communally. Guests seemed to enjoy eating as couples or with friends. Sourcing great food from the area was as difficult as finding great employees. Derek detailed his trials finding local fishermen to deliver quality fish, as well as vendors for vegetables and beef. I even met the rancher who supplied Wagyu and F1 beef to Tu Tun. F1 Wagyu refers to the first-generation crossbred cattle, typically 50% Wagyu and 50% of another breed, here Angus. Derek doesn't plan on hoarding such sources; 'I want every local restaurant to be able to access these suppliers.' In his informal 'academy,' Derek put together a mixture of locals and experienced professionals. It helps that, as I was told by an employee, that the new owners are focused on paying a living wage to the Tu Tu' Tun team, and to keeping the hotel open year-round rather than laying off 90% of employees after the season. In 2024-2025 the lodge stayed open for the winter, doing events like winemaker dinners. 'Once people are here the lodge sells itself,' says Derek. 'The sauna and the fireplace are still hot in the winter.' Adrian, the veteran bar manager and innovative drink maker, came from 18 years in Las Vegas. Now enjoying the quiet life in the woods, she brought her ability to make special drinks, like her black garlic Negroni and perfect martini. Hannah, the ex-Navy general manager, waitress, bar tender and general factotum, was a can-do 'find.' She grew up in the area but had never worked in hospitality before she came to Tu Tu' Tun. Grant, the personable and knowledgeable 'som,' or sommelier, worked in some of the finest restaurants in the Dallas Metroplex. The face of the lodge has also been changing. The Tu Tu' Tun Lodge is an expansive property with about 30 rooms, including a couple of larger accomodations, the lodge, and new, mirrored glass cabins. It also boasts an idyllic view of the river, a new swimming pool and a very hot wood fired sauna for four. Mellow music played in the fireplace room filled with comfy couches and board games. The first night we stayed in the River House, a magnificent 1500 square foot house with a beautiful garden. It has not one but two primary bedrooms. Each bedroom has a beautiful bathroom and an adjoining private soaking tub. We chose the room with redwood deck with matching 6-foot redwood privacy wall, perfect for clothing-optional soaking under the stars. The 'glass cabins' are much more intimate but perfect for a romantic experience. Our cabin lacked a TV or a desk but had a snazzy shower and a near-360-degree view of the woods, river or the night sky when the black-out curtains were opened. Located near a small pond, the cabins were created when an old trailer park was acquired and leveled. A total of 16 'keys' or cabins were added. And the new Tu Tu' Tun has already had a wedding buyout for all 30 rooms. At the resort, guests can sit outside and read or enjoy a view of the Rogue. A walk around the grounds brought us face-to-face with a pair of deer who frequent the property. The young groundskeeper fed them the sour apples they craved but could not reach. The resort has kayaks and paddleboards for guests. Having never lived by a lake or gone to summer camp, I'm a bit shaky kayaking, especially when jet boats roared up the river and sent kayak-shaking waves. But even I got the hang of it after an hour. After getting soaked, it was a pleasure to get steamed in the wood-fired sauna. A very hot pleasure, as even the floor was almost too overheated to touch with one's feet. But I felt cleansed and virtuous after surviving five minutes. Some guests cooled off in the river, while others swam in the pool. Yoga classes have also been held on the grass by the river. Tu Tu' Tun also has electric bicycles for guests. A four-mile ride along the river was exhilarating but a bit scary as trucks roared by. We rode along the edge of the two-lane road to the river bridges, sharing the road with another deer. Ironically, the only time the area failed to deliver was on a fishing trip down the Rogue. We booked from a local guide, rather than from the hotel. Our guide and small boat joined 40 others circling near the river's mouth. State rules said we could not venture into the ocean. Despite our flasher and anchovy bait, we were not alone in failing to catch the promised 10-to-15-pound fish. Occasionally a designated 'seal lion patrol' boat set off an M80 firecracker to dissuade hungry seals from stealing fish. The foghorn blew every 30 seconds and pelicans sailed above, doing a quick half corkscrew turn before diving. After four hours we called it quits. I'd hoped Derek would cook my fish, but it was not to be. I asked the owners what they were trying to achieve with the Tu Tu' Tun Lodge. 'For us, Tu Tu' Tun Lodge is a truly special place, and we want more people to be able to experience it while keeping its soul intact,' said one of the owners, Mimi Byers. 'With the modern glass cabins, along with a focus on elevating food and beverage into a signature wilderness-to-table experience and leaning into the incredible natural surroundings, the lodge now offers even more ways for guests to connect with its magic.' Added co-owner Charles Banks, 'Our goals for the transformation of the lodge are to keep the soul and history intact while introducing a higher level of design, service and cuisine. No more chemicals and herbicides and pesticides -- a much more natural landscape and the low impact glass cabins are extremely sensitive to the riverfront environment.' Banks added, 'We are trying to elevate the lodge to be among the best small resorts in the country.' Oregon's Tu Tu' Tun Lodge seems well on its way to accomplishing this challenging goal.
Yahoo
8 hours ago
- Yahoo
9 Pa. state parks named among best in the US for 2025 — and one ranks No. 1
Nine Pennsylvania state parks are among the best value stays in the nation, including one in the southwestern region of the state that's ranked in the No. 1 spot. The analysis comes from vacation rental company HomeToGo, which released its 2025 State Park Index July 31. Topping the list of 100 state parks across the U.S. was Ohiopyle State Park. 'Waterfalls roar and trails wind through rugged gorges in this slice of the Alleghenies,' HomeToGo said of its No. 1 pick. 'Known for its natural waterslides and scenic Youghiogheny River, 2025's top state park is a veritable playground for hikers, rafters, and travelers chasing untamed landscapes.' Located in Fayette County, Ohiopyle State Park encompasses around 20,500 acres and offers hiking and multi-use trails, horseback and snowmobile riding, picnicking, camping, mountain biking, rock climbing and more. HomeToGo highlighted the park's waterfalls and trails, calling the destination 'a playground for hikers, rafters and nature seekers.' The 2025 index ranked state parks on a number of metrics, including accommodation price and affordability, size, scenic nature, trails, wildlife and a 'hidden gem' score. That measurement accounted for the volume of vacation rental stays in the area. A perfect total score is 60 and Ohiopyle took the top spot at 53.11. Pennsylvania was well represented in the great value analysis, with eight other state parks in the commonwealth joining Ohiopyle in the top 100. Among them were Centre County's Bald Eagle State Park and Black Moshannon State Park. The nearly 6,000-acre Bald Eagle State Park in central Pennsylvania offers swimming, fishing, boating, camping and other recreational opportunities in Howard. The park opened a new camping loop earlier this year. Bald Eagle ranked at No. 45 in the HomeToGo index with high marks for size and hidden gem score. Black Moshannon, in Rush Township, is a bit smaller at around 3,400 acres and includes a 250-acre lake of the same name and wetlands. It is surrounded by Moshannon State Forest. Like Bald Eagle, Moshannon performed best in the HomeToGo ranking when it came to size and hidden gem score, with an overall score of 47.49 of 60. In a post acknowledging Pennsylvania's performance in the index, the Department of Conservation and Natural Resources said initiatives to support the commonwealth's 124 parks offer 'affordable, accessible, and unforgettable outdoor experiences for everyone.' In addition to state parks, Pennsylvania also has several National Park Service holdings offering recreational opportunities. Pennsylvania's 2025 great value state parks Here's how Pennsylvania's state parks fared in the 2025 HomeToGo State Park Index. The commonwealth tied with Texas and Florida for states with the most parks featured on the ranking. Ohiopyle State Park, ranked No. 1 Caledonia State Park, ranked No. 19 Black Moshannon State Park, ranked No. 24 Cook Forest State Park, No. 26 Worlds End State Park, ranked No. 30 Presque Isle State Park, No. 39 Bald Eagle State Park, No. 45 Parker Dam State Park, No. 56 Cherry Springs State Park, No. 95 Solve the daily Crossword
